My halo becomes tarnished every now and then. I know why but won't change the way I am. This is one way I think it becomes nice and polished again - or at least I hope I am earning some brownie points somewhere.
This is just a few of the conversations and the way I spent Friday with the inlaws, taking them for their doctor appointments then to lunch.
Picking up FIL:
Me: "Hi, L, are you ready to go?"
FIL: "Well, hi there. It is nice to see you! Where are we going? Where is my wife?"
Me: "Your wife is in the car. We are going to see the doctor then go get some lunch."
FIL: "Who are you?"
Me: "Who do you think I am? Do you remember my name?"
FIL: "Well, I think you are Gina."
Me: "No, I am your daughter-in-law and married to one of your sons."
FIL: "Okay, Gina."
Me: "My name is not Gina. My name is V. Now let's get ready to leave. Where is your cane?"
FIL: "Where are we going? Where is my wife? Who are you?"
Me: "Your wife is in the car. Let's go see her." I grabbed his cane and walked him outside to the car where he sees his wife.
FIL: "Oh there you are." (seeing his wife) "Gina is here. Who is driving my car?"
Me: "I am V, remember? The person driving your car is your grandson, J."
Except for the where is my wife, this was repeated as soon as the above sentence was finished, until we arrived at the doctor's office.
We are now inside the doctor's office where he turns into this quiet non-questioning person who seems to be as lucid as I am (although at this point I doubt my lucidity). MIL goes for an x-ray for her hip (she neglected to mention to me that she had fallen down the basement stairs a few days prior and she is complaining of groin pain.) FIL and I stayed in the exam room.
FIL looking at the top of the desk next to his chair, sees a tube of KY jelly and picks it up and reads the label. He quickly puts it back down again and says: "Is this for me? I know where they use that."
Me: "No, it was out for another person" (not wanting to mention it was for MIL).
FIL: "Good." He then proceeds to wipe his brown, then sits quietly with his hands folded for 1 minute, then looks over to the top of the desk, sees the tube of KY, picks it up, reads the label, and the whole conversation repeats. EVERY MINUTE.
Oh and he was still on calling me Gina.
We then went to TGIF's and when I asked him what he wanted to eat, we went into the hamburger with cheese that is not a cheeseburger routine again.
So the entire day he is calling me Gina. But for some unknown reason only known to a dementia mind, he remembers the KY jelly and repeats the KY jelly conversation the rest of the day.
Now let's go to MIL. Remember I said she had fallen down the stairs? Well, there was a strong urine smell at the house when I picked her up. I went over some of the things she had written down for the doctor (10 pages long) which all basically came down to 5 points. It was in this note that I found out she had fallen and found out she had become incontinent of urine. It seems she has been using hand towels as a diaper then wraps the outside with grocery bags so the towel filled with urine doesn't leak. When I asked her why she doesn't just get pads for that purpose - she responds that this is cheaper. As to why she is incontinent - that is another matter.
So her x-ray came back normal with just arthritis. I had visions of her having broken her hip and me living with them for a while. So she ended up with more medications which she was protesting and I pretty well told her that I was going to be monitoring her prescription refills at the pharmacy and if anything was not refilled (things she has been doing), that I would put her into a home too. She protested and said I couldn't do that. I said, try me. (She was not filling her heart medication or her anxiety medication because they were too expensive. Her son, hub's brother, took charge of all her bills, etc and we have allotted the money for the medications.) As a result of her not filling her prescriptions, her medical condition has declined, which has led to her incontinence and probable another stroke and also there was too much strain on her heart. It also has resulted her in anxiety levels being so high that she is not sleeping but instead calling me around 10-20 times a day and into the night. The doctor also upped FIL's memory drugs although they are just to hold him, not improve the short term memory that is gone and will never return.
Another interesting thing we learned yesterday - at the group dementia home FIL is in, when one tries to open the front door, the door knob falls off thus preventing us from exiting the front door. We had just thought it was broken until one of the owners told us why it was like that. Seems FIL learned how to unlock the protective locks at the top of the door and would try to 'go home' when he went into sundown syndrome. So the owners deliberately removed the screw to the door knob so he can't get out but others can get in. The sliding glass door and the door into the garage he hasn't figured out yet.
I then went to my own doctor's appointment and after another diagnostic injection in my ankle, surgery for 9-24 was set.
I think I might have earned wings today along with polishing my halo. I just hope Gina didn't get the polishing instead of me.
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