It is not the world that is shattering; it is your illusion of the world.
~Author Unknown
I love this quote as it helps me reflect and be grateful for what I have. It's been a rough month for me. First I lost my mother then I had my 6th surgery in 3 years(explanation another day), and now the family that I was born into have become people I don't know I ever want to see again. I keep saying this quote over and over thinking it might just be my view and it is distorted and thinking maybe if I look at it another way, it will change things. It hasn't yet so I keep rereading it and take one day at a time.
3 years ago I attended the wake of a friend's father. This man helped me in my early twenties when I was in an exploration of who I was. I had an emotionally and physically abusive alcoholic father...but through the help of this father figure, I was able to understand and accept and come to full forgiveness. He showed me I could love myself and by doing that, love others and have that love come back to me hundredfold.
I had always been religious (attending church every day and twice on holy days) but it wasn't until I went through this self exploration that I became spiritual. In many ways, this exploration helped me become a better person. He convinced me that every one of us has a story we can share with someone else. If we are vague about what our story might be, one of the best ways to find out is to keep a daily journal. I’ve been doing this, off and on, most of my life. I don’t set parameters with what I’m going to write; it just has to interest me enough so that I’m willing to expend enough energy to write it. The point is not to write something great or something profound every time I sit to do it — the idea is just to get something down on paper, or now, on the screen. Maybe one day those journals will be published.
Basically, I just sit and start to type — then it’s one word after the other. Whatever is on my mind will somehow find the light of day…which is the interesting part. Often, I didn’t know what was on my mind until I wrote it down.
I believe we all need to honor our own stories. When I take the time to listen, I’m often amazed at how interesting and how beautiful another person’s life is. I think we all need to practice sharing more of who we are. If we all learned to be good at both the telling and the listening, this could prove to be the beginning of the end of conflict between people and eventually, if we did it enough, even the end of war.
But then again I see how my mother was the glue that held my family together and think how will we ever get back together and do I really want to? I forgave but I haven't ever forgotten.
So today I honor my father figure who taught me that even when things around me are going nuts, stop and take a deep breath, and be grateful for even the littlest things. And right now, that is all I can concentrate on - God, the little things, my immediate family, and just taking one day at a time.
