I am willing to bet you all are thinking that I certifiable now. I mean I am still counting the days of not being able to walk to do anything. Then on top of that I have been posting the craziest things. I mean who talks about toilet seats?
I do. Especially when I fall into the toilet at least once a day because SOMEONE in our house "forgets" to put the seat down (not mentioning names but there are only 3 humans in this house and only one other person shares a bathroom with me). I am beginning to think he is sadistically enjoying hearing the splashing I make because he goes into his cackles whenever he hears the splash.
So I offer a logical rebuttal (no pun intended).
First and foremost - the logistics: a toilet seat is a hinged unit consisting of seat and lid which is bolted onto a toilet bowl for a flush toilet. A toilet seat consists of the seat itself, which is contoured for the user to sit on, and the lid, which covers the toilet when it is not in use. Why make a toilet seat like this if it was not going to be used properly?
So let's consider statistics: Females generally do not raise the seat for anything but cleaning, while males use it both ways. BUT the statistical analysis on how many times it is used in the lower position is 63%, therefore the seat should be left down the other 27% of the time. Clearly when considering the statistics, the normal state of the toilet seat is down. Therefore the work of putting the seat up and down should be that of the man who is the one taking the toilet seat out of it’s natural state.
Now let's consider aesthetics: a toilet is not the most attractive household appliance. Closing the lid improves its appearance and prevents things from falling into the water (like me). If the lid was not meant to be closed, then what is its purpose and why was it made?
Now let's consider the real world of what happens when said seat is in the wrong position. If the seat was down when a male does one of his functions, a wet seat results. Unpleasant and poor manners but not life threatening. However, if a female SPLASHES, repercussions will result. Of this I have great knowledge. Have you ever tried to hop on one leg using crutches, pull down your pants while carefully practicing the balance act, then lower yourself to the toilet, only to go SPLASH? So we can postulate that the seat not in the down position is a whole lot more serious.
Now let's consider what happens if the toilet seat is up and you dare to flush: did you know the spray from the toilet bowl can land several feet away? This fine spray unseen by the naked eye contains a whole lot of bacteria and viruses which can survive for hours or days and will make you sick. If you flush an average of just 5 times a day for over 1 person in the house, that means in our house, the floor and walls and everything within 6 feet will be covered in raw sewage by the end of the day. And who wants to clean the bathroom and toilet more than once a week?
In conclusion, one does not need to be told that all the criteria has been met and the toilet seat should be in the down position. For an added benefit, all males would then please the female and might - just might - not piss her off any more than the male already does.
I rest my case.
