If I were ever to write a story about anything, I would not have to look farther than either my own family or my inlaws. Since we are getting together with inlaws tomorrow, that is today's subject.
I was the oldest so by the age of 8, I was cooking full meals and helping to take care of my younger brothers and sisters and helping to run the house especially during harvest. My relationship with my mother has never been a good loving one. I actually can't remember the last time my mother told me she loved me. My parents were all about how we looked to the public than what was really going on within the family dynamics. I come along within the 1st year of my parent's marriage and as most of you know, am not a quiet mousey type person. I speak my mind which made me into the black sheep and scapegoat of the family. So when I met my husband's parents, I was impressed with how close they were and so involved in each other's lives. Boy was that soon to change. I was ok as long as we were dating but the moment that ring went on my finger all hell broke loose.... but never in front of my husband....no sireeee...she was the epitome of a back stabbing covert hostile bitch with a Dr Jeckel and Mr Hyde personality.
I sometimes wonder if someone was spying on me when they began writing "Everybody Loves Raymond." It's funny how faces and names may be different, but the stories sure do sound the same. I keep telling myself that I'm getting trained on either how to or how not to be a mother in law to my future daughter in law. Hopefully I'm learning the "right" lesson.
My MIL has never changed. She repeats to me every chance she can get that hubs and I will never last (we will be married 28 years this summer and together 30). I will never forget that one day she let my husband see her real self: we walked out of their house on Christmas after she went into a hissy fit and stated to our children that I was a bad mother and I stunk. In some ways I feel sorry for her because she lost her son a long time ago and she has never gotten to know her only grandchildren. She is a very bitter woman happy to dwell in her unhappiness and martyrdom.
On the other hand, hub's father is a peach of a man. He is kind, considerate, and removes his wife from my site when she way oversteps her bounds (rearranging my cabinets, doing the white glove along window sills, complaining how filthy our frig is, how much I am not feeding her precious son properly, etc). But his father suffered a stroke almost a year ago and lost much of his short term memory and ability to think and reason so he is no longer any help.
Tomorrow we are going an hour out of our way to pick them up and take them to a brunch for her birthday, then to see our daughter's townhome (something she has been bitching about for almost 2 years now), then back to their home to do the numerous things she thinks needs to be done around their house that his father can no longer do (last month was to replace a light bulb in a tabletop lamp). Why they don't go into a retirement community is beyond me as they can't take care of the house or property. She barely drives...only in town....which is actually good in that she does not show up on my doorstep anymore.
I cope by repeating to myself: this woman somehow raised a fine son who means everything to me and for that alone, I will put up with whatever she dishes out for the 5 hours we will be with her. It is also with the knowledge that I will not have to see her again for another month.
