Sunday, December 19, 2010

Inspirational Sunday - Living vs Existing


Today's inspirational thoughts are about living vs existing. The stress levels in my life are at an all time high. I am frustrated trying to get things ready for Christmas without taking a day off because I can't. By Friday at noon, all shopping has to be done and wrapped, cookies made, lasagna made, and all carted to MIL's house for their Christmas (dinner is at high noon with presents right after). We are taking off and coming home early so I have to have another meal thought out and prepared for the evening for just the 5 of us. We will then have a gift exchange then go to candlelight service. Christmas day we will be alone but starting the prep for Christmas at my dad's with my entire family and there lies another long story.

I haven't been posting much at all. Frankly I am not only exhausted after working 12 hours 5-6 days a week, but dealing with being non-weight bearing again is really frustrating. Hopping on the left knee that I just had surgery on in July also has flared up the pain there. My one sister then decided to make a difficult Christmas (this is the 1st since my mother died) even more difficult by asking us for our good memories or thoughts of our mother as she is putting it into her Christmas present to each of us. I tried but I couldn't come up with any good memories. All I saw was anger at my sister for being the main reason why I closed by other blog and her contempt to me for my feelings. I wrote 3 draft emails before deleting them and writing a simple 'my feelings and thoughts are private and I intend to keep them that way'.

So right now I am just existing. Day to day, trying to just get through the day until I can crawl back into bed and just elevate my leg and go to sleep. I know it can be seen in my eyes and in my actions and in my lack of action. I am only about just trying to get done what needs to be done. Emotionally and physically I can't handle anything else.

This is what I have to change for myself. I know that. I have to take back control of my life and make my changes....instead of letting them run over me. I am trying but just can't get there yet.

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Recipe Wednesday - Cheesey Rice

Remember the beer cheese soup I mentioned here?

I save the extra soup and 1-3 days later I use that soup to make a really good cheesey rice and will serve it with meatloaf.

Ingredients
2 cups cooked white rice (You can use instant, long grain, the steam bags you heat in the microwave, whatever you have or like)
¾ cup reheated Beer Cheese Soup
¼ cup shredded cheddar cheese
¼ teaspoon kosher salt
chopped fresh parsley

Directions
Mix hot rice and beer cheese soup. Stir in shredded cheese, kosher salt and fresh parsley. Serve.

Sunday, December 5, 2010

Where I have been........


When I looked at the date of my last blog post I couldn't believe it had been so long since I had last posted. My defense? It's been nuts and even more so than normal. The picture above is Mickey Mouse which my awesome doctor drew on my cast :)

You all know the beginning of October I was suddenly down one employee which meant I had to work her hours plus mine plus do all the work she had been doing along with my own work. So my life became nuts. It went even more nuts when I discovered there was no system at the one office she worked at and I didn't. The account numbering system had no system. Instead of asking the patients for their insurance cards, old ones were used from the prior doctor which were wrong so over 60% of the billing was rejected. I vaguely remember posting on this before so won't beat a dead horse.

It took me a little over a month to get a grip on that office and it is still a work in progress although we now have more money coming in so it is supporting itself now. We will be meeting with a website designer to set up a website for it and our other offices since we want to slightly change the age demographics from 85 to a whole lot younger. Now I am not saying there is anything wrong with being 85 but it isn't conducive to a long term practice (over 10 of the first 200 patients have already passed away).

On top of the one office, the other 3 went nuts with surgeries and patients. Then one of my major girls went on vacation - I know - how dare she? Honestly I swear she worked her entire vacation putting in overtime in the 2 weeks prior to her vacation. The first 2 days she was gone things were going good. Then the norovirus hit me, my husband, my son, and our only other office employee all within an hour of each other. We cancelled 5 surgeries that Friday, my pre-op testing, all patients on Saturday, and we all finally surfaced to go back to work Monday although we lost a total of 50 pounds between us.

Monday and Tuesday then of Thanksgiving week were nuts with all 4 offices being smushed with patients. The day before Thanksgiving was my surgery. Now being sick just a few days prior, I was a bit worried my blood tests were going to come out where I couldn't have the surgery but I guess staying on a boiled chicken and carb diet doused with gatorade worked so I was able to have the surgery done.

The surgery which I thought would be an hour long turned into a 3 hour surgery. Seemed I had destroyed more tendons than previously thought. The Artelon used in the subtalar joint was the only thing working. Wish we could have used it for this surgery but I had too little normal tissue left and needed more strength so we had to use a cadaver tendon to replace tendons on the both the inside and outside of the ankle. The surgeon also found the peroneal tendon to be half bad so he took out that portion and replaced it with the cadaver. I now have 3 or 4 more holes in my ankle where the doctor drew the tendons through the bone to anchor them.

Once surgery was done, I went to the recovery room. Normally I am in the recovery room for less than an hour then on my way home. It was my full intention to be at the hospital at 5am for the 7am surgery and home by 10am. Well, I didn't get out of surgery until almost 11. Then I developed an anesthesia reaction. My core body temperature went down to 92 degrees. Yep this hot flashing lady that doesn't even wear a light jacket when it is zero outside is now shivering with an mattress warmer underneath her and an electric blanket on top of her. It was now almost 1pm and I was still in the recovery room and I began to hear talk of putting me into the ICU because my temperature wouldn't come up. I suggested using a warm saline IV (what we use in the ER when someone comes in with hypothermia). It worked and within an hour I was transferred to day surgery to wait until the spinal anesthesia wore off. I had quite a few incidents with overflowing the bedpan and one of my long time friends I went to nursing school with became more intimately knowledgeable of my private areas than I ever anticipated her ever knowing. I was finally able to leave the hospital around 4p, came home and immediately crawled upstairs to bed. (Should also mention I had to use a diaper because my midportion was still under anesthesia). Hubs told son he was on diaper duty.

Thanksgiving day brought just son, hubs, and I having a bland meal ourselves. Friday I went downstairs to begin the cappelletti and turkey to take to hubs' mother's home on Saturday. I had to make special cappelletti for FIL since he can't have any salt at all and can only have 6 oz of water the entire 4 hours he was with us. One had to keep a close watch on him because he would look around and if he thought you weren't looking, he would pour your water into his glass. I felt like the water police with him but I knew it was for his own good.

Finally last week the vacationing employee returned and life is starting to settle down again. I am still non-weight bearing and at the end of every 12-14 hour day I crawl upstairs and just go to bed and put my leg way high on the pillows and go to sleep. Yesterday after office hours hubs and I went to the Ornament Remembrance Service for my mother. I still can't believe how often I will just break down in tears. Yesterday's service brought the realization that I never coped with the May surgery - with the pain levels or with anything. I am doing a lot better coping with this surgery although I am working way too many hours for the foot. Should I feel bad that even with all I am coping with, that I am glad the employee that left isn't around? It makes me feel guilty sometimes but then I think of the mess I found and realize it is better this way.

So that's what I have been doing! What about you?

Sunday, November 14, 2010

Inspirational Sunday - Living in the Past


I bring this up because I am still trying to understand how I lost a friendship. So instead of living in the present, I am living in the past trying to figure out what happened. I came to the realization that one of the reasons I was having such a hard time with it was because we were in 2 different places. I am living in the present. She is living in the past. When that past changed in June, our friendship changed.

When one lives in the past, one might have stress, health issues, chronic pain, high blood pressure, depression, and a myriad of other things that can arise. People who live in the past hears negative criticism and feels threatened and becomes defensive. Focusing on the past allows your mind to respond automatically instead of thoughtfully. You will lash out in anger, back down in fear. You feel so totally stressed and overwhelmed that you become so focused on that response and feel the only way to get rid of it is to focus more on it.

In this case, her mind was focused on what was happening. The final office of her deceased husband's was sold and she no longer had any control over it. She was going through the pain of the loss but instead of realizing what she was doing, she lashed out in anger and became highly anxious. But by avoiding the negative feelings and situations that could not be avoided, she didn't realize it only magnified the pain. Her mantra became: "I am so stressed."

As a friend, I reacted by trying to reduce her stress for her. But that just made things worse. Even as a friend, I could not take away her pain which was the real reason for her stress. No one can but your own self. She had to accept that certain things were beyond her control.

So why was I the recipient of all her anger? Because I was still a doctor's wife. I still had everything and I was taking her last office. She didn't recognize that we were doing her a favor. We bought the other office based on sentiment and affection for her deceased husband who was our friend. She in turn, misled us on the not only the value of the practice but the value of the equipment. After 4 months of her feeling this, she had become destructive to the office and actually sabotaged the practice.

But one will never move forward if you are continually driving in reverse aka if you are constantly looking back on your life you will never move forward. Living in your past can be unhealthy. It can hurt others around you and yourself. There comes a time in our lives we all just need to move on.
"Look not mournfully into the past. It comes not back again. Wisely improve the present. It is thine. Go forth to meet the shadowy future, without fear."
- Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

We must acknowledge the past because it has played an important role in shaping who we have become today. Anything that we have any degree of certainty about has occurred in the past. We know what happened, who was there, how events transpired, and how problems and issues were eventually resolved. We exist in the present, but we are never quite sure of how the present will change from moment to moment, and the future is always highly uncertain. Therefore, it often becomes tempting to live in the past because, unlike the present and future, it is not unknown.

In order to live in the present, the way in which we live in the past is of vital importance. For example, the inability to let go of the guilt, shame, and pain that may have dominated the past is not emotionally healthy, and does not contribute anything positive to the present. However, when we learn from the mistakes of the past, and bring those lessons with us into the present, then even a negative past can serve us in a positive manner. Interestingly, it is also rather unhealthy to spend too much time dwelling on the past in a nostalgic manner. We may not be feeling any negative feelings about ourselves when we yearn for the past in this way, but it still prevents us from living fully in the present moment. It is far better to strike a balance between being mentally present for life as it continues to unfold while, at the same time, allowing ourselves to occasionally think back fondly on the favorable memories of the past.

The fact of the matter is that the past is gone. Good, or bad; it is incapable of returning, and cannot be changed in any way, shape, or form. Living in the past allows for the possibility that we will miss the abundant gifts and precious moments of the present. We do ourselves a far greater service when we accept the past as a series of positive and negative learning experiences which, when viewed with the proper attitude, will always result in our continual growth.
"The past is a guidepost, not a hitching post.".
~L. Thomas Holdcroft

Obviously I was still upset about the loss of the friendship. Delving into this article for Inspirational Sunday, I came to the realization that I have moved on. Our future is up to her. I am living in the present.

Saturday, November 13, 2010

Another Ankle Surgery


Yep, another ankle surgery is being planned as soon as possible. My last one was in May and I knew there was still too much instability. It was confirmed yesterday during an arthrogram. The 3 ligaments that stabilize the upper ankle joint are not holding it together. So this time I will get a cadaver tendon. I am trying to plan it so I am off work as little as possible even if it means putting a kibosh on Thanksgiving. Plus this time even though I will be in a cast, I won't be non-weight bearing and on the scooter but for one week.

The 3 ligaments that are still not working right no matter what we have used or done are the calcaneofibular ligament (CFL), the anterior talofibular ligament (ATFL), and the posterior talofibular ligament (PTFL). Guess the multiple ankle sprains over the years have destroyed the functionalability of those tendons and the rest of the tendons in my ankle are working overtime to try and hold my ankle up despite the orthotic adjustments and the braces I wear.

But the knee has totally healed AND the subtalar joint that was repaired in May with Artelon to plug the leaks worked.

Hopefully this is the last surgery :)

Recipe Thursday - Sheet Cake aka Brownies Texas Style


My family loves this recipe and my mom used to make it for every single get-together except Christmas when we had Christmas cookies and for birthday celebrations when we had white cake and fudge icing. I guess I will be the one making it now although I think every single member of our family knows the recipe.

Mix in bowl:
2 cups all purpose flour
2 cups sugar
2 eggs
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 cup sour cream

Bring to boil:
2 sticks oleo
4 tablespoons cocoa
1 cup water

Do not cool - pour into flour mixture and beat well. Pour in greased cookie sheet 11 x 17 x 3/4 inch or jelly roll pan. Bake 350 degrees for 20 minutes, no longer. Frost while warm.

Icing
Mix in bowl:
1 box powdered sugar
1 cup chopped nuts
1 teaspoon vanilla

Bring to boil:
4 tablespoons cocoa
1 stick oleo
6 tablespoons milk

Pour into sugar mixture and beat well. Frost while cake is warm.

Sunday, November 7, 2010

Inspirational Sunday - Friendship


I thought a lot about what I would post for inspirational Sunday and this topic kept coming back to me.

Many years ago I wrote this in my journal: 'Does this friendship strengthen me or weaken me? Is my day brighter, my life brighter and better because of your presence?If you strengthen me, support my best self, bring the best out of me, then you are a friend.'

I even remember why I wrote it. I had just been diagnosed with cancer and was hurt by the people who I thought were friends just totally ignore me. I was deeply heartbroken. I felt betrayed, stabbed in the back, and I was shocked, hurt and astounded. But then I realized that I really shouldn't have been so surprised. If I had thought about all the times I felt little hurts when I was with them, how insecure I would feel at times and how careful I was at other times, then I would have known this wasn’t a true friend. Instead I focused on the other factor of our friendship and I didn’t give the quality of our friendship enough attention. Looking back at it, all the signs were there.

When we are young, we want the feeling of being accepted, loved, and appreciated. We become friends with everyone but especially those with common interests. As we age, we whittle down those friends to those that allow us to grow and show us how to be the best we can be and totally support each other. This does not mean though that these other 'friends' won't stay around. Sometimes it takes a stress to the friendship that we realize who stays around and why. Those that are left are our real friends. I really think learning about who your true friends are is a growing up experience that never ends. I am 56 and still learning.

How many of you have had bad friends? I know I have. Bad friends can take on many forms. The manipulator friend is one that we don't always see right away but you will feel coerced into responding in a way that just does not feel right or goes against who and what we are. The judger friend is the friend who always feels the need to judge and criticize us and find fault in everything we do. The competitor friend competes with you even when you are not competing. There is nothing you can do that they can't do better. The opportunistic friend just takes. They will never do anything for you. They will only be around you when they need or want something. The friendship is all about what's in it for them. The energy zapper friend is self-absorbed and narcissistic. They leave you feeling totally exhausted. Then there is the gossip friend or the drama friend. They are only interested in gossip and tend to enjoy exaggeration and throw in little lies to liven up the drama. They live for the drama and if you are not careful they will compromise your job and reputation. I also had a few I named the negative friend. They are the ones who constantly tell you all that is wrong in their world. They are pessimistic and only want to hear what is wrong and will change the subject if you are happy. I have also learned that what happens in a friend's life can change who they are and turn a friendship into a bad one.

Recognizing true friends is hard. It is easier to see true friends of another. You can tell a lot about who a person is by the company they keep. But that is also true about you. Our friendships tell us about who we are. There is a saying that pretty much sums it up:
Through our lives we may gather many friends. It is a word that is taken for granted, and we really don’t consider the true meaning. If we are very blessed we will find a friend who seems to know what we are thinking before the thought is created. A spiritual bond exists which defies explanation. We feel each others joys and sorrows.

So what makes a true friend? I really feel true friendships are spiritual since one has to accept another as they are - in other words we have to first be a friend to ourselves before we can become a friend to another. Friends therefore require that there is a profound respect for each other and challenge each other to be who and what they really are without withdrawing our affection for them.

A true friend is also honest. They might not share all details of their life but they will let you know when something isn't right.

A true friend is also fun, interesting, and unique. They are not like you and they don't force who they are onto you. They share their interpretation of life with you. They let you be who you are and you let them be who they are.

A true friend is a fairly good listener and notices if something is affecting you. They can't read your mind but can tell if you are happy, sad, excited, shocked, or upset. They won't try to change what you are feeling but will support you in what you are feeling and talk to you about it. They also know when to allow you to go through something yourself and when to give or not give their opinion.

A true friend is supportive of you. They won't try to change who you are or drag you into things that they know will make you uncomfortable or put you in a compromising situation. They help you become the person you want to be.

A true friend is one that you can really trust. They won't steal your friends or your job or damage your reputation.

A true friend is one that cares about you - the real you.

A true friend sticks with you in good times and bad and is very loyal.

A true friend accepts you for who you are. They know how to deal with your quirks and faults and loves you anyway.

A true friend is also patient when you make a mistake. They treat you as they would want you to treat them. They will also forgive you when you hurt them. They know you at your best and worst. They also will believe you when you say something was out of your hands and not blame you.

Luckily, I found true friendship with my spouse. I also have a few people I consider true friends. I consider myself blessed.

"The glory of friendship is not the outstretched hand, nor the kindly smile...it's the spiritual inspiration that comes to one when he discovers that someone else believes in him and is willing to trust him with his friendship."
~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

"Never explain - your friends do not need it and your enemies will not believe you anyway."
~ Elbert Hubbard

"Many people will walk in and out of you life, but only true friends will leave footprints in your heart."
~ Unknown

“True friendship isn't about being there when it's convenient; it's about being there when it's not.”
~ Unknown

“You meet people who forget you. You forget people you meet. But sometimes you meet those people you can't forget. Those are your 'friends.'”
~ Unknown

Friday, November 5, 2010

Unfriended Yet Again


Yep it happened again. For those who didn't read my first post on it, here it is:
http://myviewallmine.blogspot.com/2010/09/unfriending-am-i-still-in-junior-high.html

So what was the problem this time? Long story but basically the employee I spoke of in that post was laid off for half her job with us and decided not to accept the part time position she had held for over 4 years. Was that my decision? Not at all. It was hers. Was it my decision to lay her off? Not in the slightest. Was this unfriending a 'mistake' like she stated had happened last time? Nope because her 2 sons also 'unfriended' me too.

Do I care? I am actually trying to figure that out. While I am sorry in some ways to see the friendship end, in other ways it never was if this is what it takes to end it.

All I have to say with what happened: there are 2 sides to every story. She gave hers. Some people will choose to believe only her without hearing the whole story. Some people will believe only me without hearing her side of the story. And if this can get between a 25+ year friendship, then it was never a real friendship to begin with.

This time I will stay unfriended.

Recipe Thursday - Creamed Corn


There is one dish I absolutely love that I usually only fix at Thanksgiving - that is my own version of creamed corn, made from scratch and definitely not low fat. I actually tried to lower the calories a few times and it lost its taste so much there was no way I would substitute.

It is a relatively simple recipe that I throw in the crockpot about 3-4 hours prior to dinner.

So put in the crockpot:
1 big bag frozen corn (I tend to use the corn I have canned)
1 full stick of real butter
One 8 oz package cream cheese
1 pint of heavy cream
1 ¾ oz grated parmesan cheese
1-2 tsp of sugar

Set the crockpot on low and stir occasionally until the sauce is thick. If it is ready before dinner is ready, just add some more heavy cream.

Sunday, October 31, 2010

Inspirational Sunday - Halloween


Today is Halloween and I bet you are all wondering how Halloween and Inspirational Sunday have to do with each other. I guess I would question my sanity too but when you no longer have children and don't yet have grandchildren, Halloween is a fun day. It brings reminders of past Halloweens and trying to judge the weather in picking a child's costume and be prepared to switch if either the Chicago weather turns hot or becomes snowy and cold. Yes, either happens in Chicago. The above picture is of my granddoggies - Brit is on the left dressed as a gladiator while Bella is on the right dressed as the Rabbit from Alice in Wonderland.

Halloween is actually considered All Hallow's Eve. It has grown into a major secular holiday in American culture. The purpose behind it has been lost - kinda like celebrating New Year’s Eve without a New Year’s Day. Take away the saints and our beliefs about the dignity and destiny of human beings, and the only thing left is pre-Christian superstition regarding the dead.

There is a belief among many that Halloween has come to signify evil. In reality, Hallow means holy and e'en means evening. So the word Halloween is a shorted form of All Hallow's Eve or the day before All Saints Day. Halloween can be a way for us to deepen our understanding of our faith.

Until the ninth century the Church celebrated the popular feast of All Saints on May 13th, during the season of joy after the Resurrection. This is the light in which we see all the faithful who have died, especially those whose witness to Christ is an inspiration. In 835 the date was deliberately changed to November 1 to Christianize the existing pagan time for remembering the dead—to bring light to the darkness, and hope to the most basic of human fears.

Before canonization was ever thought of, before the New Testament books even took shape, the human desire to remember deceased loved ones surfaced. And these were no ordinary loved ones, these were brothers and sisters who had died in Christ, as witnesses to Christ. (The Greek word martyr simply means "witness.") Their death was victory, not defeat; celebration, not mourning.

Today’s Christians sometimes forget that by the time of Christ many Jews, especially the Pharisees, had a well-developed belief in the resurrection of the dead, which included trust that the prayer of the living could benefit the dead. It was with this understanding that, 160 years before Jesus was born, Judah the Maccabee prayed and offered sacrifice for dead comrades who had sinned: "For if he were not expecting the fallen to rise again, it would have been useless and foolish to pray for them in death" (2 Maccabees 12:44).

For the first 1,000 years of Christianity there was no collective memorial for All Souls. Relatives and loved ones were remembered at Mass on the anniversary of their death, or until they passed out of living memory. But by the seventh century monasteries were celebrating an annual Mass for all the deceased of their order, an idea which spread to the laity. About 1048, an influential abbot chose November 2 to commemorate All Souls because it was an obvious companion date and extension of the Feast of All Saints. Both days are reminders that all of us, living and dead, are united in a living communion with Christ and one another.

So in effect, Halloween became one vigil for two feasts celebrated by the whole Church. Kids are more likely to excitedly put on ghoulish makeup to get ready for parties or trick or treat. Their instincts are right: Skeletons and jack-o’-lanterns and shocking costumes are very much a part of All Hallows Eve. It’s the adults who shy away from eyeballing their own mortality. The kids are right. Death is not cute. Halloween began with martyrs, after all, so strange makeup and skull masks are not out of line.

So how do we separate the symbols of Halloween? Do we stop serving cider and doughnuts because apples were sacred to the Roman goddess Pomona, and doughnuts were once set out as "food" for the souls of the dead (their circular shape indicating eternity)? Of course not. Our gratitude for God’s bounty eclipses all that.

What about trick or treat? In the Middle Ages there was a superstition that those who had died the previous year without being reconciled to you might rise to haunt you, appearing as will-o’-the-wisps or ghosts. Soon those who were living began to use the occasion for reconciliation. To wipe the slate clean for the coming year, they came, masked and unrecognizable, and boldly bargained for treats.

Halloween and its back-to-back feast days mean more than talking about our favorite saints who lived in another time, another place. It’s also an opportunity to talk about what’s needed for holiness now (perhaps even martyrdom now, sad to say). Do we "worship" or "adore" our beloved saints, as some non-Catholics think? Not at all. We honor them and learn from their example; adoration belongs to God alone. We ask the saints to pray for us the same way we might ask a good friend to pray. A favorite quotation about prayer begins, "Where two or three are gathered together in my name" (Matthew 18:20). The "two or three" aren’t necessarily limited to the living. It’s comforting to have friends always available to pray with you, a whole "cloud of witnesses," in fact! (see Hebrews 12:1).

Halloween also invites us to talk openly about death in a culture that labors mightily to deny it. Seventy-five percent of Americans do not have a valid will, much less a Living Will or an organ donor card. "If I die..." people say, instead of, "when I die." Do we think death is optional? Death is a fact of life. When St. Francis of Assisi lay dying he said, "Welcome, Sister Death," recognizing that death was just another creaturely thing in a world that would one day pass away.

Occasionally we must push the "pause" button in our busy lives to consider our own mortality with all its spiritual and practical consequences. The Church gives us two feasts and the whole month of November to do this.

Halloween is like our Mardi Gras before a very serious Lent. We should be able to laugh at the dark side and dress up in costumes and have parties. Let’s reclaim our heritage with all the story power, creativity and joyous good fun that we can. Let’s use it to help us become the saints we are each called to be.

Halloween is a victory celebration, after all!

Recipe Thursday - Stuffed Chicken with Roasted Fall Vegetables


I came across this recipe a few years ago. It is simple delicious but brie, chicken apples, and walnuts are some of my favorite foods.

Stuffed Chicken with brie, apples, and walnuts (makes 6 servings)

3/4 cup chopped onion
9 tablespoons butter, divided
1 and 1/2 cup chopped peeled apple
6 tablespoons chopped walnuts, toasted
3/8 teaspoon dried rosemary, crushed
Dash plus 3/4 teaspoon salt, divided
Dash plus 3/4 teaspoon pepper, divided
6 boneless skinless chicken breast halves (6 ounces each)
3/8 teaspoon garlic powder
6 ounces Brie cheese, cubed
3/4 cup cider vinegar
2 and 1/4 cup unsweetened apple juice, divided
4 and 1/2 teaspoons cornstarch

In a large skillet, saute onion in half the butter for 1 minute. Add apple; cook 2-3 minutes longer or until apple is golden brown. Remove from the heat; add walnuts, rosemary, and a dash of salt and pepper.

Flatten chicken to 1/4-in. thickness; sprinkle with garlic powder and remaining salt and pepper. Place apple mixture and Brie on half of each chicken breast; fold chicken over. Secure with toothpicks if necessary.

In the same skillet, brown chicken in remaining butter. Stir in vinegar and 3/4 cup apple juice. Bring to a boil. Reduce heat; cover and cook for 15-20 minutes or until a meat thermometer reads 170°.

Remove chicken to a serving platter; discard toothpicks. Combine cornstarch and remaining apple juice; add to the pan. Bring to a boil; cook and stir for 2 minutes or until thickened. Serve with chicken.

I always serve this recipe with Roasted Fall Vegetables and a salad.

Nonstick vegetable oil spray
1 1/2 pounds butternut squash, peeled, cut into 3x1/2-inch wedges
1 1/2 pounds rutabagas, peeled, cut into 1/2-inch-thick wedges
1 1/4 pounds red-skinned sweet potatoes (yams), cut into 2x3/4-inch wedges
2 tablespoons olive oil
1/4 teaspoon cayenne pepper
1/2 cup finely chopped red onion
1/4 cup chopped fresh chives
2 tablespoons apple cider vinegar

Preheat oven to 350°F. Spray large rimmed baking sheet with nonstick spray. Combine squash, rutabagas, and sweet potatoes in large bowl. Add oil and cayenne and toss to coat. Sprinkle with salt and pepper. Spread vegetable mixture on prepared baking sheet. Roast until vegetables are tender, stirring and turning occasionally, about 1 hour. (Vegetables can be prepared 4 hours ahead. Let stand on baking sheet at room temperature. Rewarm in 350°F oven until heated through, about 15 minutes.)

Transfer vegetable mixture to bowl. Add red onion, chives, and vinegar; toss to blend. Season with salt and pepper.

The perfect Fall Supper!

Sunday, October 24, 2010

Inspirational Sunday - Saying Goodbye


I have been really busy lately as you have probably noticed since there has only been only a few new posts.

We did reduce one of our employee's hours from full time to part time and she promptly quit. Interestingly enough, she blames the lay off on me, not recognizing the things she was saying did not set well with one of the doctors. But I realized that I would get blamed but sometimes I just wished she would have stepped back and really saw things and realized that as a friend, it was one of the hardest things I had to do. Maybe one day she will but in reality, I am glad she didn't take the part time portion now. At first I was devastated with the coldness but God always gives us the reason why something happens and he did with this friendship and lay off. The mistakes I have found are enormous and I basically have to go back to June 1st of this past year and check each and every entry. The money we had been paying her for cleaning the office was way overpriced since it took 2 of us 5 hours to clean the office the week she left. We went through 2 rolls of paper towels, 10 rags, 5 sets of gloves, and they were all black. The dust bunnies weren't dust bunnies but tumbleweeds. No wonder one of the office girls' allergies went nuts in that office. We are also learning of things she wasn't doing that were not in compliance with office policy so we have learned our decision, although hard, was the best for our office. I don't think the friendship survived but I think again about the definitions of friendship and realize why it would never have survived. Our relationship basically died the day her husband died 4 years ago (it was her husband and my husband and I that were really good friends). God did guide us in this decision.

I have also been dealing with FIL who has been in the hospital more than he hasn't the last month. We learned with this last hospitalization that his heart is only functioning at 25% and there isn't much left to do. But we needed to let our kids know and his wife know. So God led me to plan a get together with the kids yesterday after office hours and we all went out bringing him his favorite dishes: Cappelletti for dinner and German Chocolate Cupcakes for dessert. It wasn't on his diet but one meal that he enjoys when one is on their death bed is no big deal in the scheme of things.

We took pictures then left and took MIL to dinner. After dinner, hubs and I took MIL back to her house and the kids went home. We then sat MIL down and let her know that we had signed a DNR and that he didn't have much time. She actually wasn't that surprised. But it really made it more real for us.

As I sit and type this, I am remembering the book "The Last Lecture" by Randy Pausch, the Carnegie Mellon professor who was dying of pancreatic cancer and delivered a final lecture about how to achieve childhood dreams and how to say goodbye.

“Saying goodbye. It’s a part of the human experience that we encounter every day, sometimes nonchalantly, sometimes with great emotion. Then, eventually, the time comes for the final goodbye,” wrote Mr. Zaslow (a co-author). “When death is near, how do we phrase our words? How do we show our love?”


I would like to think we did it in a way that was best for him. I know I am comforted that we all had that chance to actually say goodbye and when the time comes today, tomorrow, or the next day, he will go in peace and although we will miss him, he will be a large part of our lives until the end of times. It was really nice to have that day with him, reminiscing with a dementia patient as much as one can, and laughing while saying goodbye.

And how blessed I am that God is with me every step I take.

Recipe Thursday - Pumpkin Bread with Pecan Crust (Gluten Free)


Note: I changed this recipe a bit from one I had found. I lightened it up a bit by substituting the egg substitute for some of the real eggs and low fat buttermilk for the real buttermilk. It did not change the flavor at all. I also substituted gluten flour for the all-purpose flour, making this a gluten free bread.

This recipe makes two loaves. I freeze the extra bread, tightly wrapped in plastic wrap, for up to one month. Omit the nuts or substitute chopped walnuts, if you prefer. Check the bread after 50 minutes of baking--you may need to cover the loaves with aluminum foil for the last 10 minutes to prevent overbrowning.

Ingredients
3 1/3 cups gluten free flour(about 15 ounces)
1 tablespoon baking powder
2 teaspoons baking soda
1 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1 teaspoon ground nutmeg
1/2 teaspoon ground allspice
2 cups granulated sugar
1/2 cup egg substitute
1/2 cup canola oil
1/2 cup low-fat buttermilk
2 large eggs
2/3 cup water
1 (15-ounce)can pumpkin
Cooking spray
1/3 cup chopped pecans

Preheat oven to 350°. Lightly spoon flour into dry measuring cups; level with a knife. Combine flour and next 6 ingredients (through allspice) in a bowl.

Place sugar, egg substitute, oil, buttermilk, and eggs in a large bowl; beat with a mixer at high speed until well blended. Add 2/3 cup water and pumpkin, beating at low speed until blended. Add flour mixture to pumpkin mixture, beating at low speed just until combined. Spoon batter into 2 (9 x 5-inch) loaf pans coated with cooking spray. Sprinkle pecans evenly over batter. Bake at 350° for 1 hour or until a wooden pick inserted in center comes out clean. Cool 10 minutes in pans on a wire rack; remove from pans. Cool completely on wire rack.

Friday, October 15, 2010

Recipe Thursday - Mexican Cheese Chicken Casserole


I don't know about any of you, but I love casseroles, especially ones I can make up before I go to work, then put them in the frig, then call son on my way home from work to throw it in the oven. By the time I get home, I have enough time to make a veggie or salad to go with casserole and voila, dinner is done without the hassle.

This recipe comes from a Cooking Light book but I modified it a bit.

Ingredients
1 cup fat-free, less-sodium chicken broth
2 (4.5-ounce) cans chopped green chiles, divided
1 3/4 pounds skinned, boned chicken breasts
2 teaspoons olive oil
1 cup chopped onion
1 cup evaporated milk
1 cup (4 ounces) shredded Monterey Jack cheese
1/4 cup (2 ounces) tub-style light cream cheese
1 (10-ounce) can enchilada sauce
12 (6-inch) corn tortillas
Cooking spray
1/2 cup (2 ounces) shredded extra-sharp cheddar cheese
1 ounce tortilla chips, crushed (about 6 chips)

Combine broth and 1 can of chiles in a large skillet; bring to a boil. Add chicken; reduce heat, and simmer 15 minutes or until chicken is done, turning chicken once. Remove chicken from cooking liquid, reserving cooking liquid; cool chicken. Shred meat with two forks, and set aside. (Note I have also used leftover baked chicken that I shred then freeze).

Preheat oven to 350°.

Heat oil in a large nonstick skillet over medium-high heat. Add 1 can of chiles and onion; sauté 3 minutes or until soft. Add reserved cooking liquid, milk, Monterey Jack, cream cheese, and enchilada sauce; stir well. Stir in shredded chicken; cook 2 minutes. Remove from heat.

Place 4 tortillas in the bottom of a 2-quart casserole coated with cooking spray. Spoon 2 cups chicken mixture over tortillas. Repeat layers twice, ending with chicken mixture. Sprinkle with cheddar cheese and chips. Bake at 350° for 30 minutes or until thoroughly heated. Let stand 10 minutes before serving.

Sunday, October 10, 2010

Inspirational Sunday - Fall


Fall is one of my favorite seasons but I do like the others for their own beauty. Fall though, has special meanings to me. I love watching the beautiful colors of the leaves as they start to change. The gorgeous colors stop me in my tracks and say stop, look, and listen. Those leaves remind me to take the time to examine what I really want in life and how I am achieving it. The color changes and their brilliance and beauty force me to reflect on the past year and the excitement I felt in spring when those leaves were just buds on a branch. Fall reminds me that in life there is birth and death and glorious colors of living in between.

This is one of my favorite quotes about fall:

“How beautifully leaves grow old. How full of light and color are their last days.”
~John Burroughs


How beautiful do we grow old? How full of light and color are we? How much can we learn then from those who are old? How often do we take the time to stop and listen to what they have to say?

I know that although my inlaws frustrate the h out of me, I have them to be thank for the wonderful son I married. I also know that they have taught me many things in the last 33 years. I love my FIL's gentle ways and although he can addle my brain after spending even an hour with his dementia, I still love how his mind thinks and how even in his dementia he lives in those gentle ways.

I know that although my mother frustrated the h out of me, I miss her each and every day and wish she was still in front of me to just hug and say "I love you" and "The person I am today is because of you. Thank you!"

“Autumn, the year's last, loveliest smile.”
~William Cullen Bryant


"Even if something is left undone, everyone must take time to sit still and watch the leaves turn."
~Elizabeth Lawrence


"Autumn is the eternal corrective. It is ripeness and color and a time of maturity; but it is also breadth, and depth, and distance. What man can stand with autumn on a hilltop and fail to see the span of his world and the meaning of the rolling hills that reach to the far horizon?"
~Hal Borland

Saturday, October 9, 2010

Grumpy - Can Relate


I was browsing the news trying to see what has been happening in the world since this past Monday when my world as I knew it fell apart. I came across this article. My comments are after:
http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20101008/od_nm/us_grumpy_odd
– Fri Oct 8, 2:01 pm ET
LONDON (Reuters) – Britons find being older than 52 is nothing to laugh about because that's the age when they start becoming grumpy, according to a survey on Friday.

The poll of 2,000 Britons found those over 50 laughed far less than their younger counterparts and complained far more.

While infants laughed up to 300 times a day, that figure had fallen to an average of six laughs by teenage years and only 2.5 daily chuckles for those over 60, the survey for cable TV channel Dave found.

Men were also found to be grumpier than women.

One reason for the decline in mirth might be the lack of joke-telling skills. The study found the average Briton only knows two jokes.

(Reporting by Michael Holden; Editing by Steve Addison)

Okay okay, I can totally relate to this article and totally relate that men are grumpier than women especially one I know very well. This past week my schedule has gone to working physically at all the 4 offices 12 hours a day and on my feet which don't particularly care for that and my sleeping time consists of a few hours a night. Top my working hours with having MIL in the ER Monday night (a story that needs to be told all on its own), FIL in the ER Tuesday night then finally being admitted at 2:30am Wednesday, then running out to see FIL after patient hours every day. Sleep time has been reduced to 4-5 hours a night. It does not make a person happy.

BUT men? Tired men = totally grumpy + the age factor = could be nominated and win for the grumpiest man on the face of this world.

Thursday, October 7, 2010

Recipe Thursday - Stuffed Green Peppers


This is one of my daughter's favorite dinners.

Ingredients:

5 Medium Green Bell Peppers
1 Tablespoon Vegetable Oil
½ Cup Chopped Onion
4 Tablespoons Chopped Celery
2 Cloves of Garlic, Minced
1 Pound Ground Beef
1 Cup Cooked Rice
1 Large Can of Tomato Sauce
1 Jar of Sliced Mushrooms, Drained
1 Tablespoon Worcestershire Sauce
1 Tablespoon Italian Herb Seasoning
½ Teaspoon Sugar
¼ Teaspoon Salt
¼ Teaspoon Peppper


1)Preheat oven to 300 Degrees
2)Remove tops and seeds from green peppers
3)Cook peppers upside down in boiling water for 15 minutes
4)Heat oil in large skillet on medium heat
5)Add onion, celery, and garlic. Cook and stir until tender
6)Add meat, cooking until browned
7)Remove from heat
8)Add rice, ½ can of tomato sauce, mushrooms, Worcestershire, Italian herbs, sugar, salt and pepper
9)Stir mixture until well blended
10)Drain peppers and place upright in baking dish
11)Spoon mixture into peppers
12)Pour remaining tomato sauce over peppers
13)Bake for 20 minutes
14)Sprinkle peppers with cheese
15)Bake for 10 minutes longer or until cheese is melted

Sunday, October 3, 2010

Inspirational Sunday - Architecture


Last night my husband and I had a dinner dance to attend. It was held at this exclusive place called Medinah Country Club. The dinner dance was so-so and food so-so. But the building was amazing and is the focus of today's Inspirational Sunday.

The main building was built in 1928 and is an amazing blend of 60,000 square feet with classic lines of a Byzantine-style, Oriental, Louis XIV and Italian architectural aspects which are actually characteristic of many Masonic structures. It was formed 3 years earlier by the Chicago Chapter of Shriners and originally named Medina for the holy city of Islam in northwestern Saudi Arabia. The place is actually famous for its 3 golf courses and originally had several bunkers built in the shape of a camel. The original owners wanted the club to reflect the history in everything from its name to its architecture. Designer Richard Schmid spent 2 years traveling the Middle East and Europe in search of inspiration. The result is a clubhouse that supposedly looks like a smaller version of the Hagia Sophia in Istanbul. The brown- and orange-brick building is three stories high and 104,000 square feet, with towers on the left and right sides. There used to be a minaret, too, but the top was knocked off by lightning and never restored.

The centerpiece of the building is the 60-foot rotunda. While the ceiling looks like a mosaic of cream, blue, orange, black and red tiles, it's actually hand-painted. The walls of the rotunda also are hand-painted, giving them a Byzantine flavor.

So you might get by now that the dinner dance nor the food didn't impress me. The clubhouse did. I love being surrounded by history. I loved just walking around and being magically pulled into the mystical and spiritual feelings that the different areas made me feel. I am always amazed that a place will do that.

Most of us associate certain emotions, energy levels, and even mental states with the various spaces in which we spend our lives. This is why for centuries, architects have recognized that the buildings in which we live, learn, work, and worship influence how we feel and act, setting the stage for quiet reflection, invigorating interaction, or inspiration.

The Medinah Country Club Clubhouse did that to me. It placed me in the past and I loved how the 4 different blends of architecture drew me into each and how the passion and spiritual feelings of each style came to life.

Here are some of the pictures I took:
This is a view of the entrance in the main rotundo:

This is another view of that entrance in the main rotundo:

This is looking up at the rotundo ceiling:

This is a picture of the ballroom we were in:

Saturday, October 2, 2010

The.Real.Me


I am so glad no one had a camera or at least no one took a picture of me that I know of.

Let me explain.....

It is slightly windy today in the Chicagoland area (50mph winds). I got up this morning and didn't take a shower or do my hair or put makeup on because I knew I was going to take a shower later for a dinner dance we are scheduled to go to tonight. So I just threw on some old clothes, washed my face, brushed my teeth, and in prep for the dinner dance and since my eyes are super puffy, I threw some Preparation H under my eyes.

Normally this wouldn't be a problem.

But of course, I became an interesting picture when I left the house to go to the bank to put in the deposit for the week. I walk into the bank where everyone knows my name (just realized what I typed there which has that song and now it's running through my brain).

But picture my hair standing up all over from the gale force winds we are having.

I pleasantly smile and say hi to everyone and hand them my deposit and say: "It is really windy outside. I apologize for my hair standing on end."

One of the tellers comes up to me and says: "Well, you hair is interesting but your eyes are more interesting. Did you do something?"

I am totally befuddled as to what she is talking about and said, "Well, I don't have makeup on if that is what you mean."

She said, "No. I mean the white under your eyes."

Now I remember.

Preparation.H.Under.My.Eyes.And.I.Am.In.Public.With.This.

Might.I.Say.Embarrassing???

So I figured I had nothing to lose by now and said, "Oh you mean the Preparation H. Well, I have a dinner dance to go to tonight and wanted to look amazing for my husband."

A male teller: "Preparation H? You put it under your eyes?"

Me: "Well, where do you put it?"

Female teller dying of laughter.

Male teller turning a really nice shade of pink and stuttering out: "Well, umm.... ummm...ummm.....well you know."

I decided to give him a break and said, "Yeah, I know.

So that was my interesting morning.... running errands with my no makeup, old clothes, hair sticking out like straw in every which way, and Preparation H under my eyes and people I know seeing it, and I am now humming the Cheers song "Where Everyone Knows My Name"!

And that folks, is The.Real.Me.

Friday, October 1, 2010

I.Can.Wait.


Have you ever known something was going to happen....planned it for 1-2 weeks.... then D-Day comes and something happens to change what was going to happen.... and then it doesn't happen and you are sitting there wondering why you got so worried about it to the point you were having palpitations and didn't sleep last night?

Yep happened to me today. D-Day postponed now to Monday which now will bring up new worries and things to plan for while dealing with 2 offices of patients.

Not happy. Wanted it done and over with today to have the weekend to recuperate for a really busy week coming up.

Now have to start my week doing what I wanted to do tonight.

Will.Be.Too.Much.Drama.For.A.Monday.

Thursday, September 30, 2010

Recipe Thursday - Beer Cheese Soup


I got this recipe from a friend and I love to make it on those cool fall or cold winter days.

4 and ½ cups chicken broth, divided
1 and ¼ cups cubed peeled Yukon gold potatoes
Cooking spray
½ cup finely diced onion
½ cup finely diced celery
½ cup finely diced carrot
1 teaspoon minced garlic or 2 cloves pressed
½ cup all purpose flour
2 and ½ cups milk
6 ounces of shredded extra sharp cheddar cheese
½ dry mustard
½ teaspoon Worchestershire sauce
¼ teaspoon black pepper
1/8 teaspoon salt
12 ounce can of beer (any brand)

Simmer 2 cups of chicken broth and potato in small saucepan for 15 minutes or until potato is soft. Transfer potato mixture to blender. Remove the center piece of blender lid to allow steam to escape. Place a towel over the blender lid to avoid spills and blend until smooth. Set aside.

Heat a large dutch oven over medium heat. Coat the pan with cooking spray. Add the onion, celery, and carrot to the pan and cook 5 minutes or until tender. Stir occasionally. Add the garlic to the pan and cook 30 seconds.

Combine the flour with the remaining 2 and ½ cups chicken broth and the milk in a medium bowl. Stir with a whisk. Add this to the pan and bring to a boil. Cook 1 minute or until slightly thick, stirring constantly with a whisk. Stirring constantly, add the potato mixture, and cheddar cheese, mustard, worchestershire sauce, pepper and salt and cook for 1 minute or until the cheese melts. Add the beer and bring to a simmer. Cook 15 more minutes or until thoroughly heated. Garnish with black pepper.

Sunday, September 26, 2010

Inspirational Sunday - Peace


This is a church in Colorado that is built into the surrounding mountainside. A friend of mine recently took a trip to CO and brought home this picture. I loved it so I asked her if I could use it in my blog and as wallpaper for my computer. There were a few other pictures of the sun shining through the church and the stained glass windows just lit up, kinda like a Thomas Kinkade photo or picture. One day I will visit this church myself.

The reason I asked to take a copy of it for myself: just looking at the picture, all I felt was peace (which was good after the week I had had and the week coming up - see previous post Busy Busy).

Peace is good. I don't know about you but I find peace hard to describe. I know when I feel it though. To me peace is those moments when I am cuddling with my husband and I feel love and contentment and God. Peace to me is also anytime I am with my children, or I am praying the rosary, or when I notice the little things in life. It can come over me even when I am doing nothing special but that feeling goes deep down into my soul.

Peace then is uncompromising (I can either choose to feel it or not). Personally I can't feel peace though when I want to be the person who is right or have my own way. I can't feel peace when I feel anger or am vengeful. I can't feel peace when I am being hurtful or when I feel justified in having the last word. I can't feel peace when I force my will on others. I can't feel peace and feel my way is the only right way to talk to God. I can't feel peace when I have to take a side in any conflict.

Notice how I am describing those times I can't feel peace and describing who makes me feel peace. Describing that feeling though is hard. It is a feeling of being in the moment. It is a feeling of being content with myself in my heart and brain and body. How I feel peace might not be how you do. Peacefulness only exists in you when you or I choose to feel it right now within our own experience while we move through the world. There is no other way to encounter it. Peacefulness then is a quiet, calm, chosen, felt-condition, resonating within our individual heart. Peace is also a choice and when we choose it as a part of us, we impact the quality of our thinking and our doing.

Peacefulness is an inner sense of calm - it comes from becoming still - in order to reflect and meditate on our inner wisdom and receive answers. A peaceful heart is one that is free from worry and trouble. It's becoming quiet so we can look at things quietly so we can more clearly understand them and thus come up with creative solutions. It is learning to live in the present.

End each day with thoughts of peace. Begin each day with thoughts of peace. Continue thinking thoughts of peace throughout your precious day and happiness will be yours.

When we are present in each moment, the past gently rolls up behind us and the future slowly unravels before us.
- Rev Richard Levy

True peace is found in this moment. Acceptance is the 1st step to inner calm.

Busy Busy


Sorry no post this week. Been super busy with inlaws then a seminar until yesterday. Although I had my laptop with me at the seminar, by the time I got back to the room all I wanted to do was strip and wash my face and crawl into bed. I think one night I was even in bed and asleep by 9pm which is early for a night owl like me.

I finished reading Lost in Translation and will be doing a review on it soon. Haven't read much this week except seminar notes.

This next week also looks to be busy dealing again with inlaws and an article I have to write for the doctor's state association about a conference call I participated in on Tuesday with CMS, and the fall newsletter edition to finish, print, then fold and stuff into 100 envelopes and get out for the state assistant group of which I was just also elected secretary. There are also the 4th quarter edits to download and distribute to the offices and a whole crop of new diagnosis codes to find and put into place by this Friday.

Hopefully I will be back to my normal schedule in a week.

Sunday, September 19, 2010

Spiritual Sunday - Seeing the Big Picture


Right now I am in the midst of reading Lost in Translation by Nicole Mones. There was a quote that I ran across last night in my reading that just struck me right in the heart and said it was perfect for Spiritual Sunday.

The worst failing of our minds is that we fail to see the really big problems simply because the forms in which they arise are right under our eyes.


Seeing the big picture is hard. I don't know about all of you but I have been in my own world lately seeing little things because that is what I can cope with. Handling those little things is about all I can handle. But those little things are hard to handle. What I failed to see was all of those little things were in reality parts of that larger picture all broken down and shattered into those small pieces. Putting them together would have allowed one to respond appropriately and see the big picture and thus solve them all in one clean sweep.

So I sat down and thought - what are the larger implications of my issue? How does what I'm doing fit into the Big Picture?

Is it really important to see the big picture? Yes it is. One needs to have critical thinking skills in order to move forward and so we can see the impact of our words and actions. Being able to see the big picture means having an open mind. I wasn't doing that as an office manager. I was trying to put out the little fires without ever seeing the forest fire raging within each of my employees or my bosses. But even more important, I was not seeing the big picture in my own health and life. I was trapped in handling each surgery, each problem with the inlaws, my mother's death, and had neatly compartmentalized them. But I wasn't living. I was reacting.

I had forgotten to see my big lifetime picture. All I saw were the little lessons and I was not coordinating those little lessons and using them to learn. Instead I was choosing to look at life from a more human and emotional perspective. I was standing in place without realizing what purpose those little lessons were in my big picture. I was missing opportunities and failed to see how my interactions with others effected or didn't effect them.

Looking back though, every once in a while I get into this rut and it is normal. Thankfully something happens to raise my awareness and I begin to see for myself what lessons I should have learned and begin to once again look at that big picture. Wouldn't it be nice if we could always do that?

But we can't. We are human. We are a maze of emotional, physical, and mental experiences that don't seem to have any purpose at all but in reality are part of that big picture. Keep your faith in yourself. Learn to take a deep breath, step back, and recognize and respect all those little things that are bogging us down so that we may once again look at the big picture and spiritually grow.

I know I am.

Saturday, September 18, 2010

Movie Review - Love Happens

This is the first time I have ever done a movie review. I had 2 or 3 cortisone shots (one in my knee and 1-2 in my ankle) and they are giving me the predictable reactions I usually have so I am back in bed for the weekend. I am catching up on some of my TiVo'd things and this movie happened to be one of them.

I loved the movie. It drew me in and kept me with it the entire time which is unusual for a love romance story. I love Jennifer Aniston (Eloise) and Aaron Eckhart (Burke) in it. Aniston is a really good actress and it shows in this movie. While I don't personally know her, I can imagine she is pretty much down to earth like this character. Eckhart was also excellent in portraying the deep struggle of a man coming to grips with his wife's death and the journey he has to take to face the truth.

Love Happens is that rare romantic movie with emotions other than love at first sight. It is not your typical love story. It is full of quirks like Eckhart as a best selling author of self help books with titles like "A-Okay", the quirky "A-Okay" sign he throws out, quirky dates (sticking gum on a wall or watching a concert in a bucket of a lift truck, and the quirks Eloise has (she saves her favorite floral greetings on index cards and writes SAT type words on hotel walls behind pictures - words it takes a dictionary to interpret them). I also loved the shots of some of the most photogenic spots in Seattle.

The movie works because it's all about getting in touch with whatever is holding you back and the director (Brandon Camp) takes very seriously the anger and sadness of his characters and the deep vein of grief that runs through a person.

The movie worked for me. I loved it and give it an A!

Friday, September 17, 2010

Book Review - The Watson Brothers by Lori Foster

I would like to make a comment before going into this review. I am not a typical reviewer. I review what I read - period. I purchase my own books and refuse to accept any author's freebie books - this way I can state without any guilt what I really feel about the book. I think I have said this in the past but I thought it beared repeating. My opinions therefore, I feel are more honest than a typical reviewer. I will tell you how I felt about the book and I will also not be afraid to tell you what I didn't like about the book. If a particular author is an auto-buy for me, I state that. If said author publishes a book or 2 I don't like and review, I will also state that and why I didn't like it but that doesn't mean I would never buy another book written by that author. It would take more than that to totally turn me off buying that author's books but I will tell you it has happened but I won't tell you that author's name.

Okay, on to the review:

I have no idea how I missed reading this book but this was the first time I read it. I am glad I did. But..........

I will be honest and state that The Watson Brothers are totally different than The Buckhorn Brothers. I didn't like them as much as I liked The Buckhorn Brothers. I read this series right after I had read the other so I didn't review The Watson Brothers right away. My first impressions therefore weren't that good. So instead, I waited to see if some time and and reading 14 other books put some distance and maybe a different perspective between the 2 series before I would reread the book. (I have had that happen with other series from other authors so I always give a benefit of doubt.)

That said, the time did change my perspective so I will tell anyone out there not to read them together. They are different. But a good different. I found myself attaching to all 3 Watson Brothers a whole lot more on the 2nd read than the 1st read so my review will be based on that 2nd reading.

The Watson Brothers are 3 short novella type stories in one book. I understand the one book is actually a reissue and all 3 stories have appeared in prior books (probably in those I haven't gotten to read yet).

The first story was My House, My Rules which introduces the oldest brother: Sam. I loved the title right off the bat (my kind of title - see the title of my blog to get my drift). This story is about 2 very headstrong and stubborn people (I can really relate to that). Ariel and Sam actually know each other (Ariel is Sam's brother's ex-girlfriend). Sam has been in love with Ariel since his brother Pete brought her home. Ariel has been in love with Sam since she was introduced to Sam. Sam is a strong alpha undercover cop though who refuses to get involved with any woman because of his job and with Ariel, he resists her even more because she is 12 years younger than him but that she was Pete's ex and he thinks Pete is still mooning over her. Ariel though decides to take matters into her own hands and purposely dons a very sexy dress and goes to a bar where she knew Sam had been going to. Problem is that Sam was undercover and Ariel almost spoils the bust. Sam takes her to his home (his big mistake) and tells her that he wants to have an affair with her - his house, his rules. Ariel goes along and they are both taken for one erotic hawt ride (pun intended). He quickly learns that although it was his house and his rules, some rules can be changed if they involve Ariel. These 2 people remind me a lot of my husband and I as we spar with each other verbally about as much as Sam and Ariel do and my husband and I end up pretty much the same way Sam and Ariel end up after one of those matches.

The second story was Bringing Up Baby which is about the middle brother, Gil. Gil finds out he has a toddler after a night of sex with the baby's mother while on a business trip (note this is totally out of character for him). Gil is a staunch, stiff, orderly, uptight person who is all into appearances (my term for him would be prick). His home is a designer's dream. But Anabel unexpectedly appears with his daughter, Nicole, and you just see the ice and stiffness disappear as Gil loses his heart to both Anabel and his daughter. Anabel is not the Nicole's biological mother (they were roommates and Nicole's biological mother left all of Nicole's care to Anabel). Anabel though is not the type of person Gil usually dates or is attracted to. I loved this story for the slow Tantric feelings that pull these 2 together along with their love for Nicole. I also loved how Gil changed into a hawt, caring man and father. I am still amazed how Lori Foster pulled off this short story and turned 2 entirely different people into hawt lovers and I was right there rooting for them to get together and it wasn't because of Nicole. I was also amazed at how fast she turned around my impression of Gil as a prick and I actually read this story twice to see how she did it. If you read closely you can see how she did it and I was really impressed!

The third story was Good With His Hands which is about Pete, the youngest brother. Pete was introduced a bit in the first book but he was young. This book has Pete grown up but without any clear goals. He lives next door to Cassidy and they are friends, neighbors, and co-workers. They are attracted to each other but Cassidy is a goal directed person and has a vision of her 'perfect man' and Pete doesn't fit it. One hawt hawt steamy hawt hawt kiss changes the relationship. I loved the hawt factor and both characters who are hilarious yet with all this hawtness exploding off the pages. I was reading this story after my husband had gone to sleep and I woke him up because I could not contain my laughter at a few of the scenes. I am not going to give you all the details about the scenes but one involves parents (had it happen to me in much the same manner) and another involves a tie and yet another involves the title (there is a reason for that title) and another involves payback from Pete's older brothers.

So I am giving this book a big thumbs up. I do wish each story was longer or each of the brothers had their own book and I do wish there was more involvement between the brothers in each story because I think the 3 of them would have played off each other nicely. Just don't read it after the Buckhorn Brothers!

Thursday, September 16, 2010

Recipe Thursday - Grandma's Fudge Icing


This icing is simply amazing and really really tastes like fudge but a warning as it does take quite a while to set up properly so make sure you have a really good hand mixer as it averages me 20-30 minutes for the icing to be ready to spread on the cake. My mother and grandmother always put this on a white cake so it does ice a 2 layer 8 inch or 9 inch round cake or a 9x13 cake.


Ingredients:

2 Cups Sugar
¼ Teaspoon Salt
2 Tablespoons Cocoa
¼ Cup White Corn Syrup
½ Cup Milk
½ Cup Shortening
1 Teaspoon Vanilla Extract


1) Mix Sugar, Salt and Cocoa together in a pot
2) Add Corn Syrup, Milk, and Shortening. Stir over low heat until shortening is melted
3) Stirring constantly bring rapidly to full rolling boil
4) Boil exactly 1 min
5) Remove from heat
6) Beat until lukewarm
7) Add Vanilla
8) Continue beating until loses gloss and is of spreading consistency (takes at least 20 minutes) - see picture above for how it looks when it has lost its gloss.

Monday, September 13, 2010

Unfriending - Am I still in Junior High?


It's amazing to me how a supposed 'friend' would go to such lengths after being reprimanded.

An email was sent as a boss asking employee what her hours would be the week he was not in the office as he didn't feel there was anything in the office for her to do.

Employee replies and gets angry that the question is even being asked. She wants to work the entire week, answering phones.

Return email. Boss says no that is not necessary. Employee was never guaranteed a certain number of hours per week. This question has been asked before, just this past July in fact. Employee was told to take vacation time or no hours then. Why does this week off make it different?

Employee is now really pissed. She sends a scathing email to boss. She calls all the other employees complaining. Calls me wishy-washy and a bitch. Unfriends me on Facebook. Yep - unfriends me on Facebook - is this Junior High? You have got to be kidding me, right?

Might I state said employee has worked for us for almost 4 years with no problems until this past June. Then all hell broke loose. She went from part time to full time. Work product went down by 50% and slowly declining from there. Reprimanded more than twice now. On the brink of being fired.

Now tonight all of a sudden she sends me a PM via facebook that she wants me to refriend her as it was a mistake.

I think I will wait. Not sure that is the right choice to make at this time. Funny thing is she commented on her facebook page about the email then a friend of hers (I can imagine what her version of the story is) said we would get our due and to forget us. So we are the bad guys?

Nice. I thought these people were my friends. Why does this crap have to happen? Why can't there be a separation between friendship and employee? It worked for almost 4 years. Why not now?

What does it mean to ‘unfriend’ someone? Are we no longer friends? My question I am pondering now is why were we friends in the first place?

Then I think of this quote: “stop putting up with people who are reckless with your heart”.

Yes, will ponder refriending you.

Sunday, September 12, 2010

Inspirational Sunday - Choices


Yesterday I pretty much had the entire day and evening to myself. My husband and children went to a college football game in central IL. It was just me, the 3 cats, and quiet so I spent the day pretty much organizing my computer but especially blog ideas into one area. Today as I was pondering what to write for today's post, I went to that folder and came across this beautiful and powerful passage ever written by a human. It is from a book I read called When God Whispers Your Name by Max Lucado. So why did that passage strike me and say you need to use this in today's message? I think because of some choices I will be making as an office manager that are going to be very difficult for me.

The choices we make hourly, daily, or whenever, define who we become. In the end, they “identify” us to everyone around us. We make the choice, and then the choice makes us.

No choice is so small that it shouldn't warrant careful thought. Very careful thought. One of the reasons for this is that we are – and always have been – creatures of habit. A lot of what we do on a daily basis is done on auto pilot. Have you ever driven to work and look up and realize suddenly you are there? These are routine fixed habits.

But are they good habits? Shouldn't we hold them accountable? Shouldn't we demand that our habits be the type of habits that make us better people? How are your choices impacting your life and your relationship with others and your relationship with God? Be aware of your own choices. They’re dictating your life – choose them wisely.

Choices
by Max Lucado

I choose Love.... No occasion justifies hatred; no injustice warrants bitterness. Today I will love God and what God loves.

I choose Joy.... I will invite my God to be the God of circumstance. I will refuse the temptation to be cynical...the tool of the lazy thinker. I will refuse to see people as anything less than human beings., created by God. I will refuse to see any problem as anything less than an opportunity to see God.

I choose Peace.... I will live forgiven. I will forgive so that I may live.

I choose Patience.... I will overlook the inconvenience of the world. Instead of cursing the one that takes my place, I will invite him to do so. Rather than complain the wait is too long, I will thank God for the moment to pray. Instead of clinching my fist at new assignments, I will face them with joy and courage.

I choose Kindness.... I will be kind to the poor, for they are alone. Kind to the rich, for they are afraid. And kind to the unkind, for such is how God has treated me.

I choose Goodness.... I will go without a dollar before I take a dishonest one. I will be overlooked before I will boast. I will confess before I accuse. I choose goodness.

I choose Faithfulness.... Today I will keep my promises. My debtors will not regret their trust. My associates will not question my word. My spouse will not question my love. And my children will never fear that their father/mother will not come home.

I choose Gentleness.... Nothing is won by force. I choose to be gentle. If I raise my voice, may it only be in praise. If I clench my fist, my it only be in prayer. If I make a demand, may it only be on myself.

I choose Self-Control.... I am a spiritual being. After this body is dead, my spirit will soar. I refuse to let what will rot, rule the eternal. I choose self-control. I will be drunk only by joy. I will be impassioned only by my Faith. I will be influenced only by God. I will be taught only by Christ.

Friday, September 10, 2010

Book Review - Lori Foster's Series - The Buckhorn Brothers

Lori Foster is one of my auto-buy authors. Her stories have a way of turning fiction into real life in your brain. As my gramma used to say: "She spins a good tale!"

I actually read this series a while ago but they were borrowed books from a friend. With my Sony ereader I now have my own copies so it was with great anticipation that I reread this series this past week. It still didn't disappoint and I still came away wishing those 5 guys lived just down the road from me. I highly recommend this series with hunky men, laugh out loud humor, and steamy love scenes.

Sawyer is the first book in the series and while it introduces all the brothers, the main focus is on the oldest: Sawyer Hudson who is one hunky man who is caring and compassionate and everything you would want in a man along with being a doctor. Honey Malone is a spitfire that was sick and while fleeing a dangerous predator lost control of her car and ended up in a lake. She was rescued by the Buckhorn Brothers but it was with Sawyer that she lost control of her heart. I loved that Lori Foster didn't turn her into a wimpy blond woman but instead enough backbone and stubbornness to stand up to the brothers. Especially enjoyable was one very steamy scene in the kitchen. I just wish these men were real and around when I was younger.

Morgan is the next book in the series and is about Morgan Hudson, a man who commands a whole lot of respect as Buckhorn's sheriff. Even as overbearing as he is, Misty Malone (Honey's sister) isn't one to back down. She arrives in the hopes of taking refuge with her sister. All the brothers took to her like they took to her sister but Morgan who thought she was a big city femme fatale who thought she should go back to said city and get out of Buckhorn. Misty had a secret though and the heat between her and Morgan was explosive. I loved the ice-cream cone battle between these 2 strong willed characters and the showdown in front of the sheriff's office and the whole town. I still laughed at those scene even though this is not the 1st time I read the series. I thoroughly enjoyed reading about how this tough guy struggled to realize that he's fallen in love. It is true that the bigger they are, the harder they fall.

Gabe is the next book in the series. Gabe Kaspar is the youngest brother and the heartthrob of Buckhorn County. He was a handyman or jack-of-all-trades-master-of-none type of man with no clear cut job and yet the fantasy of every woman in the surrounding counties. He loved his life doing things his way. But then a red-headed uptight prickly woman (Elizabeth Parks) came to interview him as part of her thesis on heroism. The problem is Gabe doesn't see himself as a hero and he is stymied on how 'Lizzy' is more interested in her thesis than in noticing him. I love how he bargains with her to answer each of her questions if she kissed him. This is one sensual Tantric read!

Jordan is the 4th book in the series. Jordan Sommerville is one of the brothers who is labeled as the pacifist, but it's known that he'll fight if he has to. His love for animals was a part of him and he is the town veterinarian. But he has a problem with alcohol and the people who abuse it because his own father was a drunk who left when he was a baby. One night he goes to a bar just across the county line to try to talk to the owner about not serving people to the point of excess and them sending them out on the road to possibly hurt someone when he sees a drop dead gorgeous exotic dancer (Georgia Barnes). When some of the customers try to touch her, he defends her honor and ends up in a fight. While waiting for the sheriff (his brother Morgan) to arrive, he's in the back of a squad car with Georgia. Even though she's not his usual type, he's immediately drawn to her and learns that she is a single mother with kids. In a matter of days he falls in love with Georgia and her kids and wants to be there for Georgia to ease her struggles. The problem is Georgia is thinks he is a clean cut man and doesn't want a man in her life ever again. I loved the clash of backgrounds between Jordan and Georgia and the way Lori Foster pulled these 2 people together in a passionate tension filled plot that is very unique and inventive.

Casey is the last book in the series. Casey Hudson is Sawyer's son and his story actually started in Jordan's story. We are left hanging at the end of Jordan when we last saw Casey facing the wrath of a very angry man - the father of Emma Clark who thought Casey was the boy who had gotten his daughter pregnant. But don't worry, the book picks up from that point and we find out that Emma was not pregnant and Casey had never even had sex with her although they were both really attracted to each other. She stays overnight but then disappears for 8 years when she returns to Buckhorn when her father had a stroke. Casey, now a successful businessman, soon learns that while it was possible to resist Emma 8 years ago, it becomes downright impossible now. But Emma did her best to resist thinking it was just leftover teenage lust. There are quite a few steamy scenes that will curl your toes and make you reach for your own honey or a fan or a bath of ice water.

I loved this book as it was a nice ending and wrapped up all 5 books. We got to update ourselves with all the brothers and their wives and their children. I just wish there were more brothers :) But I am sure I will re-read this series again and am glad I now have my own copies!