I have been pondering this for a few years now especially in my extended family. Twice a year we have 'mandatory' family gatherings. One is an entire weekend in the summer where we literally stuff 50 people into a 10 bedroom farmhouse, get no sleep, try to get along with siblings you never got along with when you were young, then add in allergies from being around hay barns and in the country so you are sick for weeks after. The other is Christmas.
There are also 2 gift exchanges per year. One for birthdays (names of those participating go into a hat and then given a name to buy for - gift exchange is $100.00). The other was the Christmas exchange whose price was set at $100.00 years ago then lowered to $50.00 then lowered last year to $25.00).
My husband, son, and I chose not to be a part of the birthday drawing. We just can't afford that. We agreed to stay in the Christmas exchange if it was reduced to $25.00 which it was. Did my family honor this? No. So here I was giving presents $25.00 while others were spending up to $100.00 on their name.
Now I attended Christmas yesterday. At no time was there ever a meeting or a vote. But somehow the monetary value of the Christmas gift was increased to $50.00 to $100.00 again. My husband's name, my son's name, and my name was eliminated from the 2015 Christmas list.
Guess we were eliminated because we stuck to the $25.00 gift limit.
Family.
Sunday, December 28, 2014
Wednesday, November 19, 2014
Craptacular
Yes you read that right. My new word of the day is crapactular. Thanks Reyd! I am loving this word.
If there was any word to sum up my last year it would be crapactular.
Hubs and I have $20.00 to our name. That twenty has to last us a week maybe more. We finally got our practice management software back so I can get billing out. But with all the legal fees which of course had to be paid up front, we are down to our last twenty.
Do you think family would help us? Why would they? There is a wedding to plan for in January. There is a sister in the midst of a divorce so my father bought her a house. Brother's wife has gout again (no idea why that should mean anything but that was their excuse). Inlaw's money is tied up in a trust. Brother in law and his wife who combined make over $300,000.00 per year have a plane to worry about. Why should they help? After all they have never acknowledged their god daughter or their only grand niece. They don't attend or help with anything.
Somehow we will eat and put on a Thanksgiving dinner.
I will have faith. It will come together.
In the meantime, I am going with everything is peachy keen and crapactular!
If there was any word to sum up my last year it would be crapactular.
Hubs and I have $20.00 to our name. That twenty has to last us a week maybe more. We finally got our practice management software back so I can get billing out. But with all the legal fees which of course had to be paid up front, we are down to our last twenty.
Do you think family would help us? Why would they? There is a wedding to plan for in January. There is a sister in the midst of a divorce so my father bought her a house. Brother's wife has gout again (no idea why that should mean anything but that was their excuse). Inlaw's money is tied up in a trust. Brother in law and his wife who combined make over $300,000.00 per year have a plane to worry about. Why should they help? After all they have never acknowledged their god daughter or their only grand niece. They don't attend or help with anything.
Somehow we will eat and put on a Thanksgiving dinner.
I will have faith. It will come together.
In the meantime, I am going with everything is peachy keen and crapactular!
Sunday, November 16, 2014
Update - When It Rains It Pours - FIL, Death, and More
I believe things happen for a reason. Right now I can't think of any reason but I am hoping there is one. Life has been one curve ball after another.
1st - We admitted FIL into hospice August 20th after 3 days of total unconsciousness. We learned his heart was still functioning around 20% capacity but he was in total renal failure. Dialysis was not an option. He would not respond and flunked the swallowing test twice. So we all made the decision to admit him to hospice. My husband and I signed the paperwork and I arranged his transfer from the hospital for the next morning via ambulance back to his dementia home. We thought we would be having his funeral the following Monday for our 35th wedding anniversary. Betting is not our forte :)
I swear someone sprinkled fairy dust on him during his transfer. The man I had spent 3 days with at the hospital was not the man I saw in a picture taken Thursday afternoon at his house. That picture showed a man who was sitting up in a wheelchair, eating dinner. Fully awake and conscious and talking.
He had good days and bad days and in the last few weeks there were more bad days than good days. We got a call Monday the 27th that he had lapsed back into a coma like state. We rushed out to see him. Taking a look at him, I knew it would be just a matter of days. We were out there for MIL daily also working every day. Thursday the 30th we got a call that it was any time. We drove back out after re-arranging patients. We stayed until almost 9p, then took MIL home, drove back home picking up a pizza on the way. We had just finished eating the pizza when we got the call he had died. We drove back out, taking MIL to see him to say her final good-byes. Yes, I allowed her to crawl into bed with him. She needed that closure and at this point after being married 66 years, I felt it was her right. We stayed to midnight and took MIL home, then went back to the home to wait for the hospice nurse to pronounce him, and then waited for the funeral home to pick him up. I think we finally got home between 3-4 am. BIL called us and stated he had scheduled for us to make all the arrangements at 9 the next morning. Hubs and I looked at each other and said absolutely no way and changed it to 11. We were still late but we had to have some sleep. BIL had only been there once that week and for a few hours. We had been splitting what little time we had to be there for MIL and FIL. We were exhausted.
The funeral was Monday, October 31st. It was a very fitting day for a generous man. He was more of a father to me than my own ever thought of being. He loved me and never hesitated to tell me. He encouraged me and trusted me - things my own father never did. I will really miss him.
#2 FIL's funeral was not the first the month of October for us. We lost our beloved 5 year old cat Trouble earlier in the month. We also lost a friend who dropped dead of a heart attack at 58, a cousin who died at age 55, and a friend who couldn't bear life anymore and took his own life at the age of 64. We also lost our son-in-law's grandfather early in the month. So if things come in 3's, I figure we have one more to go.
It has been a month of testing our faith in God. There were 2 other things that happened that I will address in another post.
1st - We admitted FIL into hospice August 20th after 3 days of total unconsciousness. We learned his heart was still functioning around 20% capacity but he was in total renal failure. Dialysis was not an option. He would not respond and flunked the swallowing test twice. So we all made the decision to admit him to hospice. My husband and I signed the paperwork and I arranged his transfer from the hospital for the next morning via ambulance back to his dementia home. We thought we would be having his funeral the following Monday for our 35th wedding anniversary. Betting is not our forte :)
I swear someone sprinkled fairy dust on him during his transfer. The man I had spent 3 days with at the hospital was not the man I saw in a picture taken Thursday afternoon at his house. That picture showed a man who was sitting up in a wheelchair, eating dinner. Fully awake and conscious and talking.
He had good days and bad days and in the last few weeks there were more bad days than good days. We got a call Monday the 27th that he had lapsed back into a coma like state. We rushed out to see him. Taking a look at him, I knew it would be just a matter of days. We were out there for MIL daily also working every day. Thursday the 30th we got a call that it was any time. We drove back out after re-arranging patients. We stayed until almost 9p, then took MIL home, drove back home picking up a pizza on the way. We had just finished eating the pizza when we got the call he had died. We drove back out, taking MIL to see him to say her final good-byes. Yes, I allowed her to crawl into bed with him. She needed that closure and at this point after being married 66 years, I felt it was her right. We stayed to midnight and took MIL home, then went back to the home to wait for the hospice nurse to pronounce him, and then waited for the funeral home to pick him up. I think we finally got home between 3-4 am. BIL called us and stated he had scheduled for us to make all the arrangements at 9 the next morning. Hubs and I looked at each other and said absolutely no way and changed it to 11. We were still late but we had to have some sleep. BIL had only been there once that week and for a few hours. We had been splitting what little time we had to be there for MIL and FIL. We were exhausted.
The funeral was Monday, October 31st. It was a very fitting day for a generous man. He was more of a father to me than my own ever thought of being. He loved me and never hesitated to tell me. He encouraged me and trusted me - things my own father never did. I will really miss him.
#2 FIL's funeral was not the first the month of October for us. We lost our beloved 5 year old cat Trouble earlier in the month. We also lost a friend who dropped dead of a heart attack at 58, a cousin who died at age 55, and a friend who couldn't bear life anymore and took his own life at the age of 64. We also lost our son-in-law's grandfather early in the month. So if things come in 3's, I figure we have one more to go.
It has been a month of testing our faith in God. There were 2 other things that happened that I will address in another post.
Sunday, October 19, 2014
A Not So Inspirational Sunday
I had originally thought my life was busy and crazy but I had no idea it could get worse.
Since my last post my husband and I split every day between visiting FIL whom we admitted to hospice and work. But there are so many other things that totally fill our time, some days I just want to have everything go away and just hide. One of those things is we had to make the difficult decision to euthanize our beloved cat 5 year old Trouble. Just 3 weeks prior to making that decision, Trouble was diagnosed with a bladder infection. Trouble recuperated fine after a round of antibiotics or so we thought. A week after he took the last antibiotic he became listless again. We fed him syringes of water and isolated him from the other cats. A mere 6 hours later we rushed him to the Emergency Vet who diagnosed him with bladder stones and in acute renal failure. Since he was so young, we decided to treat by having the vet put in a catheter and give him IV fluids. He didn't respond. His kidney failure was too much so we made the difficult decision to put him out of his pain. We picked up his ashes yesterday. His blood brother misses him but we all do.
On top of the above, we are dealing with the complications of trusting our software vendor who we thought was a friend. There is the Attorney General of 2 states and a legal firm and our lawyer trying to help us sort out a huge mess. I feel betrayed. What I thought was a 21 + year friendship based on ethics, honesty, and mutual respect has turned out to be a fake. I want to just shout out to everyone what is happening but I have too much respect for myself to stoop to his level.
I keep telling myself that God doesn't give us more than we can handle but right now I am having a hard time believing this and coping. I have been praying a lot. I know there is a lesson and a plan He has for the reasons I am going through all this. Just hard to be patient.
So my inspiritational Sunday message isn't so inspiritational.
Sorry
Since my last post my husband and I split every day between visiting FIL whom we admitted to hospice and work. But there are so many other things that totally fill our time, some days I just want to have everything go away and just hide. One of those things is we had to make the difficult decision to euthanize our beloved cat 5 year old Trouble. Just 3 weeks prior to making that decision, Trouble was diagnosed with a bladder infection. Trouble recuperated fine after a round of antibiotics or so we thought. A week after he took the last antibiotic he became listless again. We fed him syringes of water and isolated him from the other cats. A mere 6 hours later we rushed him to the Emergency Vet who diagnosed him with bladder stones and in acute renal failure. Since he was so young, we decided to treat by having the vet put in a catheter and give him IV fluids. He didn't respond. His kidney failure was too much so we made the difficult decision to put him out of his pain. We picked up his ashes yesterday. His blood brother misses him but we all do.
On top of the above, we are dealing with the complications of trusting our software vendor who we thought was a friend. There is the Attorney General of 2 states and a legal firm and our lawyer trying to help us sort out a huge mess. I feel betrayed. What I thought was a 21 + year friendship based on ethics, honesty, and mutual respect has turned out to be a fake. I want to just shout out to everyone what is happening but I have too much respect for myself to stoop to his level.
I keep telling myself that God doesn't give us more than we can handle but right now I am having a hard time believing this and coping. I have been praying a lot. I know there is a lesson and a plan He has for the reasons I am going through all this. Just hard to be patient.
So my inspiritational Sunday message isn't so inspiritational.
Sorry
Friday, July 18, 2014
Feeling Overwhelmed
Ever feel totally overwhelmed? That describes me for the past 6 months. I have been doing a lot of praying and reflection. I have been taking steps in my life to lessen my burden and get back on track and there are days even weeks where I really believe I am turning the corner.
But then there are days or a combination of days when I seem to take leaps backwards and start to wonder if it is really all worth it.
A few quotes have been helping:
"Whenever you do not understand what's happening in your life, just close your eyes, take a deep breath and say, "God I know this is Your plan just help me through it. "
"I know God will not give me anything that I can't handle. I just wish He didn't trust me so much. "
Sometimes these help. Prayers help. And sometimes like tonight, sleep helps. Tomorrow comes the promise of a new day and hopefully, a lightening of my load.
But then there are days or a combination of days when I seem to take leaps backwards and start to wonder if it is really all worth it.
A few quotes have been helping:
"Whenever you do not understand what's happening in your life, just close your eyes, take a deep breath and say, "God I know this is Your plan just help me through it. "
"I know God will not give me anything that I can't handle. I just wish He didn't trust me so much. "
Sometimes these help. Prayers help. And sometimes like tonight, sleep helps. Tomorrow comes the promise of a new day and hopefully, a lightening of my load.
Sunday, June 22, 2014
Promises Kept - #8 Inlaws
I looked over the rest of what I needed to post about and figured this might be both the easiest yet the hardest.
It is hard to see someone you know no longer know who you are. FIL is living in the 1940's we think. He vacillates but doesn't have a clue who his wife is, his 2 children nor their wives, nor his 2 grandchildren. He has no clue his granddaughter got married and he now has a great granddaughter.
If you ask him how he is, he says fine - his pat answer. Ask him how the Bears or the Cubs are doing and he gives his pat answer: "They could do better" which interestingly enough is always correct. Ask him who we are and he looks at us, says he should know, but then puts his hand over his head and says "Whoosh"! That is his answer if he has to give any answer. He now has to be reminded to eat and that even though he is thirsty he can't put his head under the faucet to drink. He doesn't know he isn't allowed to get out of bed and go climb into another resident's bed. He is living in his own world. Sometimes I wonder what that would be like but then realize I would have no idea because I wouldn't know any better or anything actually. It is hard to visit with him now yet we go - more for us I think, knowing that although he has no clue we are there, we do and for us that is all that matters. I think we all feel that it is what we would want happen to us if this ever does happen to us. It gives us comfort of some measure. He is now 96 and I have no idea how he has lasted this long. His heart is only functioning at a 13% level. He is always out of breath.
Now MIL - it is said and proven that as one ages, they revert back in time. While most revert back to say their native language, my MIL has reverted back to a back stabbing vicious speaking nasty smelly woman. OMG does she smell!!! Half the problem is that she constantly dribbles urine. She recognizes this but won't wear pads. Instead she takes washcloths and uses them and interchanges them throughout the day, leaving the urine soaked ones laying anyway and everywhere - tables, floors, kitchen counters, you name it you will find one or more. We went to pick her up for Mother's Day lunch and we made her change her clothes 4 times before she came out in something that didn't smell like urine. She has no idea she smells. We have had to enforce shower or bath days because she will go weeks without bathing and uses spray Lysol to try and cover up the smells. She has ruined 3 cell phones I gave her. I refuse to give her another - cheap prepaid ones are less costly. She doesn't use them anyway. She exposed film in her camera to get it out so she could develop it to show FIL pictures of their great granddaughter's 1st birthday party. She was pissed it didn't work and was screaming at the poor store's worker that he is the one who screwed up her pictures. That was another hour trip out to handle and another hour there then an hour home. Her other son and my husband still won't put her in a home - no clue why - so I have pretty well wiped my hands of her.
Things came to a head for granddaughter's 1st birthday party. My husband insisted she come so he drove the hour out to get her and the hour back to the party where he dumped her next to me to watch. She proceeded to dump a full cup of lemonade all over a wood antique coffee table which went onto a carpet then onto a wood floor. She then went to the formal dining room where my family was sitting and peed on the chairs there, then to the kitchen table where she peed there. I finally had enough and told husband to take her home. We are still at a standstill on what to do with her. She forgets to take pills and my pill counts I do monthly for her are off. Oh the pills are not there but they are put back into bottles or she hoards them in other places so when the other son goes over she refills her bottles with the pills she doesn't take. She is also still going around to any open house at places she has no intention of buying into (assisted living places or retirement centers) just to get free food. Yes she still drives. It took her 14 times to pass her latest drivers test. She was proud she finally did. I question the state facility in that they let that lady keep her license while she was retaking the test. But does this prompt either son to put her into an assisted place yet? Nope.....not even the fact that she leaves gas burners on all the time on the stove or microwaves metal items. Want to know what she gave her only great granddaughter for her birthday? Not money like normal people would - no my MIL went to the Salvation Army and bought statues that were broken for her then bragged about how cheap they were.
**sigh**
It is hard to see someone you know no longer know who you are. FIL is living in the 1940's we think. He vacillates but doesn't have a clue who his wife is, his 2 children nor their wives, nor his 2 grandchildren. He has no clue his granddaughter got married and he now has a great granddaughter.
If you ask him how he is, he says fine - his pat answer. Ask him how the Bears or the Cubs are doing and he gives his pat answer: "They could do better" which interestingly enough is always correct. Ask him who we are and he looks at us, says he should know, but then puts his hand over his head and says "Whoosh"! That is his answer if he has to give any answer. He now has to be reminded to eat and that even though he is thirsty he can't put his head under the faucet to drink. He doesn't know he isn't allowed to get out of bed and go climb into another resident's bed. He is living in his own world. Sometimes I wonder what that would be like but then realize I would have no idea because I wouldn't know any better or anything actually. It is hard to visit with him now yet we go - more for us I think, knowing that although he has no clue we are there, we do and for us that is all that matters. I think we all feel that it is what we would want happen to us if this ever does happen to us. It gives us comfort of some measure. He is now 96 and I have no idea how he has lasted this long. His heart is only functioning at a 13% level. He is always out of breath.
Now MIL - it is said and proven that as one ages, they revert back in time. While most revert back to say their native language, my MIL has reverted back to a back stabbing vicious speaking nasty smelly woman. OMG does she smell!!! Half the problem is that she constantly dribbles urine. She recognizes this but won't wear pads. Instead she takes washcloths and uses them and interchanges them throughout the day, leaving the urine soaked ones laying anyway and everywhere - tables, floors, kitchen counters, you name it you will find one or more. We went to pick her up for Mother's Day lunch and we made her change her clothes 4 times before she came out in something that didn't smell like urine. She has no idea she smells. We have had to enforce shower or bath days because she will go weeks without bathing and uses spray Lysol to try and cover up the smells. She has ruined 3 cell phones I gave her. I refuse to give her another - cheap prepaid ones are less costly. She doesn't use them anyway. She exposed film in her camera to get it out so she could develop it to show FIL pictures of their great granddaughter's 1st birthday party. She was pissed it didn't work and was screaming at the poor store's worker that he is the one who screwed up her pictures. That was another hour trip out to handle and another hour there then an hour home. Her other son and my husband still won't put her in a home - no clue why - so I have pretty well wiped my hands of her.
Things came to a head for granddaughter's 1st birthday party. My husband insisted she come so he drove the hour out to get her and the hour back to the party where he dumped her next to me to watch. She proceeded to dump a full cup of lemonade all over a wood antique coffee table which went onto a carpet then onto a wood floor. She then went to the formal dining room where my family was sitting and peed on the chairs there, then to the kitchen table where she peed there. I finally had enough and told husband to take her home. We are still at a standstill on what to do with her. She forgets to take pills and my pill counts I do monthly for her are off. Oh the pills are not there but they are put back into bottles or she hoards them in other places so when the other son goes over she refills her bottles with the pills she doesn't take. She is also still going around to any open house at places she has no intention of buying into (assisted living places or retirement centers) just to get free food. Yes she still drives. It took her 14 times to pass her latest drivers test. She was proud she finally did. I question the state facility in that they let that lady keep her license while she was retaking the test. But does this prompt either son to put her into an assisted place yet? Nope.....not even the fact that she leaves gas burners on all the time on the stove or microwaves metal items. Want to know what she gave her only great granddaughter for her birthday? Not money like normal people would - no my MIL went to the Salvation Army and bought statues that were broken for her then bragged about how cheap they were.
**sigh**
Sunday, June 15, 2014
Inspirational Sunday - Happy Father's Day!
Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms - to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one's own way.I subscribe to a daily inspirational quote and this was today's. At first it provoked a lot of deep thoughts and internal reflection. Then it came to me. This is so appropriate to be today's quote for me.
By Victor Frankl
I 'walk to my own drummer' so to speak. Always have. Always will. Even the name of this blog is My View, My Opinion, My Blog. There was a reason I named it that. My thought processes have always been different.
I acknowledge that this is Father's Day. I honor the man who gave me birth. Do I call him Dad? Yes. But was he ever a father to me? No. I was physically and mentally abused by him. I learned to forgive him years ago but I never have forgotten. I have a hard time feeling "mushy" toward him. I will hug him. I will call him every week or so and I did call him for Father's Day although as usual we got into an argument because I disagreed with him on the definition of what the Affordable Care Act's definition of a wellness check means. Did I get through to him? No way. He has his own definitions and at almost 81 is right regardless of how wrong he is. But would I ever consider doing anything with him for Father's Day? No! As for my husband's father - he has very advanced dementia. We saw him last week. His other son was visiting today since he can't have many visitors at the same time.
Instead I honor my husband who was there for our kids. Who noticed what they did - both for their failures and their accomplishments and loved them anyway. We have 2 very different children. And now we have a grandchild. The husband of my daughter (my son-in-law) and thus my daughter and now my granddaughter are never with us for any holiday - they are with his parents. This works for my daughter and works for my husband and I. We celebrated doing what my husband loves today: getting the week's chores done because there is no other day to do them in with working 6 days a week. That is our choice. We don't go boating nor do we own a boat or a vacation home nor do we spend money on that type of thing. My daughter thinks we are boring. That is her choice to make.
Instead we all went to church together this morning then came home and I made breakfast, In the afternoon my husband and son and I chipped in and did the work together as a family: by mowing the grass, grocery shopping for the week, then my son grilled chicken on the grill and shucked the corn on the cob while I made mashed potatoes and cooked the corn. Dessert was brownies. Our son gave his dad a card. I gave my husband a homemade card. Right now we are doing laundry.
A very good day, being who we are, and being a family, without fuss or glory, yet we made it a special day for my husband.
Saturday, May 17, 2014
Promises Kept -4th/5th/6th/7th/11th/14th/15th/16th
I combined all the above because they all had the same theme running in them: work, employees, and how either and both affected my husband and I as a couple.
It has almost been a year since my last post. There are reasons for that and all of them center around the above - work and employees. It began the beginning of April last year when an employee of 12 years quit. No notice. She worked that day and after the last patient left, she handed my husband her resignation effective immediately. Yep no notice. My husband and I had been at the funeral of one of his uncles that day and didn't even begin our day until 4 that afternoon. I didn't even bother going into work that day because my husband was only going to see the few patients that needed to be seen. I stayed home to cook dinner. Then I got a phone call and answered it thinking it was my husband telling me he was on his way home. It was the employee that had quit. She thought I should know too I guess. But her conversation with me and her excuses didn't sit well with me especially since I had known her and her mom for 34 years and her mother had been an employee of ours too until she retired. She offered to give me 2 half days and one full work day of notice in the following 2 weeks. My gut and mouth said no don't bother. I no longer trusted her nor respected her. Her quitting had in fact did me a huge favor: I could stop documenting all her mistakes and problematic attitude and constant interference in my marriage. Within one month the other full time girl texted me at 6am on a Sunday morning and said she had left the keys and office items in one of our offices and she was flying to take care of her grandmother. I wasn't surprised nor upset. This is the employee who never bothered to send us a thank you for the generous wedding gift we gave her nor the crocheted one year anniversary blanket I made for her and her husband. Nope not even a verbal thank you!
Life went on and we found out both employees left the way they did because we had terminated another employee 2 years prior. I hired another girl, hired my godson for the summer who wanted to get a taste of medical experience because he wants to become a doctor, and began taking back control of the offices. The patients actually were happy both girls were gone.
But I had a mess on my hands. I never kept up on aspects of the software program we used which necessitated many hours of training. I also began going through the office organizing it because I literally could not find things. Instead of finding some semblance of order I found chaos. I still chose not to speculate if it was done deliberately or not but all I will say is that one problem between my husband and I was that I wasn't paying bills on time and not billing patient's visits on time was solved. I found invoices of said forgotten bills that I never received to pay and patient charts were found filed without billing done. I had been sabatoged. I am so glad I listened to my gut and acted like an employer instead of reacting with my heart.
So I am still in the process of finding things, learning new things, and while I still have not replaced the 2 employees, I am in no hurry either. The one girl I had hired in May quit right before Christmas. I wasn't even upset about that. Right now a part-timer, my husband, and I are handling everything. We have downsized our offices and moved 2 of them into a sharing of space with other doctors. This has worked to our benefit.
Things have never been better with my husband and I. I think he got his own eyes opened with all this and the absurd amount of supplies all over the one office in so many different places. We actually have not had to order supplies in quite a while.
So life is getting back to some order. Still haven't unpacked all the boxes we moved yet and we will probably be selling and donating quite a lot of stuff we no longer need.
But we will survive with the continued help of God.
And I hopefully can be here more often.
It has almost been a year since my last post. There are reasons for that and all of them center around the above - work and employees. It began the beginning of April last year when an employee of 12 years quit. No notice. She worked that day and after the last patient left, she handed my husband her resignation effective immediately. Yep no notice. My husband and I had been at the funeral of one of his uncles that day and didn't even begin our day until 4 that afternoon. I didn't even bother going into work that day because my husband was only going to see the few patients that needed to be seen. I stayed home to cook dinner. Then I got a phone call and answered it thinking it was my husband telling me he was on his way home. It was the employee that had quit. She thought I should know too I guess. But her conversation with me and her excuses didn't sit well with me especially since I had known her and her mom for 34 years and her mother had been an employee of ours too until she retired. She offered to give me 2 half days and one full work day of notice in the following 2 weeks. My gut and mouth said no don't bother. I no longer trusted her nor respected her. Her quitting had in fact did me a huge favor: I could stop documenting all her mistakes and problematic attitude and constant interference in my marriage. Within one month the other full time girl texted me at 6am on a Sunday morning and said she had left the keys and office items in one of our offices and she was flying to take care of her grandmother. I wasn't surprised nor upset. This is the employee who never bothered to send us a thank you for the generous wedding gift we gave her nor the crocheted one year anniversary blanket I made for her and her husband. Nope not even a verbal thank you!
Life went on and we found out both employees left the way they did because we had terminated another employee 2 years prior. I hired another girl, hired my godson for the summer who wanted to get a taste of medical experience because he wants to become a doctor, and began taking back control of the offices. The patients actually were happy both girls were gone.
But I had a mess on my hands. I never kept up on aspects of the software program we used which necessitated many hours of training. I also began going through the office organizing it because I literally could not find things. Instead of finding some semblance of order I found chaos. I still chose not to speculate if it was done deliberately or not but all I will say is that one problem between my husband and I was that I wasn't paying bills on time and not billing patient's visits on time was solved. I found invoices of said forgotten bills that I never received to pay and patient charts were found filed without billing done. I had been sabatoged. I am so glad I listened to my gut and acted like an employer instead of reacting with my heart.
So I am still in the process of finding things, learning new things, and while I still have not replaced the 2 employees, I am in no hurry either. The one girl I had hired in May quit right before Christmas. I wasn't even upset about that. Right now a part-timer, my husband, and I are handling everything. We have downsized our offices and moved 2 of them into a sharing of space with other doctors. This has worked to our benefit.
Things have never been better with my husband and I. I think he got his own eyes opened with all this and the absurd amount of supplies all over the one office in so many different places. We actually have not had to order supplies in quite a while.
So life is getting back to some order. Still haven't unpacked all the boxes we moved yet and we will probably be selling and donating quite a lot of stuff we no longer need.
But we will survive with the continued help of God.
And I hopefully can be here more often.
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