Family Gift Exchanges

I don't know how other families work it but in our family there is a family gift exchange. We used to separate the kids from the adults. Let me note here there are 44 in the family now. The original 6 of us siblings plus 5 spouses. Then there is my father and his wife. Next is 23 grandkids with their spouses, and finally the 8 great grandkids. Quite a group now.

We only see each other twice a year - once at Christmas and the other mid-summer for a weekend. Back to Christmas. So as I said before we used to separate the kids from the adults and had 2 exchanges until the number of adults exceeded the number of kids under 18 so we decided to put all the names into a hat and do a total exchange. When my mother was alive she handled this and our limit was set at $25.00. Yes one could go over by a little but no more than $5.00 max. If you found a bargain and the price ended up to be $15 instead of $25.00 that was fine as long as the price of the gift was $25.00.

My mother passed away in 2010. Much has changed. I wanted to keep it the same price because I felt this was a 'side' gift and should never trump what was spent by either a parent or grandparent. Nope, didn't have a say in this! Actually it was voted on without my knowledge. I didn't approve. I had seen gift prices creeping up over the years and the problem was the kids were excited to get certain people's names but not mine because I spent what was pre-determined. Then I noticed a pattern. Gift prices were up to $50-$100 and the same people got the same people. With 44 of us, how is that possible to continuously get the same people without cheating. Once I drew a 10 year old's name and she went to her mother and I ended up with who her mother had and the kid got one of the people who spends the $100.00.

Now I spend a max of $100 per child and our grandchild. Period. I don't feel the gift giving/opening presents should encompass an all day thing and in our family it does. Each person opens their present in age order and we all ohhh and ahhhh over it then it is on to the next person. Do that 44 times and you have added 4 hours to the day. Now add a full turkey and ham dinner and dishes and prep and you have another 4 hours. Way too long to have any time to interact between other members of the family that live in other states.

I am so tired of the crap going on in the family that I had already taken my name out of the drawing. My sister and her family did too. Part of her family made it to dinner. Our daughter went but the rest of us were all sick with the flu so we didn't go. Have no idea what went on but guess the person who married my father basically said she didn't want his kids in HER house anymore. Ummm.....she lives there since she is married to my father. But that house is already in trust to us kids. It is not her house. I heard she changed locks (my dad didn't even know about it and was pissed when he found out).

But I think we are retiring to Colorado and never coming back after my husband's mother passes. There is nothing here left for me anymore. Even our kids want to move there. Gift exchanges? Nope not doing it.