Dementia - Dentist

I bet you are wondering what those two have in common. Well, they have my inlaws in common. Today son and I took them to get their flu shots then to the dentist to get their teeth cleaned.

Hubs has been at a surgical symposium for the past 3 days which was great for me to get things done around the house that I don't have time to do while working, to make some dishes that are usually reserved for days off because they are time involved, and then today when son and I were with the inlaws.

FIL's dementia has increased. He only recognized his wife but didn't know her name -just called her wife. I turned from a Gina into a Jeannie and son turned into a Dennis. No clue where any of those names came from except the Gina (she was a bridesmaid in my inlaw's wedding). Most of the time I deliberately schedule his visits to doctors, etc during the lunch hour so we can take him out for lunch and have him to his home before 3pm when his sundown tends to hit. Unfortunately, the dentist appointment today we could not change so it was after 4pm when we were done.

Getting the flu shot was no different than his normal 1-2 minute short term memory span. The dentist though was a whole different ballgame.

Getting your teeth cleaned involves holding still while the hygienist cleans your teeth. No problem usually unless you have a child or you have a dementia patient whose mental alertness has sharply declined. He kept interrupting the girl and kept trying to leave the chair. I finally got him to stay by just talking non-stop about anything and everything but repeating the fact that we were at the dentist, he was getting his teeth cleaned, and he couldn't talk until she was done - so he could remember for the next minute.

Finally we were done and the dentist came in to check his teeth and pointed out that he has 3 new cavities and wants us to schedule another appointment to take care of them. So I delivered FIL to MIL and son and told son to watch them both and I went back to talk to the dentist. I patiently explained that FIL is 91, that he could hear and see the dementia, that the cleaning was hard enough to get through, that FIL's heart is failing, and was it really truly necessary to attempt to fill those 3 cavities? I mean what is the worst that could happen? They were small cavities. The dentist said that we just have him brush and floss more and if FIL developed an abscess then we would have to fill the cavities. Fine - sure - okay - let's make the 6 month appointment.

In the meantime, FIL is giving son and MIL a hard time in the waiting room. I overhear son telling his grandfather that I would be right out and then take him home (where he wanted to go). MIL had her leg over FIL's legs holding him down in the chair. Appointment made, bill paid, and son and I took them home. FIL told us this isn't the way home. I said: "Well, I need to stop real quick at someone's house to drop something off but I promise to be quick". He relented. But to give you an idea of how confused he was today - thank goodness for childproof locks on the back doors of cars otherwise FIL would have had the door open every time we stopped at a light.

We get to his house and I tell him that we have to go in to give them what I had for them (in reality him but he didn't realize that). He protested at first saying all he wanted to do was go home and I said: "Well, I think you will like going inside but I promise I will only stay a minute". He bought it and didn't catch on that I wasn't staying. We went in. Now usually he doesn't recognize the outside of the home where he is living but once inside he is fine. Today we were in full sundown syndrome at 4pm and he didn't recognize anyone or anything in the house. Thank goodness for dementia and the 1 minute memory because one of the aids was able to distract him with his 'package' (his new toothbrush and floss) and we were able to escape without histrionics.

Son and I dropped off MIL and made sure her pills were okay since she has a tendency to not take them, and urge her to fill the prescription for the Detrol which we put her on a few weeks ago and was working (she was no longer incontinent). I heated her up the meatloaf and au gratin potatoes I brought her and sliced a tomato from our garden so she had dinner. Then son and I took off for home.

I didn't realize how much repeating myself for FIL had affected me until son says not 5 minutes after we were back in the car: "Uh, mom, I have a brain and can remember. I don't need to be told how to get home every 2 minutes."

Dementia might be contagious.

But seeing how much FIL has declined over the past 3 weeks was hard even logically knowing that he will eventually get to a point he won't recognize anyone. I can't even imagine what it is like for his spouse of 61 years to see it.