Well I am really back :)

This time I will be back. It has been a roller coaster ride even since my last post in October 2012. Yes all those things prevented me from blogging until October but I added a whole zillion new ones. Up to October, the things that prevented me from blogging: 1. Shingles 2. New step-mom I absolutely adore! 3. IVF and infertility - bet you are wondering on that one :) 4. Work 5. More work 6. Work employee problems 7. Marital work problems 8. In-law health issues 9. My left knee problems and my continued right ankle problems 10. A horrible horrible drug called Cymbalta Now I add: 11. More work 12. Going to be a grandmomma 13. Baby showers 14. Employee problems that resolved all by itself 15. Interviewing and hiring new employees 16. No more marital work problems - it was caused by ...... 17. Still have the left knee and right ankle problems that actually ..... 18. Death of a beloved granddoggie 19. New granddoggie And finally 20. Like the Midwest weather.....wait one day or half day and my life changes........ I will get to it all and explain but in the meantime just rejoice I am possibly really back :)

I.AM.BACK

Yes I am back. It has been an interesting 'few' months to say the least. I will catch you up as I have time. Just a few of the things that prevented me from blogging: 1. Shingles 2. New step-mom I absolutely adore! 3. IVF and infertility - bet you are wondering on that one :) 4. Work 5. More work 6. Work employee problems 7. Marital work problems 8. In-law health issues 9. My left knee problems and my continued right ankle problems 10. A horrible horrible drug called Cymbalta I will get to it all and explain but in the meantime just rejoice I am back :)

Inspirational Sunday - Advent and Preparing for CHRISTmas

Today is the 4th Sunday of Advent. I love this Sunday of Advent. It is rather unique I think in that it is a break in the otherwise penitential season of Advent. The vestments today will be rose, as they are on Gaudete Sunday in Advent, and flowers may adorn the Altar. This day is called "Laetare Sunday" (also "Rose Sunday" ), and takes its name from the opening words of the Mass, the Introit's "Laetare, Jerusalem": Today we light the what is called the 'Angel's Candle' and are reminded of the heavenly hosts that proclaimed Christ's arrival. It is usually a purple candle and today as the 'Angel's Candle' is lit, we are reminded there is a King's birth the angels are announcing. We are waiting to welcome Christ into our world.

To me, Advent and the Christmas season is not just a celebration of His birth. We are not really re-enacting an event that happened with camels and a crèche two thousand some years ago. Instead we are using this time to open ourselves to Christ once again – to make ourselves ready to receive the savior of the world into our hearts, and to anticipate his coming at the end of time. We are prepare his way.

Remember it is CHRISTmas that we will be celebrating. Remember the CHRIST in Christmas.

Inspirational Sunday - Family and Holidays Part 2

So this is part 2 of the Family and Holiday post. I thought since I haven't posted since then I would give everyone a reason why I haven't been here to post.

Thanksgiving was interesting to say the least. Hub's father had no clue where he was or who he was with and all he wanted to do was go home although he has no clue where home is. He barely made it out of his dementia home and into his own home and back and was so confused when he was there that I am thinking that was the last time we will take him out of his home. He grew up making cappelletti and didn't even know what they were when a bowl of them was placed before him. Very sad day for all of us to realize just how much he has declined not only in health but mental acuity.

The turducken was delicious. Daughter of course wouldn't even try it but that is typical for her. It had the word duck in it so therefore she determined it was inedible. Tis okay, the rest of us enjoyed it. That is except for son who came down with a 3 day intestinal flu. He enjoyed eating the leftovers though.

The next day we went to my dad's where we were greeted with the newest person he was dating. She is a widow who never had kids so being in a crazy house with 25 people running around was probably total chaos for her. She handled it pretty well until she was told there was 19 missing. I think she almost lost it then. My one sister stayed mainly in the kitchen and away from her and the rest of us. She is just not prepared for my dad to move on with his life. I don't think she will ever be though. We did end up staying a bit longer than I had planned but my dad was on his best behavior with his girlfriend there so there was none of his usual taunting and backhanded comments he usually spouts.

Now I am preparing for Christmas. Have the grocery list down. Shopping - did a little on the internet but have to return most because daughter's inlaws have deemed it necessary to take everything I told her I was buying for both kids to purchase it herself. I should know better by now. She has done this repeatedly. Telling daughter to make 2 lists isn't working either. So am thinking gift cards are looking better and better.

We finally sold the 4th office. Hubs wanted to replace the hours we were working there with increasing our hours at our offices and I put my 2 cents in and said absolutely not. I can't handle working like that with the holidays. But things are not going well with the sale. Everything had been worked out prior and what was left we discussed at the sale. First they shorted us 30 grand in the sale. Now they have not allowed us access to the database for me to finish the AR and have locked us out of the bank account. We sent them a certified letter this past week to either do what was agreed upon and the rest of the money be given to us or they were in violation of the terms of the sale. So we shall see.

Still having problems with my one employee. It's sad because she was a longtime patient before she started working for us. But her attitude lately is getting worse. She is now into telling me what is proper or not (my having physical therapy in the office after office hours is just one of her pet peeves). I had to write her up this week. Hopefully that will work.

Today is the 3rd Sunday of Advent. The word Advent comes from the Latin word meaning coming - a time of preparation for the celebration of the Nativity of Jesus at Christmas. It is the beginning of the Western liturgical year and commences on Advent Sunday, called Levavi. The theme of readings and teachings during Advent is often to prepare for the Second Coming while commemorating the First Coming of Christ at Christmas. With the view of directing the thoughts of Christians to the first coming of Jesus Christ as savior and to his second coming as judge, special readings are prescribed for each of the four Sundays in Advent.

Today is Gaudete Sunday which is the Third Sunday of Advent. It gets its name from the Introit for Gaudete Sunday, in both the Traditional Latin Mass and the Novus Ordo, which is taken from Philippians 4:4,5: "Gaudete in Domino semper" ("Rejoice in the Lord always"). The 3rd candle on the Advent Wreath is lighted along with the other 2. The candle lit today is called the 'Shepherd's Candle'. We are reminded that God sent His angels to proclaim His arrival. The candle is usually pink or rose in color to represent God's love and faithfulness.

Inspirational Sunday - Family and Holidays

When I was young, I used to love holidays. I loved the excitement. I loved decorating. I loved buying people what they wanted and even finding things they didn't put on their 'list' but I knew they would love.

Problem is, I grew up. Now working 6 days a week with a right ankle that hurts and a left knee that doesn't like any weight on it, combined with family that I really don't even want to see anymore, holidays have become cumbersome and a burden.

Today I made my grocery list. After 33 years, all of a sudden my sisters have decided to have Thanksgiving at my dad's. Was I copied on the email discussing this? Nope. All of a sudden I receive an email with the final facts and who is bringing what. Did anyone remember I have a wheat allergy and eat gluten-free? Nope. There is nothing on the list I can eat. My father calls me today and asks me how many he is to expect at his house. I stated I don't know. I didn't plan it. He said well the place where he was to get the pulled pork has been closed. The guy who owns it has been in ill health and he thinks it is now closed. He wanted to know if I thought it was okay to change where he got the pulled pork and to remind him how many were coming. I said I didn't know but would call one sister who was doing the organizing. So I did. I got yelled at for interfering. I said fine and handle it and hung up.

So I get a phone call back from my father. I told him to call my one sister and she had stated that you and her had talked last night and according to her, discussed everything and therefore for me to butt out. So I am butting out. Call her.

Why does this happen? Why are there people who ruin the holiday for others? But better yet, why am I allowing them to upset my plans and me?

Just last week I said to see the positive in the negative. I know this is a test. I just don't know the answer yet. All I want to do is do what I had planned and not even go to my dad's. I don't need this aggravation.

Is this what holidays become after one grows older? Why do all I see is more work?

So I will leave this post and find my positive. Wish I could make the turkey and do what Maxine suggests and stuff it with Prozac!

Inspirational Sunday - Turning Negative Thoughts into Positive Ones

I read this yesterday at a really great website http://greatday.com/:

Put your heart in what you do

If you’re making excuses for failure, it probably means you don’t really want to succeed. When you’re focused on what’s holding you back, it may mean that your heart is not really in the effort to move forward.

Instead of seeking to explain your failures, take an honest look at your intentions. Is there something else you could be doing that would inspire you toward a more positive and effective focus?

The obstacles you face may not be your fault. Yet when you promote and defend them, you give them more power than ever.

When you find yourself sabotaging your own efforts in this way, it’s time to reconsider those efforts. Either find a way to positively invest in what you’re doing or find a way to move on.

You have the power to make things happen and to succeed in the face of even the most difficult obstacles. To fully access that power, you must be doing what truly matters to you.

Instead of finding new excuses for your failures, look for new reasons to succeed. Truly put your heart in what you do, and what you do will do great.

— Ralph Marston

I don't know about any of you but I talk to myself all the time. I plan out conversations in my head that I will never end up having. I write letters to people in my journal I have no intention of ever mailing. Why?

I call it keeping a log of my positive and negative mental chatter. I will state that I don't always remember what some of the conversations I have with myself or all of the details since I only journal write at night, but I do try to remember the why and what was going on that I even needed to have the mental chatter.

For those of you who don't know what mental chatter is, I define it as talking to myself in my own head and it never goes out my mouth. I am sure everyone does it. I can't be the only one. I mean how many of you sit and think to yourself "What a horrible outfit!" or "What nasty breath she/he has!" or "Do they even have a clue as to how they look when they are sitting like that?" Mental chatter would also be trying to explain in 50 different ways how Medicare works and why a patient owes a bill and I am thinking of other ways to try to get it through to someone.

But by writing down that mental chatter, what I found interesting was how many times I beat myself up during the day, how inadequate I sometimes felt, how critical sometimes I am of others. I would also write down my positive thoughts of the day and then compare those positive thoughts to how many thoughts thoughts I had during the day. I then try to change that emotion that accompanies that negative thought with a positive one and it becomes my 'thing to do' for the day. Once it becomes a habit, I usually won't see it in my journal anymore.

But as Ralph Marston says, putting your heart in what you do or say makes you a better person. I have found that if I change my mental chatter, it works. Now I will say that there are times I just need to write that letter or have that mental chatter to let the negative emotion attached to that chatter out. I find I am less angry or have less negative thoughts and I have turned those negative thoughts into positive ones. It is my way of blowing off steam.

Inspirational Sunday - Bucket List

Until recently I didn't know what a 'Bucket List' was. I found out it is supposed to be a list of all those things you swear you are going to do before you die. There are numerous ideas on the internet about where the term comes from.

I found out what it meant after someone asked me what kind of things were on mine. I asked for a definition - yep, white and clueless once again.

Even thinking on it and perusing the internet at various sites for ideas, none appealed to me....which got me to thinking.

Do people live their lives always craving or wanting more than what they have. Is this a bucket list - a list of things they just have to do.

Why don't I have anything?

I have determined that the reason is because I am happy with my life as it is. Do I strive to be a better person? Sure do but it doesn't involve making sure I see Italy before I die although I would like to one day. It doesn't involve me crossing anything off my list to do before I die. I take each day as they come and enjoy every single moment in life. Yes, even those days I fight with my husband.

I guess my bucket list would only include then the following:
1. I want to say when I die that I lived my life my way. That every single moment was lived in the spirit of God within me.
2. I would like those I love and even those I don't, to live in the spirit of God so that we might meet one day.

Other than that, there is not a thing I can think of.

I like me as I am.