Lazy Weekend

This is me this weekend. We finally have a weekend off work, well for the most part. I am spending my time relaxing, reading, crocheting, playing with my granddoggies, and spending time with hubby.

Feels good.

Hot Topic Discussions Among Friends

I bring this up because I was always under the belief that true friends can discuss anything - any hot topic - without walking away from said discussion not ever wanting to talk to them again. I have always been able to in person. I am finding it difficult online.

Ever play the telephone game as a child? You know, the game in which something is whispered to the person sitting next to you and it is whispered to the next person and so on down the line until it gets back to the person who started the game. The trick was to see how much the text given to the 1st person is changed when it goes through even 5 people. Usually the whole context is different. That is because not one of us is alike. Some times that is a good thing. Other times it isn't.

So how can we have friends, be different, yet not destroy the relationship? I think it depends on the situation and the topic. Politics and religion are 2 super charged topics. There are times I just sit a discussion out and other times I get right into the middle of it. I try to remember what my grandmother taught me when I had a tendency to open mouth before thinking: You learn more when your mouth is shut and your ears are open.

Good advice. Hard to do.

So here's some other advice I have also used:
#1. You are never actually going to change anyone's mind. While you assume your logic will persuade another to see your views, the other person is just as determined that his/her logic is just as strong. Both of you have adopted logic that reinforces your own values.

#2. It is a proven medical fact that brain imaging studies prove that the emotional part of the brain takes over when you begin talking politics or religion or any other emotionally charged subject.

#3. Count to 10 before responding to any crass remark about anything you don't believe in. I can't count to 10 because it doesn't work. I find that if I remove myself from the conversation and don't return for a few days, the topic wasn't what I thought it was, nor was I really being judged. And if I still feel that way, I just walk away. They weren't friends to begin with.

#4. Never respond to another in the same nasty manner they have. If you don't have something nice to say, don't say anything.

#5. Don't pressure people to agree with you. No one likes a bully.

#6. Read out loud what others are saying. Sometimes reading something sounds different when actually spoken out loud. Listen to yourself. Reread what you write out loud. Make sure it is something you would want said to you.

#7. Never take the bait of someone who is definitely showing they are itching for a fight. Let them draw another to their level. Consider yourself above that.

#8. Stop when anger flares or everything gets tense. Agree to disagree and walk away. That means stay away.

#9. Debating means one wins and the other loses. A discussion means all the parties involved are mature and are logical. There are no winners and no losers and no hard feelings.

#10. Always discuss points and not people.

#11. Try to remember during heated discussions, there is something likable about nearly everyone.

#12. This one is my favorite: If you can't agree to disagree, rethink the relationship. Did you ever really see the other person or did you see what you wanted them to be?

Another Fortune Cookie

Ok, tonight's fortune is:

One who admires you greatly is hidden before your eyes.

Come come out where ever you are............

Fortune Cookie

Tonight for dinner I made sweet and sour chicken with brown rice filled with stir fry veges too and for dessert I served a few of the fortune cookies I had picked up at the store (they actually come in boxes now at the grocery store).

My fortune:

A secret admirer will soon send you a sign of affection.

I will be waiting..................although pretty sure it won't be the plumber I had to call to fix our busted hot water heater at the one office, or the remover of the bird poop from our sign, or my surgeon who called me lumpy this morning and so my husband decided to nickname me lumpyloopy now.

Nope....need the fortune to come true.......in the meantime I will be waiting.

Breast Biopsy

The breast MRI I had done on New Year's Eve showed a 3x3cm lump highly suspicious of cancer so yesterday I had an ultrasound guided breast biopsy done. The days between the test and the biopsy, as many of you know, have been pretty stressful. Yesterday when I checked in, my blood pressure was through the roof (154/104). Now I have had episodes before of high blood pressure but it was always when I was in pain or once when I was pretty stressed after a car accident and there was glass in my eyes and under my contacts. So this is pretty rare for me. Usually I am on the opposite spectrum - my blood pressure runs 100/60 and when I am really really tired it drops to 80/50. So since my blood pressure was that high yesterday, I have been taking it since to make sure this isn't going to be a normal thing. It hasn't been but it has taken 24 hours for it to come down. Today it is down to 130/80 which is ok - not my normal but ok. I think it is just showing how much stress I have been under. It is definitely something I will keep an eye on though.

Back to the biopsy......neither my husband nor I could feel this large breast lump. One that is 3x3cm should be felt but not mine (I always have to be different). So before they did the biopsy, the hospital first did a breast ultrasound. Most of you know what an ultrasound does but for those who don't: an ultrasound is a piece of equipment that has a monitor, a probe called a transducer, and a computer. Ultrasound imaging is based on the same principles as the sonar used by bats, ships and fishermen. When a sound wave strikes an object, it bounces back, or echoes. By measuring these echo waves it is possible to determine how far away the object is and its size, shape, and consistency (whether the object is solid, filled with fluid, or both). In this case, ultrasound is used to detect changes in appearance of organs, tissues, and vessels or detect abnormal masses, such as tumors. In an ultrasound examination, a transducer (probe) both sends the sound waves and records the echoing waves. When the probe is pressed against the skin, it directs small pulses of inaudible, high-frequency sound waves into the body. As the sound waves bounce off of internal organs, fluids and tissues, the sensitive microphone in the probe records tiny changes in the sound's pitch and direction. These waves are instantly measured and displayed by a computer, which in turn creates a real-time picture on the monitor. One or more frames of the moving pictures are typically captured as still images.

They actually found a lot of lumps but I do have fibrocystic breast disease so that is common. After 15 or so minutes they pinpointed the one that the MRI said was suspicious and marked it (X marked the spot with a skin marker). My breast was washed with betadine in layers, then the radiologist who specializes in breast biopsies came in and checked to make sure that the one marked was indeed the one he wanted biopsied. (I was lucky here in that the radiologist who read my MRI was the one who did the biopsy). Once the lump was marked, the radiologist injected a local anesthetic to numb it. The ultrasound tech then held the probe over the lump and the radiologist made a small cut in my breast and then inserted a large hollow needle. Using the ultrasound imaging, he guided it to the lump (hubs was there with me and we were able to watch the entire process on the ultrasound computer screen). It was kinda funny to see the tip of the needle advancing on the screen.

Once the radiologist got to the lump, he then inserted a core needle into the hollow part of the needle that was inside my breast. The core needle is an automatic spring loaded needle which has an inner needle connected to a trough and covered by a sheath and attached to the spring loaded mechanism. He activated the automatic mechanism and the needle moved forward and caught a 'core' of breast tissue. The outer sheath then moved forward to cut the tissue and keep it in the trough. He then took the inner needle out (leaving the large hollow needle in my breast), and put this core into a biopsy tube. He went on to take 7 other samples, going in different places within the lump to get a good sampling. After all samples had been collected, a small metal marker was placed in the lump which will help to identify the lump that samples were taken from. The large hollow needle was removed and pressure was applied to stop any bleeding and the opening in the skin is usually covered with a dressing. Since I am highly allergic to tape of any kind, a one inch stack of gauze was placed on the hole left by the biopsy and a nurse helped me put on my bra. It was kinda funny because the nurse asked me to bring a sports bra. When she asked me where it is, I asked her to find a manufacturer of sports bras that makes them for a H cup. They don't exist. My bras are over $200.00 the way it is. I get 3 a year. So my regular bra was put on, then two 6 inch ace wraps were used to bind me down and transform the H's into B's. Was definitely hard to breathe.

So I was awake during the entire procedure and I actually felt nothing until they switched from the nice warm gel in the first ultrasound to the sterile cold gel they had to use once the breast was prepped. I never felt the needle or anything. The only thing that bothered me was the binding - it pushed the wire in the bra into my skin. The nurse saw how much discomfort it was causing so she took everything back off and instead put the ace wraps on my breasts first then put on my bra. While the binding didn't change, it was at least more comfortable.

I was warned not to even lift my purse for 24-48 hours and especially don't use the right arm and to go to bed and relax. They didn't need to tell me twice. The night before the biopsy I didn't sleep at all. I was having hot flash after hot flash. So I think everything kinda caught up with me and I went to bed and slept for almost 6 hours, woke up and ate some grits, then went back to bed. I slept straight through till this morning. It was a little bit strange to sleep in my bra and the bindings and every time I tried to turn over in bed, they reminded me they were there. I have had very little pain - I would call it more discomfort and mainly from the binding.

Now it is just the waiting until the pathology report is in.

Red Light Cameras

I don't know if any of you have these in your area, but in our local paper, it made front page news. (No, it wasn't a slow story day because here in IL we have Blagojevich's impeachment trial starting and his wife was fired today from her fund raising job). This made news because of the sheer numbers of tickets that were given in a mere 6 week span in our town.

For those who do not know what a red light camera is - here is a definition: There is a camera at a designated intersection. The cameras snap pictures of vehicles that run red lights. The violator then receives a ticket in the mail for the infraction.

According to Eric Skrum, spokesman of the National Motorists Association, "Red-light cameras just reward cities for bad engineering." The group states: "The best remedies for dangerous intersections are engineering improvements like longer yellow lights and shielding signals to prevent glare and make the lights more visible as the sun sets." On the group's web site, they also state: "The organization believes that with properly posted speed limits and properly installed traffic-control devices, there is no need for camera-based traffic law enforcement devices."

I find this hilarious. Ask anyone what a red light or a yellow light or a green light means, especially a kid. They will say they have learned that a red light means stop. A green light means go. And a yellow light means go faster.

When I learned to drive (back in the olden ages), we were taught that a yellow light meant caution - slow down and be prepared to stop. In today's world, the belief is that if there is not a policeman around, you the motorist, have the right to do what you want. If you didn't firmly believe that, you would obey all traffic signs and speed limits without anyone watching. Does that happen? Only 10% of people do obey the traffic laws (speed limits, etc). I am one of them. My kids used to compare the number of cars that passed me when I drove to the number of cars my husband passed when he was driving. Guess who won?

I, for one, am glad to see red light cameras. I am sick and tired of seeing people run red lights or almost getting hit by one who runs the red light. Our town sent out 7000 tickets in 6 weeks. Each ticket sent to the owner of the car whose license plate was photographed was $100.00. Maybe the offenders will be helping me by stopping tax increases I would have had without this additional surprising income to the village.

Comfort Foods

Everyone has their own comfort foods and what it is will depend on many things. We turn to comfort food for familiarity, emotional security, a special reward, ease of preparation, culture, or even the cost of the food. The reason a dish becomes a comfort food are varied but it is often thought that a favorite comfort food has some pleasant association of childhood.

Favorite home-made comfort foods in the US include macaroni & cheese, mashed potatoes (or twice-baked potato), applesauce, peanut butter, and ice cream. None of those do it for me but I have always had to be different.

My comfort foods are buried in the South where I mainly grew up. There is nothing like homemade ice cream:


Or a nice warm deep dish peach pie with homemade ice cream of course:


But my favorite is what I came home to tonight after work, made by daughter who is staying with us while her husband is out of town on business: chicken fried steak with mashed tators, milk gravy and fried corn with homemade biscuits. Yummmmmmmm


So what are your comfort foods?