I confess. I read the obituaries every day in 3 papers and once a week in 3 other papers. Most people who admit that they read them daily say that they do so to ensure that they are not amongst those listed (yeah right! - sounds good). But that's not why I read them.
The 3 once a week are those from the hometowns of my MIL and parents to see if any of either my or my husband's relatives have passed. They are once a week because that is how many times per week that paper is published (kinda makes it nice and easy on me). The 3 papers I read daily are local papers and the Chicago Tribune to see if any of our patients are in it. Once I started doing it many moons ago, I find I now do it because I have to. If I go anywhere, when I get home, I check out each paper for every day I was gone. Sometimes, I am very covert about indulging this little perversion when I am around others. Some call me weird.
I actually find obituaries interesting. I am always astonished at how much they tell about someone yet don't. Yes, they give you details about the person and who their relatives are, but they never tell you about the person - why they died, what they liked, etc. They are usually brief and to the point, citing specifics only. But in those specifics you find out they were say a war veteran, or attended a specific church, or liked a particular charity and I make up the rest in my mind.
I like the wordy ones and those with a photo - but not one of when they were 20 yet died when they were 90 - that to me is just wrong.
So then I began to wonder what would happen if I died. Who would write my obituary and what would it say? Would my survivors pay the extra money for a lengthier and more personalized tribute? Would they include a photo of me and, if so, at what age? And who would see it? Would anyone from my past see my name and perhaps my photo and think of me - perhaps a thought with a memory attached? What about people who knew of me, but who never spoke to me, like people from high school or grade school for example?
I got the idea then - why can't I write my own obituary? It would be my chance to say what I want others to know about me and I would get the last say in who I am. So I did it plus I write a letter to my kids and husband once a year. They are in sealed envelopes in my will envelope in our safe. I have even gone as far as picked out my favorite songs I want played during my service and where the service would be and who would officiate.
People might call me morbid. I say that we are all living on borrowed time. Why not leave a living legacy for your survivors - a piece of yourself - have the last word?
Plus we all know I like having the last word!
