Back to work

It's funny the perceptions of others. In this case, it's the patients. We were gone a week - hubs at a surgical symposium downtown Chicago for 3 days and then he and I went to our state meeting for 4 days. I don't happen to call them off work at all. If there was a vacation second in there please try and find it for me cuz I know I missed it.

But the patient's perceptions today: How was your week off? Did you go on a cruise? Did you catch up on your sleep?

Maybe it's just us and the fact that we seldom (make that rarely) take time off. It just isn't in our nature and besides, unlike our patients, we just can't afford it. You see, for a small business owner especially a doctor to take off, you not only pay for the vacation somewhere, but you pay for others to take emergency call for you, AND you lose money by not working yet the bills don't take a vacation. Malpractice insurance doesn't take a vacation. So it has to be pretty special for us to take off - it quadruples the price of the trip.

The lecture went well. I had the entire room filled with people coming in left and right standing. They finally just opened the doors and were standing in the hallway. Everyone kept busting out laughing. Guess I entertained them. But all I did was give them a glimpse into what it means working for your spouse and a glimpse into my life. So either I was funny or I just showed how crazy I am.

Definition: taking off work/Fabio

Well, if it were you, you would be sipping exotic drinks on a beach with no cell phone and no way for work to interfere with you.

Now since it is me.....we all know that is just never going to happen.

I had 3 days off. Here's what happens when I take off:

Day 1: I get up at 6am to take hubs to train. Sunday I had gotten out a suitcase for him but told him he had to pack it. Did he do this Sunday? Nope. He runs around like a chicken with his head cut off Monday am, ironing pants and shirts for the next 2 days. Now why you ask would he do this when he only is staying overnight? Not a clue. He's a man. I never attempt to understand them. Plus - why take the time to iron them when they are going to be stuffed into a suitcase which is going to remain packed all day. Ya will just have to re-iron them. Now if a woman had packed an freshly ironed shirt, we would have stuffed paper into it and folded it neatly or just taken an overhanging bag so it wouldn't get mussed. Ok you would do that - I would stuff it in the suitcase unironed and iron it at the hotel.

So we miss the train he is to take and instead we have to go to another station for an express train. He gets out of the car, forgetting the suitcase. I get out and holler for him to come back. He yells: "For what?" And blows me a kiss (probably thinking he forgot to kiss me). So I yell back: "Umm....want your suitcase?" He runs back. Do I get a kiss then? Nope.

So it's now 6:30am and I have the whole day to do with what I want, right? WRONG! I had left a message on the office answering machine that all 3 offices were closed for the entire week and if this was an emergency to call a special number, but otherwise leave a message and the office will return it next week. How many people do you think did that? How many people do you think asked to talk to someone immediately? How many pages did I get? Yeah. Could not even go back to sleep. Are we so trained anymore by message machines that we don't even listen to them?

So hubs stays there overnight. Calls me a couple of times. I am still waiting for my time after returning 64 phone calls and handling 28 'emergencies', when my daughter and the granddoggies walk in. I balance the checkbook and do payroll then cook dinner. Go to bed early with a book I have been meaning to read.

Day 2: 3am I hear this banging, scratching, and clawing on a door. As I struggle to wake up, I realize the sound is real. So I grab the baseball bat and head to investigate this strange noise. I don't go far when I find the noise coming from the spare bedroom - the cat was locked in. Actually locked in since 6am that morning. Now why do you ask she finally decided she wanted out of said bedroom at 3am? Why to piss me off because she knew it was my day off.

So I went back to sleep for another 3 hours then get up to take daughter for her test at the hospital (oh yeah - daughter decided that since I was off work and her husband was out of town, she would have me take her to the hospital for this test and then take care of her after anesthesia. That took most of the day).

I go pick up hubs from the train to take him to a meeting we had that evening. Do I get a kiss? Nope - because while looking for the noise, I ran into the door and had a fat lip. He thought it was a cold sore so wouldn't kiss me. He should know better - I am a klutz. By the way, I also made dinner for daughter and son and took care of her all day. Came home and went to bed to try and finish my book.

Day 3: So far: got hubs up at 5am to go to the learning lab for day 3 of his surgical symposium; answered 20 phone calls; finished laundry; did a couple of reports and finalized my seminar talk; and paid some bills. Dinner is simmering in the oven.

Sum total of what I have done on my days off: Lots of work stuff done, computer for the main office fixed, laundry, finished reading Jodi Picoult's Perfect Match which I highly recommend. I still need to go to the one office and pick up the sterilized instruments in order to see a couple of patients tonight. I also got to be a part of a tantric workshop with Romance Diva's. Anything else accomplished like trying to get the TiVo shows watched? Nope. Couldn't even sleep late one day.

But I did find an appropriate picture of Fabio who I am hoping is man enough to work this time:

My week

Ever have 'ONE OF THOSE WEEKS'? It's been a true full moon week.

Only had 2 good things happen this week:
1. Valentino is now Fabio. We are hoping Fabio does his job. I am still looking for an appropriate video to honor Fabio.
2. A friend from NY visited me - T - who even understood Me-speak (those who know me know what this is. Those who don't - this is when I carry on anywhere from 1-10 conversations at the same time, jumping from one to the other and back again or even intermingle them. It is your duty to keep up with my mouth and brain.)

Things I learned this week:
1. Never ever ever walk against commuters. Always know where you are going when walking or doing anything during rush hour. Commuters are not nice. They know where they are going. They do not like those who don't or those who don't walk fast or those who go against the grain. And gosh forbid, do not make the mistake of being on the wrong concourse and can't find your train so you have to get to the other side trying to navigate through that onslaught of commuters getting to their train and gosh forbid if they have to wait another 10 minutes for the next train. Next time (maybe a zillion years from now) I will take crutches and wave them in front of me to clear a path.
2. The Chicago Shedd Aquarium sucks. Never had been there but went. It sucked. I was not impressed. Not ever going again and never recommending it to anyone.
3. Do not ever stand in the middle of an escalator. You will be knocked down and stepped on. Didn't you know that escalators were for walking faster? Obviously I didn't get that message.
4. Don't put your sore foot up on a seat on the train. They are so meticulously clean that your shoe is just too dirty. **insert major eyeroll**
5. Respect another's zone of privacy when walking in the stampede to the train station. Gosh forbid don't bump into another person irregardless if they stepped in your zone. You will get the 'glare' that mothers use on children.
6. The Chicago River stinks especially after the rains we had last week. Boat rides are great but bring nose plugs or don't breathe.
7. When an employee needs off and it is the one who works directly with your husband, don't take her place. It isn't good for the marriage but I will admit it provided much fodder for my lecture next week on "How to work with your spouse".
8. Even if all 3 of your sump pumps are working, just in case, put everything up higher than 12 inches. Just when you think you are ok, you are not and you get 2 inches of water.
9. Never schedule time off and let others know you have said time off. You become 'booked'.
10. Do not pull up at the designated pick up area at Ohare airport to pick up your son even if he has called and has let you know he has his luggage and is waiting for you at such and such place. You will get a ticket if you park a millisecond even if your trunk is open and your child is putting his suitcase into the car. I haven't quite figured out where to pick up people now but I will never again. I will provide taxi fare.
11. There are bees in Chicago. They love Pepsi. Pepsi kills them. Look before drinking from a cup.
12. Do not expect others in your house to do what you ask of them. Newspapers from 1-4 weeks ago belong on the family room floor so we don't muss the carpeting with our dirty shoes.
13. Yep gotta have 13 for a full moon week. Dropping curling irons on forearms burns them - 2nd degree burn that blisters and hurts like a .....yeah that much because you constantly brush that area on everything including you.

**sigh** This learning hurts my head.

Water Water Everywhere

You would think I am in Texas and in the midst of Ike. But I am not. We have had 6+ inches of rain so far if you don't count the inch in our basement. We have 3 sump pumps going non-stop. We had already closed and winterized the pool for the winter so the 24 foot round pool was only 1/4 full. It is now halfway. This means it usually holds 15,300 gallons of water. When we winterized it, we reduced the water in it to 5,100 gallons. It now has 7650 gallons. Translated to inches of rain = a flippen lot of rain.

We are actually stranded. We can't get out our own driveway. Our street is now a lake. We have 2 rivers flowing on each side of the house. Hubs and I tried to go have breakfast with a friend of ours who flew into Ohare for a meeting. He flew out of Ike from San Antonio into just as much rain. After an hour of trying, we couldn't get more than 5 miles away from our house.

I filled water jugs. We have plenty of food and gas. The generator is ready to do its job if we lose power.

We actually have Ike tonight and tomorrow which is going to help feed this storm and keep it around.

For pics of the area just go to ***www.***chicagotribune.com*** or ***www.dailyherald.com*** (As always remove the *** because I still haven't learned how to insert a link into blogger).

What Happens When A Doctor Becomes a Patient

The same thing when a male becomes a patient only 100% worse.

Hub's instructions for today:
1. Increase your fluid intake for the next 1-2 days.
2. Take your antibiotics at the same time every day until gone.
3. Limit your activity for the next 24 hours. Stay off your feet. Rest.

Here is a glimpse into my life with him today:

Me: "You are supposed to drink a full glass of water every hour. Here it is."
Him: "I don't want water. Bring me a cup of coffee."
Me: "No, coffee is a diuretic. You are supposed to drink water."
Him: "Well, I don't want water and it states fluid and coffee is a fluid."
Me: "Drink your water."

So I go and start a load of laundry. I hear movements in the kitchen and since there isn't anyone else here in the house but the cat and sugar glider, I come out of the laundry room and what do I see? I see hubs making himself a cup of coffee.

Me: "What do you have a taste for for lunch? How about a grilled cheese with tomato and bacon sandwich or a grilled chicken sandwich or BBQ chicken sandwich or do you just want pancakes or french toast or waffles?
Him: "I want a hamburger with grilled onions."
Me: "Well, I don't have that here and since it is pouring, you get to choose what you want from above." I go to the laundry room to move the sheets from the washer to the dryer and put a load of towels in the washer.

Me: "Where are you going?" (Hubs is passing me on the way to the garage).
Him: "I am going to pick up my hamburger I ordered."
Me: "You are supposed to be on your butt on the couch. Where did you order it and I will pick it up."

So I left to go pick up his food in the pouring rain.

I finally get him to lay down and take a nap for 3 hours.

He wakes up and gets dressed and says he's going to Home Depot.
Me: "Like hell you are."
Him: "What? I feel fine."

I throw the sheet of instructions to him.

His opinion of the sheet? "I feel fine. I know my body better."

He went to Home Depot.

**sigh**

It's nice without kids

Dedicated to my honey:

Bad Mommy?

What makes a bad mommy? According to my husband, moi!

The story:

It all started once upon a time....okok....no really - but it did start way back when son (youngest) first went to school.

Hubs reaction: "Awwwww....our baby is starting school." The flippen backpack was checked zillions of times by not only son but hubs too. Pictures were taken.
My reaction: "Yeah, is the bus here yet? When does my freedom start? OMG I can actually grocery shop without children and 10 zillion things being either asked for or found in my cart upon checkout."


So fast forward to son going away to college:

Hubs: Makes sure son has the essentials any male needs: food, microwave, condoms. Got weepy on the way home from dropping him off. Expected weekly phone calls from son but had to call him to check on him nightly and would get pissed if he didn't answer.
My reaction: Made sure son knew how to do his own laundry and had school essentials and clean underwear. Expected to call him once a week and actually talk to him once a month. Expected to see him monthly with dirty laundry in hand. Actually saw him 2 times a semester and both times we went down to visit him. Expected to have an empty house and more time with hubs. What I Got: daughter back home.

So fast forward to yesterday. Son is now 25. He was due to start computer classes leading to his A+ and MCSE certifications for the next 2 weeks. He had been enrolled for a month or so. Yesterday he got a phone call and found out that instead of him starting the class Saturday around here, there were only 2 people who had signed up and therefore he was given the option of either waiting for the next class or go to Atlanta (compliments of them) for the 2 weeks. Son chose to go to Atlanta.

Hubs reaction: A mother hen.
Me: Thinking....OMG we have an empty house now. There are no kids. No one to take care of. But no one to do the dishes or clean the toilets either but hey, it's only for 2 weeks - we can just eat out and the toilets will last.

So I calmly told son where the suitcases were and he could choose the size he wanted but to remember he could always wash clothes there and reminded him of the poundage issue with airlines now. I reminded him to not take any liquids through security so his contact solution had to go in the suitcase. Then since he needed to take a laptop with him and we only have 2 in our household, I got my laptop ready by taking off all the incriminating and personal stuff you know a son wouldn't want to find on his mother's computer.
Hubs: 'Helped' him pack by telling him things to take and showed him how to pack the suitcase. He made sure he had name tags on the suitcases and was going through warning signs of how to stay in a hotel by yourself, etc.
Son's reaction: He kept patting father on the head and saying, "Yes, Dad, I will be ok. I am 25."

This morning's scenario:
Hubs: Wakes me up at the butt crack of dawn on the ONLY day I have to sleep in, yelling "Aren't you getting up to take son to the airport?"
Me: "Nope. That's why taxis were invented. They do things like that."
Hubs: "Well, then I guess I will just have to do it on my way into the hospital for the 3 surgeries I have to do today. *** get ready we have to leave in 30 minutes."
Me: "Good" Then promptly rolled over to go back to sleep.
Son: "WTF? WHY?

Now what the flip was I thinking? Two men up in the house. Ya think they would allow me to sleep? Maybe on some other planet.

Hubs: Walked out the door giving him last minute instructions on how to register at the hotel, how to get a cab from the airport to the hotel, how to tip, how to use the kiosk to check in, running through lists making sure son took this or that...etc. I can hear the whole car ride conversation.
Me: Got upm made coffee because obviously no one was going to allow me to sleep. As son left, I said: "Bye and study! Call me when you get there."

3 hours later.
Hubs calls and asks: "Have you heard anything?"
Me: working since I couldn't go back to sleep, ask "Huh? Heard from who about what?"
Hubs in a definite exasperated sigh: "From son."
Me: "Why should I? His flight (if on time and that is iffy at Ohare) should be just now taking off."
Hubs: "Are you sure he's on the flight? Better call him."
Me: "Number 1: He must be on it and didn't miss it or I am sure I would have gotten a phone call by now. Number 2: you should be scrubbing for your 2nd case. Now you go take care of what you are supposed to be doing and stop worrying."

Here is what I imagine the scenario tonight on our first evening alone in the house sans kids:
Me: Totally fine and thinking if I am jumping hubs tonight or tomorrow after work or Sunday and thinking how clean the house is going to stay and how I lost my dishwasher and toilet scrubber.
Hubs: "Has he called yet? Is he there yet? What did he have for dinner? Did he get checked in ok? Is Fay or Ike going to bother him? Is he going to remember to lock the doors to his room?"

Total role reversal. Some would say bad mommy. I say......wahooooooooo - the last one has flown the coop!

Working with your spouse

I have been asked to do a lecture on "Working with your Spouse". Interesting subject. I have many ideas but I wonder if they want the good AND bad?

Hubs and I actually work well together 90% of the time. I anticipate his needs and we work seamlessly. But....yeah always a but. There are just some things that annoy me about working with him. I am sure though he doesn't have one bad thing to say about me unless we count the number of times he's fired me. But then doesn't one have to counter those times with the number of times I have walked out or quit or told him to stuff it 'you know where' or 'do it yourself can't you see I am busy'?

Most of the lecture I will give I already have done on another lecture: How to work with difficult people. Who is the most difficult person in any arena? The person who knows you the best - your spouse.

I tell managers that instead of looking for advice to improve the working relationships in the office, look in the mirror. Yep, look in the mirror. The reason why? You can't change the other person no matter what you do. So instead your goal is simple: How do I get what I need without conflict or internalizing it so my blood pressure goes up or don't go postal?

In every aspect of life we encounter others with clashing personality types. Instead of focusing on the other person's 'faults', you instead focus on their behavior and the results of those behaviors. When you do that, you will see ways to improve both the relationship and the result.

I have 3 rules I strictly enforce when we work together:

1. Be nice to each other and treat each other with the same or higher courtesy than you do all the other employees or colleagues. Yes this means you will have to compromise on some issues. Learn to pick your battles. This also means you have to be polite and courteous to each other even if you want to rip their insides out. You have to hold the ripping until you get back home.

2. Be sure to set business and free time boundaries. When you work with your spouse, it is impossible to leave it at the office, especially us since we bring home work. So we set up times it is appropriate to ask me something about the office. When I am heading to bed is not the time. When I am reading a book is not the time. Hubs has more of a problem with setting things aside than I do. I try to anticipate his needs and questions but I also let him know when he is being unreasonable. I started setting up an hour he gets to discuss whatever he needs or wants to get off his chest or things extra he wants me to do. In that hour, I also get time to do the same for him. I try to do it once a week. Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't.

Remember when you had wee ones and you went out for the 1st time without child and tried to set up rules that you are not going to talk about baby at all? Yeah didn't work. Talking about work at home is the same. Keeping the 2 totally separate doesn't always work and definitely doesn't always work in my household. A little tip: I found the more I allowed us to talk at home, the less we actually did. Also diversion is good and it is easy to divert a male's attention.

3. Be an individual. I happen to think this one is the most important. You work, eat, sleep and are together 24/7/365. So you and your husband need to have your own personal interests away from each other. Each of you needs to get a hobby or something you do with your own friends without the other and don't feel guilty if you don't do things together. Daughter and I have girls night out with a dinner and movie with other mothers and daughters. We have a blast. Hubs has golf and dinner outings and once a month his buddies all get together for a man's night out. Hubs also does things with our son (paintball, movies that he knows I would never watch).

So can you work with your spouse?

My Views on the Current Politics

Yep that pretty well sums it up.

There's an old saying that you should never discuss sex, politics or religion in polite company. Maybe it was Ms Manners (yeah I did read the book but I don't have to say how much I retained).

I have this ability though...it seems my mouth always seems to open before my foot goes in. I have my thoughts on what is going on.

How many of you are as tired of this election and what's going on as much as I am? Is it possible to discuss these topics with just anyone? Can one agree to disagree? Do you thoughtfully consider what's said and have a cordial conversation of differences?

Yeah, neither can I which is why on these topics my mouth resembles the above image. I have learned, yep the hard way, that zipping the mouth before mouth speaks and foot gets there to shut it up, is the right way to be.

So how's the weather?

Blogging Styles

There are a lot of blogs out in the internet world. Some are good and allow you to peek into the lives of others. Some are what I call 'depend' blogs - yanno the ones where one has to get your depends out before attempting to read them because you will pee your pants from laughing so hard. Others take freedom of speech to the nth degree and show us the worst in human nature. And others show us the best of another and give us hope that the world isn't all crappy all the time. Still others blog and give us information about specific subjects.

The ones that I have a problem with are those who blog for intentional purposes: they do ANYTHING to generate traffic to their site. They are so far out there with their blog subjects, it is hard to figure out what is truth and what is fiction. I liken them to the scandal newspapers and magazines and rags: anything for a headline even if it doesn't have an ounce of truth in it. I am sure you all know of blogs who do this. I tend to avoid them. But I go against the grain on this thought: I feel they should be held accountable for what they state in their blogs, much in the same way as other media.

Now we get to how one handles the responses on their blog. In my opinion, there are 3 types of responses:
1. Good
2. Bad
3. Spam

It's easy to know what to do with #1 and #3. #2 is a hot issue. Blogspot has features to allow the blog owner to monitor their comments by either making the responder type in a verification code before their response to show up, or take it one step further by typing in the verification code and not allowing a comment to show up until the blog owner approves the comment.

Now remember the styles above. If you want a clean blog and focused only on what you are saying, then you do not want negative comments in any way. But in reality, who wants to read a goody-two-shoes blog? Is life such a bed of roses for you that you can't see anything else? If so, then good for you. My life doesn't happen to be like that.

If you invite other's opinions or comments, then you have to allow comments that do not happen to agree with yours. But just because you get a negative comment, does this mean you delete them?

Think of it this way: there was a blog I read all the time. It was one of those 'get the depends before reading' blog. I loved it. Soon it became boring. Why? The blogger was so far into herself that she didn't allow any negative comments at all in any way, shape, or form. Unless the response praised her up one way and another, it didn't get posted. She became a 'praise' whore to me. Her blog, although it remained funny, no longer held the appeal. I looked at it the other day again. It was still the same thing over and over. It was no longer a depends blog.

That brings up the thought that why would one want a negative comment? Well, maybe that responder has a different opinion than yours - maybe that responder has another way of thinking that might alter your opinion. What a wonderful way to learn about others.

Even friends don't always agree with friends. I welcome all comments at my blog. (Note: if it is spam: make sure it is a good site!)