Happy Christmas Eve - Dedicated to Memory of My Mom

Mom, the above says it all. I miss you so much. If you were here and saw what was going on in the family, I know you would be so highly pissed. Pissed that the family you so carefully put together is torn apart by your earthly husband and children and grandchildren. You were always preaching fairness to all but your message somehow didn't reach everyone.

This is the last year your oldest and youngest will participate in family activities. Yes, that is how bad it has gotten. In the 5 years you have been gone, it has gone from bad to worse. There is not anything resembling a family left.

I miss you.

Family Problems

I haven't had time to update this blog. Granddaughter had bacterial pneumonia so I was helping take care of her then I came down with a pretty nasty cold and cough which I still have (don't have strep again though).

Thanksgiving? Well it was interesting and I can honestly say I will never do it again the way we did it this year. Technically I think it would have worked out if son-in-law's family didn't act like my daughter's side of the family weren't there. According to the 30 of them, the 5 of us were not invited and were not family. It was held at daughter's house. She sent evites asking people to bring a dish. Did people bring the dish they said they would? I did. My brother-in-law did. Did son-in-law's family? Nope. We ended up with 3 lousy box stuffing mixes, vegetables that just because they are wrapped in bacon doesn't mean anyone wanted to eat it, my mashed potatoes (10 pounds went like hotcakes) and about 100 desserts. I made a pumpkin pie and pecan pie. BIL made a deep dish apple pie. His family? Store bought cupcakes, cookies, candy, oh and birthday cakes for their family who were having birthdays.

So basically I could eat the turkey and mashed potatoes. I wanted to join my granddaughter in eating a bowl of Rice Krispies - the new Christmas version. I also made whipped cream from scratch. They wanted cool whip.

There wasn't any intermingling. Conversations would stop if I entered a room (I was put in charge of granddaughter who goes where she wants and she didn't want to go anywhere near them). To be honest, she didn't know them. She knew her gramma and her 2 cousins but no one else. They hadn't seen her since last Christmas. You can't make a 2 year old do anything if she doesn't want to.

So who got the whole meal ready? Daughter and I. Who did dishes? Daughter and I. Who cleaned up? Daughter and I.

Yep not doing that again.

More Crazy Words for Words With Friends

Oh yeah, they are at it again. It's funny that every time I post about people who cheat when playing the game Words With Friends, they don't cheat for 2-3 games.

But those 2-3 games gear them up for some good ones. The latest:

jinn - really? is this a slim gym? or some nasty gin?

drest - this one reminds me of that baby washing detergent - dreft

cidon - no clue on this one but sounds like something out of Star Wars

dhobi - Indian origins perhaps?

gaen - now this one reminds me of Ireland

outvies - reminds me of an outhouse

guiro - a new word for a coin?

ducat - instead of the cat or da cat it is du cat

spait - reminds me of those ugly shoe covers we had to wear on our shoes in band in the 1960's

zax - a really high counting word if placed properly and yep they placed it to get 100 points! I will remember this one!

casefies - are these like flies that come in cases?

Combining Families for Holidays

Ironically this sign is seen at a lot of weddings now. But in reality, does it really happen? I say no.

From the first time my daughter got engaged, her mother-in-law-to-be took over my Mother's Day plans with my family to a surprise engagement party for our children. She called me to tell me AFTER she had already announced and sent out invitations to her side. All of her side brought presents for the kids. My side did not. We were labeled as 'poor'. Since this mother invited more than my side had there, I took the bill and handed it to son-in-law to be's parents to pay (I figured out the bill plus tax and tip and divided it to get a per person amount then multiplied it by the number of people they had). Yep they paid. I don't think they were happy but yanno, I didn't really care.

Then came the wedding. I gave daughter a budget. The list for invites came to over 1000. So we started trimming. I refused to pay for more than 250 people. We decided to only invite people who actually knew either my daughter or my son-in-law, plus no one could bring a date unless they were engaged, and there would be no children unless they were family. The kids told their friends to buddy up and they wouldn't be allowed to bring a date unless they were engaged. Mother of SIL protested since she wanted her bible friends and neighbors (they didn't know SIL since they had moved in long after SIL moved out) so I gave her the cost to upgrade the room and what the price per person was and if she wanted to invite these people she would have to pay for it. She elected not to.

SIL's mother was pissed I put her son's flowers on him. But yanno? We couldn't start the wedding until she got there. Yep she was over 10 minutes late.

In my eyes, it has been a competition since between her family and mine. She insists on every holiday at the time she decides to get it ready. She decides she wants lunch so the kids told her lunch would be at 11:30am then so they had time to drive the hour west for our dinner at 5pm. She wouldn't even serve until 3pm which was the time she wanted to begin with. So I took lunch. It would end up I would get the kids for 2-3 hours and she would get them for 6 hours. But my time would be shared with my husband's family. I never got alone time. Christmas was easier. We do Christmas eve with husband's family. Christmas usually the 26th for my family. But now there was no time for the kids and us alone. So I was relegated to an hour before we would head to a parent's house.

This year my daughter said she was having Thanksgiving dinner at their house and she was hosting. Both immediate families would be invited but since they had more kids, and husband only has a brother and his wife and his mother on our side, these would be invited. Well, son-in-law must have told his mother because the numbers grew from SIL's mother and father, sister with her fiancee, and 2 grandchildren (SIL's sister had to work) to now include cousins, relatives, neighbors, and people from MIL's bible group. Daughter didn't stand up for herself and allowed it.

It was miserable. Granddaughter had been sick so between taking care of husband's mother and running after granddaughter and helping daughter in the kitchen, I was run ragged as was daughter. People were to sign up for different things and state what they were bringing so daughter had an idea of what was coming. Well, people didn't bring what they said so we ended up with 3 different stuffings, my mashed potatoes, daughter's sweet potato casserole, rolls, and turkey my daughter and SIL provided. No vegetable. No salad. Husband's brother brought a homemade apple pie, I brought a homemade pumpkin pie and a homemade pecan pie along with real whipped cream. The others brought cookies bought from stores, cupcakes that would feed 4, and my SIL's mother? She brought a french silk pie and 2 birthday cakes for their side of the family. Ummm.....this was Thanksgiving not birthday party for your side of the family.

Guess who cleaned up? Yep daughter and I. Not one person (there were 30 of SIL's mother's people) of their side helped at all. They didn't even clean up their own plates.

Guess what I am taking back? Yep my own Thanksgiving. SIL's parents have decided they will not work with me so I refuse to work with them anymore. I don't care. I am not their maid.

Happy Thanksgiving

Sorry this was posted late. Granddaughter has had bacterial pneumonia so I have been helping daughter out with her care and assisting daughter with the preparations for Thanksgiving.

Granddaughter is better. Daughter is sick now. I was too but mine was more gluten sensitivity in a high gluten meal. I tried to keep it under control but guess the stuffing along with pie along with pasta didn't help. Thankfully son-in-law is taking care of little one - how come it seems they recuperate 100 times faster than the adults taking care of them?

Recipe Thursday - Cooked Cranberry Salad/Sauce

This is my mother's cranberry sauce modified and adapted to my husband's family's heritage.

1 bag of cranberries, washed and discard any bad ones then dry them
1 cup sugar
1/2 cup of water
1 orange
1 jar of cinnamon sticks

Put the water and sugar into a pan, Add the cranberries. Zest the orange then squeeze as much juice as you can into the pan.

Bring the pan to a boil. Reduce heat and add the jar of cinnamon sticks. Simmer until the cranberries begin to burst and the liquid thickens (around 10 to 15 minutes).

Pour into a serving dish. Cool. Some people like to serve it warm (me) and others like it chilled in the frig for an hour or more.

Inspirational Sunday - Changing How You React to How People Treat You

This spoke to me especially with Thanksgiving rolling around and with people I don't particularly care anything about - my daughter's inlaws, inlaws neighbors, inlaws relatives, inlaws bible group. I don't know why my daughter thought I would want to attend something with her inlaws because she knows I can't stand them after his mother just takes over everything. Daughter says that her MIL is an airhead and she doesn't even realize she is doing this. My opinion differs. But it is my daughter's inlaws. Not mine.

Thanksgiving should be family and friends. The only people that will be there amongst the 50 people will be my family (husband, son, daughter, son-in-law, and granddaughter). The others? Not even friends.

But I will go because the alternative is going to my father's which is definitely not going to happen or go home alone.

I am choosing to stay and changing how I react to it and yes, without drugs. Pray for me!