I am sure I am not the only one who has ever felt anxious. As a parent we feel anxiety as soon as our child is born. We worry about our kids every minute of their lives. If you are a new parent and think that worry will lessen as they age....you can't be more wrong. It increases with driving, dating, moving away, etc.
Lately, I have been having anxiety attacks. I don't mean the kind where we dream we run out of the house without any clothes on...or worry we are going to get into a test and forget everything we ever learned.....or worry about a big dinner or party we are putting on and worry you are going to poison your guests or the souffle will fall or your timing would be off on your things you are making or will forget to get something you made out of the frig....or worry if a family event will turn out ok and you say what you really felt to some members of said family you can't stand.....or worry you forgot to turn off the stove or coffeepot or lock the dooots.....or you forget who you are in front of a crowd of people and worry you won't be able to utter a sound or sound intelligent. I have had those all my life. I remember once someone told me to think of the audience naked. Ok that never worked on me. Instead of remembering why I was there I saw the audience naked in my mind and all I could do was bust out laughing.
I digress. When you get one of those attacks, they are full blown heart pounding, butterflies in your stomach, thoughts that overwhelm you so much that it is the only thing you can think of. And if yours are like mine, they are usually blown out of proportion to what is really going on.
Yesterday I had a major one. It all started when I was at the hairdresser and without glasses or facing the TV (this is important). I was listening to a news program. The salon I go to was busy and there was a lot of chatter going on. I was listening to the news. There was a story about a woman missing in a town. Now normally that wouldn't faze me at all. This story did. I have a friend whose first name was the same as the missing woman. They both lived/worked in the same town. The police were actually interviewing the husband of the missing woman as a suspect. In my mind, I instantly thought it was my friend. I started thinking (which sometimes is a bad thing with me). I couldn't stop thinking about it.
My husband picked me up at the salon and took me to the chiropractor. I scooted in to see them with this still weighing on my mind. I was trying to remember when I last saw her post and for the life of me couldn't remember. I started worrying big time about her. I put into my mind that this missing woman was my friend. By the time my husband came back to pick me up, I was a basket case. Immediately I got on my cell and in a panic, called another friend to get the last name of the woman who was missing. I could have waited the 15 minutes to get back home to do it myself. But no, I just had to know right then and there. I had already been worrying for over 2 hours. I was not waiting 10 more minutes.
Thank goodness for my friend. She calmly looked the story up and we found out it wasn't our mutual friend. Let me tell you, the feeling of peace and life was ok again so totally overwhelmed me that I swear I could have fallen asleep. I didn't realize how worked up I had gotten until that moment.
I blame them on my inability to live and function as I used to and the daily frustrations I experience just getting around. It does not get better after even 7 weeks and I have 5 more months to go.
