Training Your Children/Animals

So somehow I managed to raise 2 kids halfway decently. We both survived through all the phases of childhood - the terrible 2's and the tantrums, the grade school need to be like each other, the tween years of bad hair days, the teenage years of PMS days and parties and according to them being grounded most of the life, and into the adult years when I have managed to get one out of the house but trying to make life miserable so the other one will leave too. Yeah, don't think I did so bad.

Then why do I suck at training animals? Demon kitten lives up to his name of Trouble. Blowing in his face when he uses his claws on me as a scratching post or spraying water in his face when he bites my toes or making a loud noise or rattling rocks in a can does not phase him in the least. I know we are to get cats used to water when they are young but Trouble has absolutely no problem with water. In fact, he has learned how to slide open the shower door and get in the shower with you.

That was his newest trick and my surprise of the day. Me stark naked sans glasses so I can't see, encountering fur in the shower (don't go there). Twasn't pleasant.

This cat loves water. This cat loves to do anything possible to annoy me. This cat thinks that anything I bring into the room to drink is a communal cup. This cat thinks that when he can't jump up enough to get onto my vanity stool to get into my makeup, that it is perfectly okay to dig its claws into my legs and climb up.

I realize Trouble was born on 8-1-09 and thus still an infant but can't he be a bit quieter? I know this total frustration I feel with him is just my age and thus why people my age don't have kids.

But then he turns me into a big pile of doo when he lays in my arms purring and snuggling as close as he can get to me.

Sigh........maybe he's just training me.

Recipe Tuesday - Chicken Marsala

Ingredients:

1 Package (1 ½ lbs) Thin Sliced Boneless Skinless Chicken Breast
½ Teaspoon Ground Thyme
3 Tablespoons Olive Oil
1 Package of Sliced Mushrooms
¼ Cup Beef Broth
3 Tablespoons Marsala Wine
½ Cup Grated Parmesan Cheese
Italian Bread Crumbs
Cooked and Drained Spaghetti

1) Coat chicken breasts with bread crumbs
2) In large skillet, over medium heat, add oil and mushrooms – cook and stir 2-3 minutes
3) With slotted spoon, remove mushrooms and set aside
4) Add chicken to skillet and spring with Thyme, salt and pepper
5) Cook chicken about 5 minutes on both sides until lightly browned
6) Remove chicken and keep warm
7) With wooden spoon or spatula, stir beef broth and wine into skillet,
scraping bottom to incorporate browned bits
8) Return chicken to skillet, top with mushrooms and spoon pan juices over all
9) Reduce heat to low and simmer 5-10 minutes until chicken is cooked through
10) Serve over top of spaghetti noodles and sprinkle with parmesan cheese

Double Entendre aka Double Meanings

The above was seen on a church sign and a perfect example of a Double Entendre!

A Double Entendre is a word or phrase which can be taken at least two different ways. Typically one meaning is obvious even to me and the other is actually usually sexual in nature. Even jokes go ****WHOOSH***** right over the top of my head. Their popularity comes from the fact that if you don't get it, you won't realize something dirty just happened. (I will admit the sign had me going the sexual way and not the innocent way).

Disney is famous for double entendres - they keep their movies or shows 'family friendly' by allowing children to appreciate the joke on one level but most adults enjoy it an another level all together (note I said most adults). I am one of those who doesn't get it until I have it pointed out to me. Maybe because I am so innocent and think such pure thoughts all the time. If you believe that I have some swampland to sell you . But really, I actually never knew until researching this topic that Disney is one of the most famous for the double entendres which is why their movies appeal to both young and old.

I remember the first time I watched Shrek - I got that one right away. I couldn't believe my nieces and nephews raving about it. I looked at them like they sprouted horns and had grown up or knew a whole lot more than I did at their age. Then they talked about the jokes as they understood them and I realized we weren't even on the same page let alone saw the same things.

FYI - a trivia fact: If someone makes a Double Entendre, but the recipient fails to see it as anything other than a literal statement, it becomes Entendre Failure. If someone makes a perfectly innocent statement that others interpret as a Double Entendre anyway, it becomes an Un Entendre. Ummm....I am usually in the failure category!

Here are some examples:

1. Groucho Marx: Animal Crackers gives him the line "We took some pictures of the native girls, but they weren't developed." and has him present Margaret Dumont with a large wooden box. While describing it as "a magnificent chest", he accidentally points at her torso.

2. Shrek's line "Do you think maybe he's compensating for something?", upon seeing Lord Faarquad's towering castle, could both be interpreted as Faarquad compensating for his height or... something else. Of course, "Lord Faarquad" itself sounds like something else entirely... Well, Faarquad's face was modeled after then-CEO Michael Eisner, and his name sounds a lot like a popular nickname that Disney employees had for Eisner at the time... So Yeah.

3. Three words: Bond. James Bond. (this is one I had to have explained to me)

4. "Kate and Leopold": the man announcing the Brooklyn bridge; "And in the future I believe men will be judged by the size of their erections!"

5. "Mr and Mrs Smith" are a little ambiguous about just how many:
Mr. Smith: I don't exactly keep count, but I would say... high fifties, low sixties. I've been around the block, but you know the important thing is—
Mrs. Smith: Three hundred and twelve.
Mr. Smith: Three hundred and twelve? How?
Mrs. Smith: Some were two at a time.
(For those not in the know: they were discussing how many people they'd killed, not slept with. Yeah I was one not in the know - hubs explained it to me.)

6. "Who's the black private dick that's a sex machine to all the chicks? Shaft!"

7. "Rules of Engagement" features more than a few, usually delivered by Russell. However, one of the funniest episodes features a woman who speaks in nothing but double entendres, seemingly without realising what she is doing, and this drives Russell nuts. Her best effort occurs when she is talking about the new nightclub she is starting:
"You guys should totally check out my opening. It takes a while for things to warm up down there, so try not to come too early."

8. "Two And A Half Men" is also fond of using double entendres, sometimes excessively, which shows in this example of Charlie talking to Herb in the garden.
Charlie: You know, Herb, that is a fine, fine hat.
Herb: Gotta wear it. Otherwise I freckle like a banana.
Charlie: Well... I wouldn't want your banana to get freckled.
Alan: Let's go, Charlie.
Charlie: Hang on! Hang on. We're having a real interesting conversation here. Hey Herb, tell Alan what you told me about how you plant seeds.
Herb: Well, first I make sure the soil is moist.
Charlie: Uh-huh. And tell him how you do that.
Herb: Well, I just stick my finger in the old Mother Earth. If it comes up dry, I just whip out my hose and give it a good spritz.
Charlie: And then?
Herb: And then I carefully plant the seed in the soil.
Charlie: Carefully? Why carefully?
Herb: Because if you just fling that stuff around, half of it's wasted!
Charlie: You hear that, Alan? If you fling your seed around it gets wasted.
Alan: Fascinating. Let's just go.
Charlie: Now hold on, hold on... How do you feel about bushes, Herb?
Herb: Well, I like a full bush. The way God intended.
Charlie: I like 'em trimmed. What about you, Alan?
Alan: We're going! Bye Herb.

9. Jimmy Buffett has admitted that he specifically wrote his song "Why Don't We Get Drunk And Screw", which is about, well, getting drunk and screwing, because he was sick and tired of hearing double entendres in other people's songs.

10. The Queen song "Don't Stop Me Now" is just one big Double Entendre from start to finish.
"I'm a shooting star leaping through the sky
Like a tiger, defying the laws of gravity
I'm a racing car passing by like Lady Godiva
I'm gonna go, go, go, there's no stopping me!"

11. Harry Potter fans have found dozens of unintentional (and some intentional) innuendos:
"What d'you mean, I'm not brave in bed?" said Harry, completely nonplussed.
There was a groan of bedsprings, and Harry's mattress descended a few inches as George sat down near his feet. "So, got there yet?" said George eagerly.
"He's having a go at my mother!" Seamus yelled.
"I thought not," said Snape, watching him closely. "You let me get in too far. You lost control."
"Manners, Potter," said Snape dangerously. "Now, I want you to close your eyes." Harry threw him a filthy look before doing as he was told. He did not like the idea of standing there with his eyes shut while Snape faced him, carrying a wand.
He was on all fours again on Snape's office floor.
"Well, we'll soon find out, won't we?" said Snape smoothly. "Wand out, Potter."
Harry moved into his usual position...
He came quickly, as if a white flag had come out of his wand.
Harry enters the Chamber of Secrets to find Ginny, his future wife. And has to fight a giant snake with a legendary sword. He ends the episode by flying out of a deep shaft, with Ginny hanging on to his leg.
"She tasted disgusting, worse than Gurdyroots! Okay, Ron, come here so I can do you."

12. In "Get Smart", The Chief mentions that they need to employ a new agent, unknown of KAOS who's acquired a list of all CONTROL agents and is eliminating them.
Larabee: Let me out there, sir, I have no problem exposing myself.
Agent 99: Do you ever think before you speak?
Larabee: No, I just whip it out there. Seems to work best.

There are so so many more. Do you have any good ones?

Spiritual Sunday - The Simple Things

From Ralph Marston and one of my favorite links: **http://**greatday.**com/motivate/

When you place too many conditions on your enjoyment of life, there is no enjoyment. You can end up working so much to get the conditions just right, that there's no time left to really enjoy yourself.

Let go of the need to have everything just so. Simply and fully enjoy being where you are.

In every moment there is beauty. Rather than striving to make that beauty into what you think it should be, just enjoy it as it is.

Happiness is not something you must prove. Find enjoyment in simply letting it flow.

Instead of working to do happy, be happy. See that the possibilities for joy are far greater than anything you could ever contrive.

There is plenty of joy to be lived in this moment. Let the uniqueness of the moment help you discover new ways of tasting life's real pleasures.

This is a hard concept to actually do - take joy in the simple pleasures. I try to remember to remind myself to look around and see things that I normally wouldn't see. We all get busy in life and forget to stop, look, and listen.

I was having a hard time getting up the enthusiasm and energy to attend my husband's 40th high school reunion last night. I don't really believe in reunions and have only attended mine once and left within 30 minutes - I plain didn't know anyone but 3 people there. The 3 of us with our spouses left and went out ourselves and totally enjoyed the evening. High school was a difficult time for me and I worked a lot, was in band, and didn't associate with a lot of my own classmates. So to me reunions were pointless. I even did a post about them with statistics to prove my point.

The last reunion I attended with my husband was horrific and only confirmed my opinion. Most of the people knew each other - they married within their own community and most still saw each other - so I was the odd person out. Everyone was so busy reminiscing that there wasn't room to get to know anyone else there.

Reluctantly I went last night. This year I found people who introduced themselves to me and wanted to talk to me, and these were even classmates. I learned to stop, look, and listen. I found real caring and real people who cared for each other.

So last night on our way home, I was left thinking about the differences in the last reunion with these same people I had termed snobs and this reunion. I wondered at first if the reason was that when people aged, were they more open to talk to someone else? I realized that no, it was because I took the time to stop, look, and listen to them. The more I did, the more they opened up to me. The more they opened up to me, the more I enjoyed myself. I ended up with many phone numbers and email addresses and promising people that I would contact them the next time I was going to be out helping my inlaws - that we would get together with our parents and inlaws and have lunch together. When I told my MIL today, she was ecstatic because she knows many of these people when the kids were growing up.

The simple things somehow exploded into many things that will find pleasure in not only my life, my husband's life, but other's lives as well. All because I took the time to stop, look, and listen.

Banned Books

Here is the American Library Association's list of top 10 most frequently challenged books of 2008, their author and the cited reasons:

_"And Tango Makes Three," by Justin Richardson and Peter Parnell. Reasons: anti-ethnic, anti-family, homosexuality, religious viewpoint, and unsuited to age group.

_"His Dark Materials trilogy," by Philip Pullman. Reasons: political viewpoint, religious viewpoint, and violence.

_"TTYL" (series), by Lauren Myracle. Reasons: offensive language, sexually explicit, and unsuited to age group.

_"Scary Stories" (series), by Alvin Schwartz. Reasons: occult/Satanism, religious viewpoint, and violence.

_"Bless Me, Ultima," by Rudolfo Anaya. Reasons: occult/Satanism, offensive language, religious viewpoint, sexually explicit, and violence.

_"The Perks of Being a Wallflower," by Stephen Chbosky. Reasons: drugs, homosexuality, nudity, offensive language, sexually explicit, suicide, and unsuited to age group.

_"Gossip Girl (series), by Cecily von Ziegesar. Reasons: offensive language, sexually explicit, and unsuited to age group.

_"Uncle Bobby's Wedding," by Sarah S. Brannen. Reasons: homosexuality and unsuited to age group.

_"The Kite Runner," by Khaled Hosseini. Reasons: offensive language, sexually explicit, and unsuited to age group.

_"Flashcards of My Life," by Charise Mericle Harper. Reasons: sexually explicit and unsuited to age group.

I have read "The Kite Runner", "Uncle Bobby's Wedding", "Flashcards of My Life", "The Perks of being a Wallflower", and "And Tango Makes Three" so half of them. Don't quite know what that says about me - I loved "The Kite Runner" and the others were good. Wonder if that makes me a liker of those things banned or a liker of sexually explicit books or dunno.......maybe just have eclectic tastes.

TGIF - Update on Tampon in Ear, New Kitten, and more

I don't know about any of you but I for one am going to be glad to see this week end. I had already pretty figured out it was a full moon week without looking at my calendar that keeps track for me. Sure enough, full moon due October 4, 2009 which is just 2 days from now.

Tampon update: I went back to the ENT this morning and he pulled the rest of what was still buried in my ear out. The culture he had taken on Monday was back and said I had Pseudomonas aeruginosa which is actually a common bacteria but naturally resistant to a large range of antibiotics. From Wikipedia:

It is found in soil, water, skin flora and most man-made environments throughout the world. It thrives not only in normal atmospheres, but also with little oxygen, and has thus colonised many natural and artificial environments. The symptoms of such infections are generalised inflammation and sepsis. If such colonisations occur in critical body organs such as the lungs, the urinary tract, and kidneys, the results can be fatal. Because it thrives on moist surfaces, this bacteria is also found on and in medical equipment including catheters, causing cross infections in hospitals and clinics. It is implicated in hot-tub rash.

It is also associated with acrylic nails which is how I got it - 3 weeks ago I had 2 nails with it. Acrylic nails coming off for good in 3 weeks (have to get past the fancy smancy dance first).

So although I am glad the ENT put me on a really strong antibiotic that I take orally and antibiotic ear drops that I have to put in my ear three times a day, they are doing a number on my intestines. I have been downing Probiotics and Acidophilus almost every few hours which helps but my appetite remains crappy, and I am exhausted both from the effect of the antibiotic and the antics of the 4 crazy animals which keep me up at night. But the ear was 90% better and I don't have to go back for another 3 weeks when he does a hearing test and an Eustachian tube test to see how my Meniere's is doing and to see if I lost any more hearing in my ear.

I am sure the full moon is what is affecting the animals. Yeah, that has to be why they aren't letting me sleep and think each other are a food group.

Tomorrow is hubs 40th high school reunion. He's at the first part tonight which I refused to go (it's raining and the last thing I want to do while sick is stand in the rain with a temps in the 40's watching a football game with people I don't know nor associate with and even hubs hasn't seen in over 15 years). I plan on going to bed early and finish reading book 3 of a series from Joey Hill (will report on it when I finish all 4 books). Haven't decided to go tomorrow for the dinner dance for definite - will depend on how I feel. Definitely not going to the brunch they have planned for Sunday since this is our week to help at church which is where we will be.

TGIF!

Crazy Animal House

That is our home right now.

Because the kitten still isn't declawed (we declaw the front ones only), the kitten is banned to the master bathroom. Our 12 year old female cat is on top of the fridge. The 2 bulldogs have the rule of the house (yes, we are dog sitting while their parents are on vacation, hopefully making me grandbabies).

So we play musical chairs with the animals. If we allow the kitten to come out, the dogs are locked up. The 12 year old female cat sometimes deems it okay then to come down from her perch on top of the fridge but we have "the disdain look" or the "I am chief cat look" and won't even let the kitten get close which is fine as we are trying to avoid bloodshed.

Last night, the kitten was locked in the master bathroom, the dogs were in their beds at the foot of our bed, and who decides to enter our bedroom but the cat. So the dogs go to chase the cat who manages to get the door open and escape before the dogs get there. With all the excitement which the kitten hears, he now thinks it is time to meow for us to let him out. The dogs now go to the bathroom door and head butt it, trying to open it, then start barking at the kitten who is now meowing louder. I finally get the dogs to their beds, the kitten shuts up since it doesn't hear anything, and peace reigns again for another 30 minutes when we repeat the entire scenario.

Hubs didn't hear a thing. I, however, am an exhausted new mom. I AM TOO OLD FOR THIS. I NEED MY SLEEP. I can only hope this all calms down.