Inspirational Sunday - Flight 191

Today's inspirational Sunday is dedicated to the 271 people who were killed May 25, 1979 when the American Airlines Flight 191 crashed just after takeoff in an unincorporated area near some mobile homes I happened to be at that day.

I can't begin to explain my emotions or feelings of that day. There are images that I will never forget. For years I smelled the engine fuel burning. I was getting married in exactly 3 months and supposed to be dreaming of bridal showers and looking for apartments to live in after we married, etc. Instead for weeks, it was all I could do to get up every morning and go to work. Every time I passed O'Hare Airport, I remembered, but in reality, to this day I have never forgotten.

You would think that as a nurse I would be used to a lot. I rode ambulances where we used the shovel many times. I worked in the ER where I took care of the wounds of gang wars from knives and bullets. I have put my hand into the entire belly of someone who had been shot in the stomach. I have been thrown up on, bled on, and had people die when I was there. But nothing could have prepared me for that day.

As I said, I had been working as a patient care manager of a health care home nursing agency and was admitting a patient who lived in that mobile home park into our care. Living near O'Hare one is used to the sound of airplanes taking off and landing. The mobile home area is right next to the airport so that noise was even louder. But that day, it sounded like an airplane was coming at you. We went outside and watched as the airplane crashed into the ground near us. I went back inside and grabbed my bag and took off for the crash site (approximately 3 mobile home lots away from where I had been).

The heat from the burning was like being in a fiery blast furnace. There was lots of smoke and one could barely see anything. I didn't care. I wanted to help the survivors. Once I got to the scene, I soon realized that there would be no survivors. Firemen started arriving. One of them gave me a helmet and gloves and I threw on a mask I had in my bag. As soon as the fire was out, we started searching for bodies. I soon realized I didn't need my medical bag. We didn't find one body. Instead we found parts here and there. I was given flags and assigned to a fireman. Every time we saw a piece of a body we had to mark the site with a flag. Time passed. Floodlights were set up and we worked into the night.

I had someone call my fiancee to let him know I was okay and where I was. I honestly could not leave the site. I was sure there was someone - just one person we would find alive. I helped search the surrounding area. But it was eerily quiet with only the sounds of emergency equipment arriving and the sounds of airplanes continuing to take off or land. I remember ducking and covering my head when I heard the first one take off.

It was around midnight when I went back to where my car was parked and drove home. My fiancee was waiting for me. I couldn't talk. I couldn't even cry. I just sat in stunned silence taking what I had seen and done that day all in. My fiancee finally got me to get up and take a shower. He took a picture of me and when I looked at it a few weeks later, I never realized how dirty and sooty and greasy I actually was. It just felt good to have his arms around me. I finally fell asleep that night. It took me a few days to process what happened and to talk again. I was a walking zombie for those few days. Thankfully it was Memorial Day weekend and I had that time off to regain a sense of my position in life. I did return to work on Tuesday and yes, revisited the family near the crash site.

Thankfully, today there are federal disaster teams that work airline crashes and other large-scale catastrophes. None of that existed at the time of the crash of Flight 191 although I know there were a lot of people helping at the World Trade Centers. For every fireman there, there was 1-2 people like me who were helping. For years every time I passed the crash site, my memories of that day crashed in on me. For years I would wake up every time I heard an airplane overhead.

Exactly 3 months later I married the love of my life and we flew out of O'Hare for our honeymoon. I went from a person who was comfortable flying to a white knuckled flier for a year until I had children. I didn't want my fears to transfer to them so I learned breathing techniques to relax. But I never forgot.

Yesterday after 32 years, a memorial was finally held near the crash site. The memorial came into existence through the dedicated efforts of the 6th grade class at Decatur Classical School in Chicago that began in 2009. They took it on as a project after learning their assistant principal had lost her parents in the tragedy and finally got American Airlines to donate $21,000.00 for the memorial.

My thoughts today looking back on that day: I cannot imagine what the people aboard the flight thought when they realized they were crashing. Thankfully when they took off there was only 90 seconds to realize that. I don't know if they even saw it coming. For some reason, them not knowing gives me peace. Working that crash site gave me a sense of how fragile life is. But I still remember finding the jaw with some teeth on it, someone's tennis shoe, scattered pieces of luggage, and I still at times smell burning fuel. I will never forget that day but living through that day also makes me the type of person I am today. I am stronger for living and experiencing it.

The pictures noted above are not mine. They were taken by numerous reporters that day.

Inspirational Sunday - The Brick

This is an email I recently received. The message is so important that I would be remiss in not passing it on.

The Brick

A young and successful executive was traveling down a neighborhood street, going a bit too fast in his new Jaguar. He was watching for kids darting out from between parked
cars and slowed down when he thought he saw something.

As his car passed, no children appeared. Instead, a brick smashed into the Jag's side door!

He slammed on the brakes and backed the Jag back to the spot where the brick had been thrown. The angry driver then jumped out of the car, grabbed the nearest kid and pushed him up against a parked car shouting,'What was that all about and who are you? Just what
the heck are you doing? That's a new car and that brick you threw is going to cost a lot of money. Why did you do it?'

The young boy was apologetic. 'Please, mister...please, I'm sorry but I didn't
know what else to do,' He pleaded. 'I threw the brick because no one else would stop...'

With tears dripping down his face and off his chin, the youth pointed to a spot just around a parked car. 'It's my brother, 'he said 'He rolled off the curb and fell
out of his wheelchair and I can't lift him up.'

Now sobbing, the boy asked the stunned executive, 'Would you please help me get him back into his wheelchair? He's hurt and he's too heavy for me.'

Moved beyond words, the driver tried to swallow the rapidly swelling lump in his throat. He hurriedly lifted the handicapped boy back into the wheelchair, then took
out a linen handkerchief and dabbed at the fresh scrapes and cuts. A quick look told him everything was going to be okay.

'Thank you and may God bless you,' the grateful child told the stranger. Too
shook up for words, the man simply watched the boy! push his wheelchair-bound brother down the sidewalk toward their home..

It was a long, slow walk back to the Jaguar. The damage was very noticeable, but the driver never bothered to repair the dented side door. He kept the dent there to
remind him of this message:

'Don't go through life so fast that someone has to throw a brick at you to get your attention!'
God whispers in our souls and speaks to our hearts.
Sometimes when we don't have time to listen, He has to throw a brick at us.
It's our choice to listen or not.

Thought for the Day:
If God had a refrigerator, your picture would be on it.
If He had a wallet, your photo would be in it.
He sends you flowers every spring.
He sends you a sunrise every morning.
Face it, friend - He is crazy about you!

God didn't promise days without pain, laughter without sorrow, sun without rain.
He did promise strength for the day, comfort for the tears, and light for the way.

Read this line very slowly and let it sink in...

If God brings you to it, He will bring you through it.

Please no more!

Yanno, I am really getting to be anti 9/11 - not the actual date but all the fuss with an incident that happened on that date. There were thousands of people lost, yes. BUT somehow life around you is so concentrated into this that all else stops. The news media are making this into a huge non-stop coverage every single year. One can't watch TV, even a football game without being consistently reminded of it. Frankly I wish they spent this much time on more important things.

What you say? Well, people died this week. People married this week. People were born this week. But instead every single time you turn on the TV, try to listen to a radio, or open a newspaper or read a magazine - all you hear about is 9/11. It's depressing. It isn't a memorial anymore but a continuous reporting of what happened one day on September 11th, 2001. To me the commemerations going on nullify anything else that happens that day. How do you think a child feels that happened to have the luck of being born on this day? How do you think a parent feels about losing a child on that same day?I lost a child on September 11, 1987. Have I shoved this info down your throat even though it meant a lot to me? No, I have not. Imagine how parents now have to explain the constant bombardment of news on this subject to children born before or after this date. Is it fair?

No, but it reminds me of how we view death now. Every time I drive down a road, there are markers, balloons, flowers, etc, marking the site where a car accident happened or someone died. Why do we feel the need to do this? I don't have an answer. I haven't. I have never forgotten Scott but I also don't dwell on his death either. I rejoice I had 9 months of holding and feeling him in utero and 3 months of seeing his eyes, hair, and caring for him. Scott was a gorgeous baby. So where did we go wrong in how we view death and incidents that have happened?

What about........
.....the thousands of people killed in this 'war' we have going on?
.....the thousands of people who are STILL MIA after the Vietnam War? No wonder veterans think we forget about what they do.

Who are the heroes in today's world? Not those who lost their lives fighting for our rights but those who happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. Yes, I feel for them and their families but I feel for those who have fought for us and their families more. They are the ones that deserve all the attention.

Now for those of you doubters, yes I have feelings. I am a nurse. I was a 1st responder when Flight 232 went down in Chicago, IL on May 25, 1979. I had a friend who was on the American Eagle Flight 4184 went down in Indiana on October 31, 1994. My sister-in-law was supposed to flying that exact flight but was grounded because of a cold. My cousin was supposed to be a flight attendant on one of the flights that went into the Trade Centers. I worked for years with the Vietnam Vets at Hines. Men without legs. Men without arms. Those men were left without people who care for them. I still have 15 MIA bracelets of men who are presumed deceased. Their remains were never found. My father-in-law is out of his mind with PTSD and has to medicated so he doesn't kill his wife or anyone else because of what he went through in World War I when he was 1 of 8 surviving in the Battle of Anzio.

I realize what happened that day is very traumatic. But I also realize that people need to move on. But we can't. The media won't let us. I have smelled charred flesh. I have ridden ambulances when we had to use the shovel - bet no one knew an ambulance carries a shovel on it. But every single EMT knows why it is there.

But where and when do we commemorate those other things? What of the families who lost people this week? Doesn't anyone realize how depressing it all is? Why is this the ONLY story that ever is told over and over and over?

I know death. I have seen death. I have been there with the charred remains of Flight 232. I worked putting bodies in bags. It traumatized me forever and is forever burned in my brain. I had loved ones die in 9-11 also. I have seen people I know who were responders die here in my Chicago burb from what happened there. No one is ever the same whether it was there or any other traumatic event. But this type of coverage without the other is just not right. I have lost 2 children. I know death.

If the news media gave the same attention to any one of the planes that land every single day with caskets covered in flags, or gave the same attention to those people who are fighting for us right now on foreign soil but because they are part of the Reserves, they aren't considered a real part of the active military service with the same rights, or printed the names of those wounded sitting in nursing homes or hospitals or just walking the streets because they can't hold a job, I would change my tune in a heartbeat. However, I know too many guys my own age and my children's age and my parent's age that are never ever thought of. Their names are not on any wall. Their names are never in any newspaper. They are the forgotten. Those are the ones I commemorate.

Just for you sceptics who think this was the absolute worst disaster America has faced have never looked at these statistics:
# people who died in the Vietnam War (1965-1973) 58,177 American Deaths
# people who died in the Korean War (1950-1953) 36,568 American Deaths
# people who died in WWII (1941-1945) 405,399 American Deaths
# people who died in the Civil War (1861-1865) 618,222 American Deaths
# people who died in the Revolutionary War (1775-1783) 32,324 American Deaths
# casualties in the Iraq War (2003-Oct 2010) 4426 American Deaths
# people who died in WWI (1917-1918) 116,516 American Deaths

But let's not stop there..............what about these:
# people who die from the flu or pneumonia each year? 65,313
# people who died in the crash of American Airlines Flight 191: 273
# people who died on American Airlines Flight 587: 265
# people who died in American Eagle Flight 4184: 68
# people who die from heart disease each year: 936,923
# people who die from cancer each year: 553,091
# people who die from diabetes mellitus: 69,301
# people who die from firearms: 28,663
# people who die from motor vehicle accidents 43,354
# people who die from renal failure 36,471
# people who die from septicemia 31,224
# people who die with AIDS in 2009: 1.8 million
# people who die from chronic lower respiratory disease 122,009
# people who died from the Galveston Hurricane of 1900: 12,000
# people who died from 1906 San Francisco Earthquake: 6000

Now the # people who died in 9-11? 2,973

Kinda makes it seem small in relationship to those other numbers? Why aren't there commemorations? Why isn't the media all over those numbers?

I commemorate the above picture. I applaud every single soldier currently fighting or serving our country and those who have before them. That is what we should be reading about. Not about one blip on the big screen of life.

Inspirational Sunday - Moments

I love that saying - We do not remember days, we remember moments. I am in a remembering stage today and have been all week. No, it is not because of 9-11. I actually think the hype of 9-11 is a bit much and way overkill. While every one's minds were concentrated on this, life was actually being lived. Life did not stop. We all went to work. People were born. People married. People had bachelorette parties. People died. That is more important to me than remembering where I was the morning of 9-11. I am sure much more happened that day but that.

A very good friend of mine died this week. Her illness was very sudden and as her son said at her funeral mass yesterday: The doctors said she had one in a million chance of getting this nasty disease (CJD). Her son went on to regale us with some memories of his mom. Some were really funny and some were thought provoking. The pastor went on in his sermon to talk about the moments of our own lives.

As I look back over the 57 years I have lived, I realize that I don't always remember the details of an entire day, but flashes of moments sealed in my brain. All week I have done that with my relationship with my friend - from the first moment we met till the last moment we talked to the last moment I saw her body in the casket.

But those moments that kept flashing through my mind this week were powerful moments. They were those moments that made such an impression on me that while some details were lost, that memory was firmly imprinted in my mind. Sometimes I wish I had recorded what happened, how I felt, and what lesson I learned. But then I would not have been living life in the moment.

So what is your big moment? How will you remember friends, loved ones, your life? What have you done that you have found significant enough to remember?

I don't know about you but when I remember moments of my life with my friend, it is like I am being transported right back to that time. I remember how sometimes she pissed me off so much I wondered why we were even friends. I remember how she was right by my side during some of my happiest moments and some of the worst moments in my life. She was indeed a person who was 'one in a million' who had the luck in life to catch a 'one in million' disease. I can just see her now - wondering why it couldn't have been at the penny slots or why it wasn't a million moments from now so she could see her 1st grandson born or why it was even her. But then I think again and can hear her speaking to me.....it's the big moments in life that teach us the lessons we will carry with us for a lifetime. She was one of my moments.

Not many of us can sit back and remember every conversation word for word, every place we went to and at what times, every meal we ate, and everything we watched on TV on one day over a week ago. What we do remember are the good and the bad moments that we made with the people we love and by ourselves. Truly at the end of our lives when we are gone from this earth that is what those who knew us will remember us for as well, the moments that we shared with them.

This is why it is important that you remember the profound effect you had on someone else's life. We need to hold on to the things we love, the things that have made us who we are, and who we never want to lose.

Listening to others speak about my friend and their memories of her, made that day so much more meaningful for her loved ones and friends. I am glad someone recorded it. Her grandchildren will love to listen to it one day to get to know the woman their grandmother was.

It gave me a closure that I needed. My friend was one in a million and gave me one in a million memories. I will never forget her.

We do not remember days, we remember moments.

Inspirational Sunday - Love

This past week was my husband's and my 32nd wedding anniversary. We long ago decided no presents to each other but instead, we would write reasons why we loved each other, adding another to each year we are married. I have every single one hubs has written me. I treasure them and will get them out on those days when I am not feeling much like a wife to him or him a husband to me. I feel sorry for those who have never experienced real love or felt it. There is nothing to compare that feeling to - the closeness, the security, the warmth in just feeling the love returned to you in spades.

Do you know who I feel sorriest for? People like this: children of a divorced couple who with the help of their attorney father, decided to sue their mother for not sending birthday cards with cash in them, or not buying them a dress they want, or sending care packages to the kids when they were in college. Well, I didn't always send care packages. I missed birthday cards or made my own when we were short on money. My kids didn't sue me. What a sad state of a family who could do something like this. I don't live that far from that family. I am so glad I decided not to build in that area. We looked. I didn't want my kids to turn out like those kids turned out or how a lot of kids in that area turned out. For those who don't believe me, here is the story as published in the Chicago Tribune: http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/local/ct-met-mom-sued-0828-20110828,0,7330681.story

I didn't have the best of family. But I know my parents loved me. I know they didn't always like the choices I made but I knew they loved me.

So what makes love not felt? I imagine a whole lot of things.

I am just glad I bask in the love of God; I bask in the love of my husband and children; and I bask in the love of my family and friends.

Inspirational Sunday - How to Not Keep Your Job

I bet you are wondering how a subject like 'How to Not Keep Your Job' has to do with inspirational Sunday. As I sit to write this, I don't know either. I guess we both will find out by the end.

Have you ever had anything on your mind but didn't realize just how much it bothered you when you thought you had 'let it go'? I have learned with myself that it is those things that come to me in dreams. This is one of those dreams I have been having.

I am sure we have all had co-workers who kiss kiss and be nice nice to their employers face to face and then those same employees say a whole different thing when their employer's back is turned. It is a bit easier in a larger office to have this happen. In a smaller one with 3-4 employees total and that includes the employer, it is harder.

As the wife of the boss and co-worker to our employees, I have had this type of attitude many many times. I have always tried to have an open communication and resolve problems as they come up. Are we always at our best? No and I don't think any boss expects you to be.

At the heart of the relationship between employer and employee is the duty of mutual trust and confidence. The assumption of loyalty means that if either party behaves in a way which is likely to damage the relationship, the other party is entitled to treat the contract as at an end. Therefore, if you make nasty remarks about your employer, you could face disciplinary action or even find yourself dismissed for a serious breach. In the current economic climate, it is therefore more important than ever to be careful about what you say. In our field of medicine, it is even more important with HIPAA or how we keep our patient's information private. A breach of this would be immediate grounds for termination. Theft would be another.

With the growth of social networking sites, bad mouthing your boss in a public manner especially when you are 'friends' with said boss, will surely get a rise. It is way too easy for employees to vent online. I think we/they forget that others are reading what they are writing. However, if you do put your opinions on the web, remember that the internet is a public forum. It is surprising how often people adopt a false sense of security and believe that their comments are being made in private. And don't believe the myth that it makes a difference whether the comments you make are outside of work hours or on your home computer. It doesn't.

Thus there comes that responsibility and mutual respect and trust. Last year my husband and I purchased an office from a friend. We relied on the information given to us by our employee who was also an employee of the friend. We learned a huge lesson: Never do business with friends! The employee had a vested interest in that her other employer still owed her money on his purchase of the office. The office statistics did not even come close to matching what was still owed her. So said person manipulated the statistics. We trusted those. We purchased the office based on those false statistics. We had no reason to not trust the data. We later learned the stats were so highly inflated we purchased the practice for over $50,000.00 more than what we should have. Lesson earned.

I fully believe in karma. What goes around comes around. Said employee was terminated. Why? Not because of the manipulation of the statistics since we actually didn't know then. It was for quite a few reasons. Friendship and business have to maintain a degree of division. I allowed some business to enter our friendship. I shouldn't have. I felt bad that her husband died. I felt bad that all of a sudden her life turned upside down and instead of being an employer she was now an employee for the very same offices she had been in charge of for over 30+ years. In a lot of ways I was wrong. Somewhere the friendship ended and this other relationship started - a relationship where there was no trust and no mutual respect and no personal responsibility.

But what are some of the main things to keep in mind:
1. Don't take business records. Don't email information to your own email. Don't even take stamps, pens, folders, paper clips, white-out. Don't you think people might notice why an office that was supposed to be fully functioning is suddenly out of all these supplies?

2. This goes along with the above. Don't sabotage records. When we finally received the financial data, we learned about the manipulation. Do you think we would never notice after all the bad-mouthing you did about us? That just made us not trust you. That non-trust made us get the data and check. Ever wonder why you don't get a glowing reference and only a verification of employment years? Karma.

3. Directing clients to the other owner. Did you think that we would not notice the fact that most of the patients were directed to the other owner? This was another reason why you could be let go. I am constantly amazed at how employees don't think we employers would ever find out. Do they really think we are that dumb or not have a handle of what is going on in the office? We had already determined what you did prior. This was why there was no notice given - we were too afraid of what you would do once you knew you were terminated. We could have sued you. We didn't. Be thankful.

4. Bad-mouthing your employer and blaming all of your problems on them is another way of how not to keep your job. Do you really think the employer wouldn't find out? Did you ever think about the position you put the other employees in? I would like to think we have an open relationship with all our employees. I think we definitely do now which is why I hesitate adding another person. The taste in everyone's mouths from the old employee is still there. Nothing compounds these hard feelings like an employee who badmouths the former employer on the way out the door or even after they leave.

5. This is an even better one we found out after the employee left and after they found a new job - one in which they shared information and data about us in a demeaning way, deliberately twisting information. But it didn't work. It just gave the new employer reason to not trust you. Remember the old adage: If you don't have something nice to say, don't say anything at all. This is especially true in business.

6. Over the years we have let quite a few employees go. I am always amazed at how they think we won't change the locks, or passwords, and especially not have in place some type of security system. Yes, we know it was you trying to access our data. That is why we had to get an attorney for you not to have access to our accounts. What do you think your current employer thinks about us having to do that? It just turns around and bites your rear.

As a business owner, I have learned to let employees rant. Take the high road. Bad employees end up discrediting themselves. Who wants to listen to a fellow employee complain about her former employer? Most people are going to think he/she should move on. If you feel you have to do something, you could make your employees aware of your side of the story so they can combat any rumors going on. One of the really annoying things about terminations I found out 20 years ago is sometimes you'll get an employee who complains loudly about being "unfairly" treated, telling coworkers the firing came out of nowhere and had no grounds, while you know her performance was abysmal and she was given numerous warnings and chances to improve. Since very few people tell their coworkers, "Wow, I'm really doing a bad job" or "I did get three warnings before they let me go," the fired person's coworkers often have no idea that the firing was handled fairly and was for good cause ... and because of privacy concerns, the manager usually isn't going to announce the details, so coworkers often hear just one, twisted side of the story. If your remaining employees know the company to be fair, that personal experience is going to carry more weight than the rantings of one disgruntled former employee.

So what does one do now? I have learned through writing this that I have to get rid of my anger. Anger is physically harmful. I recognize now there was never a friendship based on my definition of a friendship. I learned to not mix friendship with business. Plus most important of all, I learned that I am still learning.

What does the terminated employee do now? I was once terminated too. It is not something that has happened to only you. Recognize why you are angry. You did not have a right to the job you held. It was a privilege given to you by the employer. You chose the life of working in a corporation for someone else. Getting laid off or terminated is one of the possible consequences of that decision. If you don't like the potential consequences (and everything has potential consequences), chose another path. Don't allow your angry emotions to rule you when one of the very real potential consequences of being an employee comes about. That job was not your right. You weren't entitled to it. It is hard to do but you do have to try.

Accept this time as a gift. This is a great gift from the Universe, whether you realize it or not. It is your forced chance to re-evaluate your life and see if you need to travel some different roads. Rather than being angry about this, be grateful to God or the Universe or whatever that you have been given this chance. I did. I re-evaluated my life and went into a different direction that was more what I wanted to begin with. I've known lots of people in life who haven't been given this kick in the ass, and they have retired frustrated and depressed. They have heads full of regrets and wishes that they are too old to do. Don't make this into your mantra. You have been given this opportunity while you're still young enough to actually do those things you have been wishing to do.

Look at life a bit differently. Let go of your anger. Get creative. You'll be better for it at the end. Last night I was saying to my husband that I don't feel we have "JOBS". I enjoy my work. I never recognize that I have worked 14 hours until the end. But I will turn around the next day and go into work and enjoy my day. It will be different in some ways but the same in others. I enjoy seeing different people. I can still dislike statement days. I can still dislike some patients. I can still dislike or disapprove of how another employee handles something.

Now I understand why I had to write this. At the end of the day, I can honestly state I love my job. Can you?

Thank Goodness for Friends

I haven't blogged in a bit - too busy renegotiating office leases for 3 of the offices and talking buy-out of an office with the doctor that we went in with last year. He wants it. We are tired and to us that's fine. Now we are working out the details.

So bet you are wondering why the title now............

Well, if not for friends I wouldn't have anyone but my husband and kids and animals. Family? Can take a flying leap. There has always been a tentative relationship between me and my family and what was there, vanished after my mother died. Seems I can't do anything right since then. I didn't realize how much of a buffer she was.

I realize that as each decade passes, I tweak my understanding and memories. Our minds find explanations that a younger age probably I would have seen it in a different way. The claims that two people being witness or seeing the same thing happen 10, 20, or even 50 years later will remember it totally different is absolutely true. In some ways, I wish my mother had not been the buffer. I look back and realize that my dad was abusive - some physical but mostly verbal, emotional, and mental. Loving and forgiving someone though doesn't protect us from who they are, how they behave, or any danger they pose to us. I have a right to protect myself from that abuse no matter how the abuser is related to me.

My mom acted as the buffer between my father and I. I didn't realize just how much until after she died. The abusive personality that my father has will always be there. He will never ever accept personal responsibility for his behavior.

This past weekend was my family's family reunion - 3 days of hell cooped up in a 10 bedroom farmhouse my parents rented out for a 3 day weekend for the next 10 years. I wasn't supposed to be at this one. I was supposed to be in Boston at a seminar and taking a vacation of 5 days with my husband. My husband and I decided to postpone not only the trip to Boston but the extra 5 days. This way we could attend both of our family's reunions - mine on Saturday and his on Sunday.

Last Thursday plans got changed when a patient came in with a really bad broken toe - she needed surgery. The only time I could get was Saturday morning. So we said fine - we would just leave and drive the 3 hours to the reunion after the surgery and although we wouldn't be there by lunch it would be close.

Best laid plans.....a perfect storm set up across Chicago and our town. It dumped 7.71 total inches of rain on us, leaving us without power and gas. No power also meant no water or toilets for those on well and septic which we are. It took my husband an hour to drive the 10 minute usual drive to the hospital to do the surgery. Everyone there was late. We had already been up all night without power running our generator. The absolute last thing we wanted to do was drive 3 hours. Plus there were more storms coming in. Now who in their right mind would leave their house to flood just to attend a reunion?

I didn't. I couldn't do the drive by myself and hubs needed to be here to run the generator. So I called my dad and told him how much rain we got and how we didn't have power and how more thunderstorms were coming in. He called me a liar and to come up with a better excuse than that.

I very politely told my father to go borrow one of his grandkids computers and look up either The Chicago Tribune or The Daily Herald and verify that info himself and then I thanked him. Yep I thanked him for showing me his true colors and how far we really haven't gone and how far we would ever go.

The family's decision for Christmas because I wasn't there for the vote: they are having Christmas on Monday the 27th and I am to make my usual turkeys and hams and dressing.

I think they will be going hungry. I won't be there.

Family? I have none except my husband and kids. Friends? I have in abundance and they are more family to me than my own family ever thought of being.

I.Heart.My.Friends.