Christ said, "There will be more joy in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who need no repentance" (Luke 15:7). Muhammad taught, "A sincere repenter of faults is like him who has committed none."
A quote from Bishop Robert South: "True repentance has a double aspect; it looks upon things past with a weeping eye, and upon the future with a watchful eye."
Whenever I hear the word apologize I think immediately of da' Fonz....who couldn't for the life of him get the words "I'm sorry" to come from his mouth.
The perfect moment to apologize is the moment you realize you've done something wrong. But how many of us really see that we did wrong? We try to protect ourselves from the shame of being wrong and will lie, blame others, and just plain make excuses to justify our actions. It is far easier to see that someone else did wrong. The impulse to wait to see if it will all just blow over though is a sign that you really don't want to say you're sorry. If you can see that, it is time to acknowledge you are wrong.
The theory of apologizing is greater than you can imagine. Just like the Fonz...it is hard to get those words out. But they are 2 of the most powerful words in our vocabulary. It is because of our imperfections that we say and do hurtful things to another. Know that an apology cannot undo the harm already done, but a true apology restores the dignity of the victim. Now the Fonz wouldn't apologize because he saw it as a sign of weakness. He felt that if he did, he handed over power to another. But in reality, refusing to apologize is to refuse to do the right thing and is not a sign of strength but a sign of weakness. After all, one who refuses to say they're sorry acts out of fear, but one who admits they were wrong and asks for forgiveness acts out of courage.
Do you ever wonder how different the world might be if we said "I'm sorry" more? We humans are fragile and imperfect creatures. We are delicate and should be handled with care. Harsh words, critical looks, angry shoves, ignoring requests, etc shatter the person to whom it is directed.
An apology isn't complete unless we take all of the following steps. 1) Apologize quickly because you do not know how soon it will be too late. 2) Admit what you did. 3) Express your sorrow. 4) Be sincere by speaking from the heart and feeling the other's pain. 5) Give the other the opportunity to vent their feelings. 6) Make up for the harm you've done by taking corrective action, offering compensation, or making restitution. 7) Learn from the experience. 8) If your victim accepts your apology, accept their pardon with gratitude.
Apologizing doesn't make us perfect, but it shows our commitment to be honest about our imperfections and steadfast in our efforts to do better. An effective apology is an act of honesty, an act of humility, an act of commitment, an act of generosity, and an act of courage.
What prompted this post? My own experiences with my dental hell. Patients sue for many reasons but basically unless the doctor is totally incompetent, it boils down to communication and it isn't just communication between the doctor and the patient but also the communication of the entire office. You don't realize how many doctors I refuse to go to just because of the office staff. You can be the best greatest doctor of all but if you and/or your office staff are rude or disrespectful I won't go back to see you. If you make me wait, you are disrespecting my time and value.
An apology. That is all I wanted. A simple cknowledgement that how I was treated was wrong. A simple I'm sorry. A simple your case is more complicated than I can handle. Those I would accept. Studies show that if doctors apologized to their patients when they have made a medical error, there would be a lower rate of medical malpractice. In the past I never quite understood this because many many things go into a medical malpractice suit, but now I understand. I am beyond angry. All I want to do is sue.
