Laws of The Natural Universe
Law of Mechanical Repair:
After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch or you'll have to pee. (OMG this happens to other people too?)
Law of the Workshop:
Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner. (I will attest that this applies to anything not just things dropped in a workshop).
Law of Probability:
The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act. (Know this one well too).
Law of the Telephone:
If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal. (Or India or some other country who doesn't understand a word you are saying).
Law of the Alibi:
If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire. (Can't get by with this one since boss drives me to work).
Variation Law:
If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will start to move faster than the one you are in now (works every time). (Will agree).
Law of the Bath:
When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings. (Or someone barges in).
Law of Close Encounters:
The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with. (oops)
Law of the Result:
When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will. (I swear the printer and copy machine know this law).
Law of Biomechanics:
The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach. (Which is why I bought very long handled tongs).
Law of the Theatre:
At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last. (Yeah, how do they always do that? And they are the same ones who get up to go to the potty 5 times and for all intermissions, and for food).
Law of Coffee:
As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something, which will last until the coffee is cold. (Not in my house. The one who things he is the boss makes the coffee and delivers it to me).
Murphy's Law of Lockers:
If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers. (HS was way too far back to remember this one).
Law of Rugs/Carpets:
The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet/rug. (Yep)
Law of Location:
No matter where you go, there you are. (hehehe)
Law of Logical Argument:
Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about. (I like this one and will use it).
Brown's Law:
If the shoe fits, it's ugly. (I bought a new pair of tennis shoes last August. One is worn out already. The other one has been worn for 3 weeks).
Oliver's Law:
A closed mouth gathers no feet. (Unless it is my foot then it is always inserted into mouth).
Wilson's Law:
As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it. (This one is true. I love my Sango Jolie everyday dinnerware. I have to get it on Ebay now.)
The Law of intelligence:
The difference between GENIUS and STUPIDITY is that genius has its limits. (OMG this is so true but is also called Darwinism).
Extended Law of physics:
For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction, and sometimes a scar. (Or many scars done by a doctor who thinks it's funny to have smiley faced scars).
