Intelligence

Intelligence I have learned is relative. That is, it depends on the situation and what one is either learning, trying to learn, or retaining.

This afternoon I spent at inlaws. We took FIL out to lunch at a favorite Italian restaurant of his (Francesca's by the River in St Charles, IL). We then went back to his group home where I got him a few new puzzles (he loves them) and we had German Chocolate cupcakes I had made for him last night.

Then we took out one of the 500 piece puzzles I had gotten for him and started helping him put it together. For an almost 91 year old man with dementia, he's pretty smart at those puzzles. He was finding pieces for this otter I was trying to put together and finished it long before I had even realized it. So a 91 year old man beat my rear in puzzle piece finding.

Yesterday I FINALLY learned how to download books and pictures to my new Sony505 Ereader. Only took me a week to figure it out.

I got a new IPod for Christmas. It is still kicking my rear. I am trying to figure it out on my own and refuse to break down and ask my kids to do it. They are all taking bets on how long before I break and ask them to do it for me. I am determined to not let it win nor get help from my kids.

After all, I am in MENSA. I have the brains to do this. I just don't always know where I left them. Besides, I am female. I can do this.

Mother Daughter Shopping Trip

My daughter is easy. All it takes is a phone call to daughter asking her if she wants to go shopping with me. I would like to think that it is one of those special mother-daughter bonding moments, but then reality sets in and I realize it's probably more that I usually end up getting her something too. But we usually end up having a good time (now that she has grown up because those teen year shopping trips were murder - plain suicidal for me).

Our first stop was Sally's beauty shop because I needed a new curling iron (mine had finally conked and wouldn't heat). Daughter talked me into some new nail polish. I am wearing it today and the jury is still out on whether or not I like it. I usually wear a pale pink. This is a bit darker.

Next stop was Dress Barn where I needed a few tops to wear for the upcoming seminar hubs and I are going to. I am still losing weight and don't have a lot of clothes besides scrubs or super dressy. So I figured I could treat myself to a few updated tops (pants are fine since I had them in different sizes and they never go out of style). I ended up with 3 new tops and a necklace and daughter ended up with one top (was all she could find she liked although she tried really hard).

Now those who know me, know I abhor shopping and 2 stores is my max. As we started walking to the car, daughter says no and pulls me to the store next door to Dress Barn which is TJ Maxx. She says that I updated my clothes and nail polish and now I have to update my purse. I guess plain black for winter and white for summer isn't good enough anymore and they scream "OLD PERSON" (according to my daughter). So we went purse shopping. Now if there is anything my daughter knows - it is how and where to get bargains.

So here's my new updated purse and while it took some getting used to the color, I love it. So much storage room so it's perfect for my new Sony Ereader and my IPod and my camera, my wallet, my cell phone and a whole lot more! Guess I am not an old person anymore. Anyone have a remedy for the wrinkles or double chin?

Toilet Paper

I don't know what happens in your house but in the 72 hours since this week began, I have walked into a bathroom and found the above. No toilet paper. None even close to a wee dab to use. 8 of the 9 times I noticed before sitting. Of course the other time, I had to sit and wait for someone to hear my screams.

I mean, how long does it take to remove the empty toilet roll off the holder? Not too difficult of a task. Might even say it's a no-brainer. Takes maybe one second.

Know how many times it either isn't replaced or a new one is left ON TOP of the old one or on the floor next to the toilet? Yeah.....that many times.

Then it is placing a new roll on the empty holder. OK again, a no-brainer. Another second down if done right. That is unless you put the new roll back where you found it, leaving the empty one still hanging on the holder.

Now this is assuming you have extra rolls close by. At the offices, I leave a new roll on the back of the toilet if I see the old one almost empty. Again, a no-brainer. Takes a few seconds to do.

No-brainer if you have a brain. Hard if you don't.

My solution at home: I walk in the bathroom and if I don't see a roll on the holder, I get a new roll. I use it and then take it back out of the bathroom and count the number of days until someone changes it. I got to 45 before I gave up and just did it myself.

What's even funnier is that I know who leaves them like that. Son has his own bathroom. Hubs and I have our own. So if I didn't put their paper on their holder, it would never get done.

I still can't understand why it happens all at the same time. I can go weeks on end without changing one roll of paper except at home and that is just deemed my job because no one else does it. Then a week will come and it is every single day and every time I go to the bathroom.

I think the rolls are trying to keep me on my toes. They are possessed. They know when I am coming......................

Inlaws - surrounded by inlaws

Ever felt like this? I am. Right now I been dealing with a lot of medical issues with my inlaws. Finally have them under control. **knock on wood**

Then.my.daughter.marries.and.I.have.a.whole.new.crop.of.inlaws.to.deal. with.

Especially one who has to have parties on every flippen holiday at the time SHE wants. Well, for over 4 years now, I have let her have her way.

NO MORE.

I am going to be a mean mom. I have already planned Easter. It's at the same time as hers. Tough. Mine was planned first. The kids will just have to decide which one they will attend. I am tired of re-arranging my schedule around her. I have enough to deal with. And while I am at it, I plan on planning all the rest of the holidays for the rest of the next 20+ years.

My foot (the good one) just went down.

Open Mouth Insert Foot

Who of you will willingly admit you have done did this? Now who will apologize for what you did?

Why do I bring this up? There are a lot of people making a huge hissy fit about President Obama's gaffe on Leno.

Appearing on "The Tonight Show" Thursday, the president told host Jay Leno he'd been practicing at the White House's bowling alley but wasn't happy with his score of 129. Then he remarked: "It was like the Special Olympics or something."

Today's headlines:
President Barack Obama has apologized to the chairman of the Special Olympics for his late-night talk show quip equating his bowling skills to those of athletes with disabilities.

On his way back to Washington on Air Force One, Obama called the chairman of the Special Olympics, Tim Shriver, to say he was sorry — even before the taped program aired late Thursday night.

"He expressed his disappointment and he apologized in a way that was very moving. He expressed that he did not intend to humiliate this population," Shriver said Friday on ABC's "Good Morning America." Obama, Shriver said, wants to have some Special Olympic athletes visit the White House to bowl or play basketball.

Still, Shriver said, "I think it's important to see that words hurt and words do matter. And these words that in some respect can be seem as humiliating or a put down to people with special needs do cause pain and they do result in stereotypes."

So that brings me back to our own "open mouth, insert foot" disease. I do it a lot. Of course, the best way to avoid this disease is to prepare before you make your comments. Doesn't always happen, especially in my case. Everyone makes mistakes and we all realize that. There are many times I don't even realize the implication of what I said because like many others, I say things without thinking. I never mean harm. IMHO, it's just human nature.

If you recognize your OMIF (acronym for Open Mouth Insert Foot for you texters), don't ignore what you said which makes it worse. Don't try to cover it up by blaming someone or something else and don't make excuses. Apologize and make it sincere or don't bother.

Thanks President Obama for making your apology sincere and for recognizing the gaffe. I actually watched the show and never even noticed the OMIF until this morning when every media source was going bonkers. Since I rarely recognize my own OMIF times, I wish I was more like you and I mean that sincerely.

So have you ever OMIF?

55th Birthday

I have been alive for 20089 days, 14 hours, 1 minute and 30 seconds.

My date of conception was on or about 21 June 1953 which was a Sunday. It happens to coincide with the date my father was done with basic training. Guess I know what my parents did that day.

I was born on a Sunday under the astrological sign Pisces. My Life path number is 9. The Life Path 9 suggests that you entered this plane with an abundance of dramatic feelings coupled with a strong sense of compassion and generosity. The key to the nature of a Life Path number 9 person is found in their humanitarian attitude. Even the very average of those with life path 9 possess extremely compassionate tendencies.

Usually this number produces an individual that is very trustworthy and honorable, and one unlikely to harbor any sort of prejudice. Obviously, this is a rather tall order, but you are, in fact, a person that feels very deeply for individuals less fortunate than yourself, and if you are in a position to help, you certainly will. The 9, being the highest of the single digit numbers, holds an elevated position in terms of responsibilities to mankind.

Material gains are not overly important, although the quality of some life path 9 people is such that they are materially rewarded in very significant ways. In this, however, the 9 Life Path is not apt to get rich since they are very generous, sometimes to a fault, and usually have an easy come, easy go attitude about money. The rare 9 life path has a totally selfless attitude, giving up of material possessions for the common good.

The 9 Life Path indicates you have a commanding presence. You have the ability to make friends very easily, as people are attracted to your magnetic, open personality. The term "hail-fellow" may have been coined to describe a 9 Life Path, as you may indeed be one of those who is generally upbeat and heartily friendly and congenial. You meet people easily and are quickly befriended because of your openness and amiable demeanor. Your genial ways often put you in the lead in whatever field of endeavor you pursue.

Relationships can be difficult for you because it is hard to strike a balance that will work effectively. If your partner is one sharing your giving attitudes, the relationship will be happy and lasting. On the other hand, if you choose a partner whose focus is on material issues, problems will arise quickly.

You tend to be quite sensitive, as you see the world with much feeling. The number 9's very deep understanding of life is sometimes manifested in the artistic and literary fields. If drama and acting is not your forte, it will surely be an area of great interest and potential. Likewise, you may be able to express your deep emotional feelings through painting, writing, music, or other art forms.

The purpose of life for those with a 9 life path is often of a philosophical nature. Judges, spiritual leaders, healers and educators frequently have much 9 energy. The number is less inclined to the competitive business environment and may find this a struggle.

My fortune cookie reads: Grand adventures await those who are willing to turn the corner.

My Life Path Compatibility:
I am most compatible with those with the Life Path numbers 3, 6 & 9. (Hubs is a 6).
I should get along well with those with the Life Path numbers 1 & 5.
I may or may not get along well with those with the Life Path numbers 2, 7 & 11.
I are least compatible with those with the Life Path numbers 4, 8 & 22.
(The website to find out your life path number is: http://***www.astrology-numerology.***com/num-lifepath.***html*** as always remove the *'s)

The Julian calendar date of my birth is 2434815.5. The golden number for 1954 is 17. The epact number for 1954 is 25. The year 1954 was not a leap year.

My birthday falls into the Chinese year beginning 2/3/1954 and ending 1/23/1955. I was born in the Chinese year of the Horse. My Native American Zodiac sign is Wolf; my plant is Plantain. My date of birth on the Hebrew calendar is 9 AdarII 5714. The Mayan Calendar long count date of my birthday is 12.17.0.6.11 which is 12 baktun 17 katun 0 tun 6 uinal 11 kin

As of 3/14/2009 4:04:28 PM EST
I am 55 years old.
I am 660 months old.
I am 2,869 weeks old.
I am 20,089 days old.
I am 482,152 hours old.
I am 28,929,124 minutes old.
I am 1,735,747,468 seconds old.

Celebrities who share my birthday:
Taylor Hanson (1983) Kirby Puckett (1961) Billy Crystal (1947)
Michael Caine (1933) Quincy Jones (1933) Frank Borman (1928)
Hank Ketcham (1920) Les Brown (1912) Albert Einstein (1879)

Top songs of 1954
Sh-Boom by Crew-Cuts; Little Things Mean a Lot by Kitty Kallen; Oh! My Papa by Eddie Fisher; Wanted by Perry Como; Mr. Sandman by Chordettes; Make Love to Me by Jo Stafford; Hey There by Rosemary Clooney; Secret Love by Doris Day; This Ole House by Rosemary Clooney; I Need You Now by Eddie Fisher

My age is the equivalent of a dog that is 7.86262230919765 years old. (Yeah I am an old hound dog!)

My lucky day is Thursday. My lucky number is 3 & 7. My ruling planet(s) is Jupiter & Neptune. My lucky dates are 1st, 10th, 19th, 28th. My opposition sign is Virgo. My opposition number(s) is 5.

Today is not one of my lucky days so guess I won't get lucky today.

In 1954 there were approximately 3.6 million births in the US.
In 1954 the US population was approximately 150,697,361 people, 50.7 persons per square mile.
In 1954 in the US there were approximately 1,667,231 marriages (11.1%) and 385,144 divorces (2.6%)
In 1954 in the US there were approximately 1,452,000 deaths (9.6 per 1000)

My birth flower is DAFFODIL

My birthstone is Aquamarine. Aquamarine is often used to experience love and mercy. It is said to help ease depression and grief.

Just what I needed - more trivia to fill my head!

Book Review - Redeeming Love

Yet another one of those have to read in one sitting books. I tried but at 4am I fell asleep - not because the book was boring but because I had only slept 3 hours the night before staying up to read then worked for 12 hours, made dinner, then started this book. This old body just can't get by on 3 hours of sleep 2 nights in a row. Redeeming Love is by Francine Rivers. This book I can't rave enough about.......I give it a 5+ of 5. It had all the elements of love, Christianity, sex, frustration, humility, and expectation all wrapped up in a powerful work of art.

Here is an synopsis from the author's website:

Can God’s Love Save Anyone?
Best-selling author Francine Rivers skillfully retells the biblical love story of Gomer and Hosea in a tale set against the exciting backdrop of the California Gold Rush. The heroine, Angel, is a young woman who was sold into prostitution as a child. Michael Hosea is a godly man sent into Angel’s life to draw her into the Savior’s redeeming love. This remarkable novel has sold over a million copies globally and has been a fixture on the CBA bestsellers list for nearly a decade. A six-part reading guide, suitable for individual use or group discussion, is included in this best-selling novel.

Story Behind the Book
“Writing Redeeming Love was a form of worship for me. Through it, I was able to thank God for loving me even when I was defiant, rebellious, contemptuous of what I thought being a Christian meant, and afraid to give my heart away. I had wanted to be my own god and have control of my life the way Eve did in the Garden of Eden. Now I know to be loved by Christ is the ultimate joy and fulfillment. Everything in Redeeming Love was a gift from the Lord: plot, characters, theme. None of it is mine to claim.”

I read a wide variety of books but this one went straight to my heart. It is the first Christian book that told the story as it happens in real life and rather than in who or what we are supposed to be as Christians. The Christian theme is not overwhelming but is a continuous thread throughout the book. Once read, you feel redeemed and celebrate Sarah and Michael's ultimate joy and fulfillment they find when they finally understand God's unconditional, redemptive, and all consuming love.

Book Review - Love and Other Impossible Pursuits

I rate this book a 5 of 5. I started it the other evening, fully expecting to read a few chapters each evening until done. This is not that type of book. To me, it is a read at one sitting book. I could not put it down. I drew me in at the first chapter. The author is also known for her bestselling book Daughter's Keeper. This book is currently in movie production starring Natalie Portman.

Here is the synopses from the back cover:

In this moving, wry, and candid novel, widely acclaimed novelist Ayelet Waldman takes us along one woman's journey through love, loss, and the painful absurdities of modern life.

When Emilia loses her newborn daughter, the sight of any child brings her to tears. Wednesday afternoons with her stepson, William - an obsessive, know-it-all preschooler and his mother's mouthpiece - are pushing her over the edge. When his unceasing questions turn to the baby's death, Emilia is at a total loss. Doesn't anyone understand that self-pity is a full-time job? Ironically, it is only through her blundering attempts to bond with William that she finally learns what family really means.

Memory Lane - the 50's, 60's and 70's

The picture above is of me at my 8th grade graduation. A board I frequent (Romance Divas) recently had a topic about taking a trip down memory lane and see how many things we remembered from the 70's to 80's. Well, my memories of the 70's were of graduating high school and college, going to grad school, meeting my husband and marrying him, getting pregnant, and through it all working full time (yes even in high school). I don't remember what was on TV because I seldom had time to watch it. I vaguely remember the songs but not always the lyrics. I remember being dumped 3 different times by 3 different guys and I remember talking to God under a tree on campus after a night of drowning my sorrow in a bottle of Chianti (wasn't really God but I thought it was and confessed all my sins to my fellow frat brothers). I also remember streaking in college which was a big thing. I have few memories then of the 70's except those except for some funny hospital stories and emergency room stories, and of course meeting and falling heads over heels in love with my husband.

So here are things I do remember (mostly from the 50's and 60's):

TV shows: We didn't get a TV until we moved to IL in the 60's so these are what I remember: The Andy Griffith Show, Candid Camera, The Price is Right, Dennis the Menace, The Danny Thomas Show, My Three Sons, The Ed Sullivan Show, The Flintstones, Romper Room, Hazel, Lassie, The Beverly Hillbillies, The Patty Duke Show, Bewitched, Gilligan's Island, Get Smart, Green Acres, The Lucy Show, and Captain Kangaroo.

Toys: Betsy Wetsy (I still have her), Barbie, the Lie Detector Game, paddle balls (those paddles with a ball attached by an elastic string which usually ended up broken and used on us kids - well usually me), Pick Up Sticks, Duncan Yo-Yo, Easy Bake Oven, Clue, Twister, Etch a Sketch, Slinky, Magic Eight Ball, and the Ouija Board. I also remember the day I got my first bicycle - 1962. It was actually the first thing I got that I didn't have to share with my younger brothers and sisters (there were 9 of us by then). I also remember escaping into books all the time (Nancy Drew series, etc).

Bands/singers: Bob Dylan; Beach Boys; Blood,Sweat,and Tears; Crosby, Stills, and Nash; Three Dog Night, The Moody Blues, The Doors, The Turtles, The Who, Roy Orbison, Creedence Clearwater Revival, Drifters, Jefferson Airplane, Janis Joplin, The Mama's and the Papa's, Three Dog Night, Chuck Berry, The Big Bopper, Chubby Checker, Bobby Darin, Neil Diamond, Chicago, The Rolling Stones, Chuck Berry, Ricky Nelson, Tony Bennett, Dean Martin, Frank Sinatra, Connie Francis, Cream, Led Zeppelin, Pink Floyd, anything but the Beatles (I think I was the only one who didn't like their music). But as you can see - I liked a wide range of music.

Other than that, I remember going from school uniforms with bobby socks and saddle shoes to **gasp** being able to wear slacks or pedal pushers in high school. It wasn't until college that I owned my first pair of jeans and I learned guys liked women in dresses, especially short ones (the style was hippie beatnik with long angel dresses or long skirts). I remember living in OK with no running water, no electricity, and no toilets in the house (we had a pump and carted water to the house in pails, used candles, and had an outhouse). I remember getting to have chickens on Sunday after we chopped off the head of one then dunking it in a pot of boiling waters and plucked the feathers off. I remember party phone lines. I remember only knowing how to ride a horse without a saddle. I remember being responsible for feeding the chickens and learning how not to be pecked when gathering eggs. I remember knowing how to drive a stick shift by the time I was 8. I remember cooking for over 20 while watching my younger brothers and sisters by the time I was 8 so mom and dad could do the harvest. I also remember moving every 6 months while my father was in the Air Force. So bittersweet memories for the most part mixed with some bad, especially losing quite a few friends from the Vietnam War.

Ahhh....the memories.......

Elder Law

This afternoon my husband and I, along with my MIL and her other son went for a free consultation with an elder care lawyer. All of us (except for MIL of course) researched the types of help we would need from them and what they can do for us. We had thought we had everything taken care of. In a mere 2 hours we learned how wrong we were.

From Wikipedia: "Elder law is a legal term coined to cover an area of legal practice that places an emphasis on those issues that affect the growing aging population."

Ok so what does that mean? Elder law refers to several areas of law and estate planning legal practices as they relate to the elderly. Because older people are faced with difficult, end-of-life decisions involving retirement, estate planning, and long-term care, elder law focuses on wills, trusts, tax issues, Social Security benefits, Medicare and Medicaid coverage, nursing-home care, in-home care, powers of attorney, medical directives, and other legal matters of particular concern to them such as elder abuse law, plus in our case, VA benefits for a WWII veteran.

Going about this by yourself is frustrating, time consuming, and unless you know and keep up with the changing tax laws, etc, you will find yourself in a government loophole. That is actually what had been happening to us with dealing with the VA and getting benefits for a Purple Heart WWII survivor. We basically have gotten the royal runaround. In the meantime, he isn't being helped as he should and he isn't getting the benefits he should have been getting for years now. There was an added problem with WWII veterans with the loss of a lot of their records in some fire at a facility. One has to bend over backwards and go throw mazes to only find you are back at the starting point. Thankfully when he was in the severe sundown syndrome this past 2 weeks he cited his dog tag numbers which was one thing we needed for the VA. The elder care lawyer will now handle the VA and their confusing paperwork which to me, seemed to be against veterans instead of helping them. I have to say that the VA system left me with a very nasty taste in my mouth working with them. Maybe that is what they want - to make it so very hard to disentangle the roadmap to benefits that most just give up. I don't know. I just know our experiences and no one there at the VA was helpful in any way shape or form.

When should one consult with one? The planning should begin a minimum of 10+ years before one plans on retiring. The elder care lawyer we spoke to today stated that one should actually begin planning as soon as they marry, or even if they never plan on marrying. Wills are not enough. Full financial planning with a trust set up is the only thing that protects your assets. My husband and I will be setting an appointment up with them within the next 3 months.

What does one find such a lawyer? Well, I found this lawyer by cross checking www*.*martingdale*.*com for competency of the lawyer, the area I wished to stay within, and then I made sure the elder care lawyer was certified in Elder Care Law (www*.*nelf*.*org/). As always, remove the *'s.

Sundown Syndrome

My inlaws are becoming an almost daily part of my life now. Not a day goes by now that either I am making a call to MIL, to the group home, or taking one from the caretakers of FIL, or MIL is calling me. There are 2 sons. Does anyone call them? Nope - they call me. Why? I would like to think it because I understand as a nurse what the inlaws are going through and know what is going on. The boys don't. Reality is probably that the sons (like most men) hand over things like this to females. They just don't want to be bothered.

Yesterday I got a phone call from the caretakers for FIL. He was going back into sundown syndrome really bad - just as he did the end of December when we had to commit him. Since we brought him home from his latest hospital visit, every day between 3 and 4pm, FIL's dementia kicks into overdrive and he turns into this angry defensive male. He thinks all food that is being cooked for him is poisoned by the Germans (his caretakers are Polish), so he won't eat. He also believes he is being held as a prisoner of war by the Germans and his German wife turned him in and did this to him. He can't be talked out of it, just recites that he is a citizen of the US and his dog tag numbers (funny the things they remember after 60 years yet can't remember our names). He gets angry the more you try to reason with him. When he gets like this, we just tell the caretakers to keep him separated from the others in the group home and stay away from him but keep him where they can see him. He actually eventually goes to his room and sleeps fully clothed. This again starts about 3-4pm and he usually ends up going to bed around 9-10pm. I have the caretakers try calming music, calming tv shows, and now we are on just plain quiet. What is even more strange is when he wakes up around 6-7am, he is a pleasant, cheerful, and very cooperative, sweet and appreciative man who eats every bit of food put in front of him and has no memory of what transpired the night before or why he slept in his clothes and not his pajamas. But his memory is about 2-3 minutes anyway. He had been on a high dose of an anti-psychotic medication called Seroquel. It has a lot of side effects especially for the elderly with dementia. He was put on it to control the anger issues with the post traumatic stress syndrome he had started going through with the progression of the dementia. He suppressed his WWII memories for so long that they have popped up now for us to deal with. We have actually learned a lot about what he went through. We have been slowly decreasing the dosage to see the lowest possible dose we can stabilize him on. Obviously this last decrease didn't work.

I posted the image above to show you that to you and me, the picture gives us a sense of beauty with the ending of the day. For those with sundown syndrome, the sun going down causes anxiety, behavior problems, moderate to severe agitation, and aggressiveness when confronted. It is a strange syndrome. For a patient with sundown syndrome, that picture depicts their need to 'go home'. They can't wrap their minds around the fact that they are already home.

As I said earlier, sundown syndrome begins in the early to mid afternoon and actually worsens over the span of the evening, resulting in increasing of symptoms of agitation and hyperactivity. It is treated with behavior management (calming environment, no aggressiveness shown to them, and appropriate medical intervention as needed. Common symptoms are: rapid mood changes, anger, crying, agitation, pacing, fear, hallucinations, hiding things, paranoia, violence, and wandering. At my FIL's group home, all 5 patients have dementia. There are motion detectors everywhere. There are 2 caretakers and one is always awake and up with the patients. They also have bed alarms on their bed.

No one is exactly sure what causes this. Some say that it is a result from brain disease, others say it is caused by a severe clinical depression, and still others say that is is just over stimulation as people with dementia or Alzheimers tire more easily and get over stimulated with the demands on their thinking ability.

In severe cases as my FIL, their behavior will progress to violence. Others will pack up all their clothes and wait to be picked up, or just pace with no apparent place to go but they can't stop as they feel the need to go, or actually wander off. Just in the Chicago area, there have been 14 cases this winter of dementia or Alzheimer patients wandering off and freezing to death. One was in a dementia home and the door alarm went off but no nurse went to check on the alarm. That lady died too.

Since every person is different, one should be careful putting their loved ones, especially dementia or Alzheimer patients, into nursing homes where there is 1 nurse per 20+ patients. This is why I looked for a small group home. There is also less stimulation in the smaller group home. Music, concerts, Animal Planet, game shows - calming activities are done throughout the day. Their largest meal is served at noon so if they don't eat at supper, they got a big breakfast and big lunch. Fluids are offered often and in small doses.

In my FIL's case, I made a cork board of all of us with our names under each picture. On the other side of the cork board is a melamine board his name, today's date, and a note to look in his pocket. I laminated a piece of paper to state that we all know he is there and he has to stay there until he gets better and we will visit him often. The caretakers put it in his pocket daily. It does help the repeating questions but it does not help the sundown syndrome.

For this latest episode, we had to up his medications. So in the meantime, someone sits with him while he is going through this. There is nothing we can do but wait for the medication to kick in. Hopefully in a few days, he will be back to what he was before this last hospital visit and we can take him out to lunch for his wife's birthday this weekend.

But it is a constant struggle. Getting old sucks.

One Day in My Life

Ever get woken up and you just know the day is going to go downhill from there? Yep today was that day for me.

A full hour before I had to be up, I got woken up by a friend of my husband's. Now said friend has always been a real PITA. We didn't hear from said friend for over 27 years. Then out of the blue the guy has been calling at least 3-5 times a week. I am beginning to get a real clear picture of why his wife divorced him. Usually we just let him go to voice mail and this morning was no different. The difference was that he called in the wee hours of the am. Of course, thinking something was wrong with the inlaws or my parents, I get up to look at caller ID - best invention someone ever came up with! I saw who it was and just went back to bed.

Then I hear the ding - a message has been left. By this time I was awake so I went ahead and got up and listened to the message. Okay, would you call someone that is a full hour behind you in the wee hours of the morning to atone for your sins and for all the wrongs he has thought or done to us? If you are, then you can join the nutcase! He couldn't pick a later time to call - like never?

Next phone call was from FIL's nurse who said that she was cutting down her services this week (I used to work home care so I knew this was coming). No biggie - that is until MIL heard that. She went berserk which resulted in 10 more phone calls - all before I even had a cup of coffee. In her eyes, if he is better, he should be allowed to come home with her which is so far from reality it isn't even in the picture. We are contemplating a full mental capacity examination for her because her thinking has been seriously messed up since her 2 strokes. We have been helping her clean her house. Who saves bank statements? I understand one should save them for the 7-10 or so years but people, we are finding bank statements from 1948. Maybe I should save them for the Smithsonian. Already mentally adding to the Friday list of things to do while at inlaws: find MIL an assisted living place to go to NOW.

Then I go to the office. Gotta love those first phone calls of the day, especially if said first call was from....shall we say, a slightly hard of hearing patient? This was our conversation:

Hi ***, this is *** from Dr *** office returning your phone call. I understand you want an appointment.

Hello, hello hello hello - who is this?

This is *** from Dr *** office. You called to make an appointment. You have one already scheduled for next Monday.

Friday?

No, Monday.

Friday?

No, Monday. M O N D A Y

Speak slower dear I am hard of hearing.

Ok now I am thinking no **** but being the good person I am that has sworn off swearing, I just think it and don't say it.

I said you have an appointment already scheduled for next Monday at 2:30PM.

Ok Friday at 11:30am. That's good.

No - I said Monday at 2:30PM.

I heard you - you don't have to shout. Friday at 11:30am.

No......

Then she hung up on me.

Thankfully I had her son's phone number. I called him and relayed the message that his mother has been calling us for an appointment and she has one already scheduled for next Monday at 2:30pm.

Hopefully he gets it.

I won't even go into the rest of the day.

Lent - 1st week

In my last post we learned all about Fat Tuesday. I haven't had a chance to come back and post the followups because the universe went bonkers, which has been my life recently so I should be getting used to it.

Well, Wednesday (the day after Fat Tuesday) was Ash Wednesday or the first day of Lent. Lent is observed by most Christian churches. In Ash Wednesday, one fasts until after 3pm, then attends services which place the sign of the cross in ashes on your forehead. The ashes are from the leftover palms from the prior year. Wednesday along with every Friday we are to fast from meat products which is fine with me. I happen to love fish.

So the purpose of Lent is to prepare us for the death and then resurrection of Jesus, recalling the events linked to the Passion of Christ and ends in the resurrection of Jesus from the dead. Christians do this preparation through prayer (justice towards God), fasting (justice towards self), and almsgiving (justice towards neighbour).

There is a special significance in those 40 days from Ash Wednesday to Holy Saturday (the 6 Sundays are not counted). Some say the 40 days represent the 40 days Moses spent on Mount Sinai (Exodus 24:18), the 40 days and nights Elijah spent walking to Mount Horeb (1 Kings 19:8), the 40 days God made it rain in the days of Noah (Genesis 7:4), the 40 years the Hebrew people spend wandering to the Promised Land (Numbers 14:33), the 40 days Jonah gave the city of Nineveh in which to repent (Jonah 3:4), the 40 days Jesus went into the desert and fasted (Matthew 4:1-2, Mark 1:12-13, Luke 4:1-2), and the 40 hours Jesus lay in the tomb.

I am usually a lot better with the preparations for Lent than I am with doing New Year's resolutions. Usually. Not this year. While pondering what I was going to do for fasting, I realized I can't give up drinking alcohol (I don't drink) or smoking (quit 11 years ago). I wanted and needed something with meaning. So I decided to give up swearing. Yeah, to me, swearing is 2nd nature. I thought piece of cake - when my kids were small I used to invent funny words instead of the swear words so while it was a big deal to remember, I thought it would be good preparation for grandchildren that are not dogs or sugar gliders if and when my kids ever decide to give me actual kids.

What I didn't remember when making this resolution was my inlaws. I lasted 8 hours (6 were spent sleeping) before I had my first lapse. This has become the hardest thing I have done. Each minute is a torture. Thank goodness, God is forgiving. I think he knows I mean well. I mean....look at the almsgiving - the doing onto others - that has to count, right? I take 10-30 phone calls from inlaws per day. So a few swear words shouldn't count. Maybe I should take up drinking although today was a free day and I only swore 3 times! It might take me the entire 40 days to be able to get through an entire day without swearing.