Dementia Day

Friday, hubs and I spent the entire day with inlaws. We took MIL to a new doctor in the am which she loved and both hubs and I approved of. (Inlaws current doctor was in a solo practice and although this is not necessarily a bad thing, you better have someone covering for emergencies and there were way too many times we would call and no one answered the phone - no one, not even a machine). So we wanted to change their doctor and were thrilled she liked the new one. That appointment over, we took MIL to lunch, met BIL, then picked up FIL and we all went to the elder care lawyer to sign the paperwork for a whole bunch of documents.

We had pre-warned the lawyer's office that FIL had a doctor's appointment so to please just give him the papers using simple language to have him sign. We tested FIL on the way over to the office on what his name was. We were taking a chance that he would remember and could write said name around 15 times. We had tried before to do the signing of the paperwork and he didn't know his name so this was our second attempt. If he didn't do it this time, we would have to go through mental competency hearings. Thankfully, he was bright eyed and bushy tailed that day.

He breezed through the paperwork and the lawyers were great. So FIL and I got up to leave and MIL, BIL, and my husband were staying to sign the rest of the paperwork and set up the trust. FIL and I were going to his appointment with the new doctor. I didn't quite know if he would go with me and had prepared a photo book I had just made for him, hoping to distract him.

We did fine although his memory level was still about 2 minutes. I had my GPS on to tell me how to get to the new doctor's office. The photo book? Forgotten. The GPS unit? FIL was absolutely enthralled with the idea that something was telling me when to turn, etc. He kept picking up the unit, turning it over (and disconnecting it), wondering how it worked. I tried to explain it to him in simple terms but it was a WHOOSH over his head. (FIL has this thing he does when we try to tell him things he has forgotten - he picks up his hand and "whooshes" it over his head - so we have all picked up this habit for whenever we forget something).

So we get to the doctor's office and I hand in his paperwork and go sit down to wait our turn. FIL kept distracted by the babies in the waiting room. He loves kids and had a riot making faces and playing with 3 that were near us and they were just as enthralled with him as he was with them. Then his name was called and we went to meet the new doctor. She is a really good looking woman. FIL might have dementia but obviously the 'noticing a good looking woman' part of the brain wasn't affected. He kept trying to flirt with the doctor and once told me I could step out of the room - that he didn't need witnesses. The doctor took it in stride. We are going to start him on another memory drug in patch form. I am probably more worried he will peel it off himself not remembering what it is there for, so we will see.

Since the others weren't done with the legal stuff, I took FIL back to his group home. Again, he went for the GPS. When we pulled up in front of the home, he said that it wasn't his home. I said, well, the GPS knows this is your home - it's labeled as Dad's home. So he said well okay, and we went in. Of course, once he was there, he remembered and the caretakers are great - greeting him like a long lost friend.

We settled into doing a puzzle on the table when one of the other patients there brought out the National Enquirer. The 3 men who are the most alert pored over that magazine like it was a regular newspaper. One would read and then pass it around for the pictures. So our discussions were centered on the latest alien child and how this miracle cream would erase wrinkles and age spots. Now remember I said FIL's memory lasted usually 2 minutes? Well, he remembered the cute doctor and proceeded to tell the others all about her relating this miracle cream to him erasing his age (which he couldn't remember) so he had a chance at the doctor. Photo memory book? I put it in his room.

There is nothing funnier than sitting and listening to 3 dementia patients have a discussion only they understand about aliens and the qualities of a good looking woman. It made my week!