Happy Halloween!

Another of those nifty websites that calendar provided is this one: http://www.tulane.edu/~wc/months/

Today is not just any old day - it is also considered the "Festival of Sleep Day" (where here in the US we move our clocks back an hour and get an extra hour of sleep tonight - unless you live in Hawaii or most parts of Arizona). It is also considered
Halloween, Samhain, National Magic Day, Increase Your Psychic Powers Day, UNICEF Day, and St. Quentin's Day.

I knew of all but Samhain so I looked it up. It is one of the 8 annual festivals on the Wiccan calendar and is considered to be the most important of the 4 'greater Sabbats'. It is a time to celebrate the lives of those who have passed on and it often involves paying respect to ancestors, family members, elders of the faith, friends, pets, and other loved ones who have died.

See? You learn something new every day here!

But it wouldn't just be me without posting this year's costumes for my precious granddoggies and daughter did a good job picking them out as they are sooooo appropriate!

Here is Bella the Bee (ironic since Bella hates bees after she got bitten on her hiney over 20 times after trying to play with a beehive and all one has to do is say the word buzz buzz and she runs and hides):

This is Brittany the Chicken (ironic since although Brittany is the larger of the 2 dogs, she is scared of anything - boxes - grocery bags - loud music or TV shows). Brit has a tendency to be OCD and even take the same path to go potty or poop or walk in a room.

TGIF - Wacky Weird Websites

Did a whole bunch of office work most of the day and a whole bunch of yelling at Trouble for getting into things. He has a new fascination with our HD flat screen TV's and wants to put his wee front claws on them to chase the pictures. Can't use squirt bottle on him so am trying time outs right now (he goes into his cat carrier for 10 minutes). Made for a long morning. I was back to the doctor this afternoon and along with the remnants of the swine flu, I now have a sinus infection, pneumonia, and an ear infection. Back on Levaquin. Doctor had escribed my medicine (sent it electronically to the pharmacy) so hubs took me home and Trouble and I napped for 3 hours. Hubs ran the end of the month errands, picked up my new medicine, and then made dinner.

A few days ago, I ran across some 2009 calendars that were just going to be thrown out. One was all about shoes and one of the office girls took it and is going to make pictures for us for the walls of the 3 offices. Another calendar was "How to Bring Out the Inner Bitch in You" which is a hoot. But another one was on Wacky Web Sites, so on Friday's I will give you a few interesting ones.

The first today is http://www.fourmilab.ch/documents/calendar/ This is a neat website in that you can put any date into it and see how it translates in other systems (Julian, Hebrew, Muslim, Mayan, and Unix Universal Time). It also gives you detailed explanations of how each calendar evolved and operates.

The next is an addicting time waster game. http://www.ninjakiwi.com/Games/Bloons-Games/Bloons.html It took me a bit to catch the hang of it but I now have it bookmarked in my mindless game area. Hint: You need to hold down the mouse button to gain arrow-strength and aim high to burst enough balloons to get to the next level. I refuse to answer how much time passed before I figured that one out.

So have fun!

The Latest Hippest Word - Mantrum

When this popped up as I went to sign into Yahoo, I went "HUH? Mantrum? What the h is that?"

I guess it is the latest hippest word (yes I dated myself using those terms). Mantrum is when a grown man throws a tantrum when he can't have his way or being irrational and angry for no reason, and throwing a male tantrum...as only a man can. And here I thought it meant he's in the doghouse or not getting any or as the sign above says - it's male pms aka piss and moan syndrome. Males actually go through as many if not more PMS days than a woman does - it's a statistic!

Here is an interesting website: http://www.urbandictionary.com/

You can educate yourself so you don't talk like you are an old person. Looking through the words of the day I came across this one: bullshine which means it is a work-safe and broadcast-safe synonym of bullshit. Oh yeah - can use that one.

Very educational site! **eyeroll**

Who works at work?

Obviously not these people.

I have been averaging 50 hits per day at my website. I look at how people found me and have blogged on some of the interesting ones. But I found a new button today - the IP places where they came from. Interestingly enough I took a look at where said IP addresses were registered to for just the past 2 days - 103 hits. At least 40 of you came to my website from your workplace - there are probably more but I can't really tell if the IP address is registered to say SBCglobal or Ameritech or Optonline or Comcast - it doesn't give me the names of those parties. It could though and I just don't know how to access that information or I haven't found the right button yet.

Heads up to the employers of the 40 who decided to access my website and for the following pages: book reviews, quotes, images, dirtiest places, pranks, and doodling. Interesting jobs they have at
Associated Newspapers, Ltd
Uslec Corp
Embarq Corporation
Ideal Technology Solutions US Inc
The Pennsylvania State University
Msc Industrial Supply
Rhode Island College
Blue Shield of California
University of Rochester
Temple University
University of Wisconsin - Stout
Iona College
Hanaro Corporation
Insurance Services Office
American Express
Department of Fisheries and Oceans
Northwestern University
University of Kansas
The Noor Group
University of Windsor
United Airlines
Rochester Institute of Technology
University of Ioannina
Midamerican Energy Holdings Company
The George Washington University
Midland-news-association
I-deal Merrill Lynch
Indiana Higher Education Telecommunication System
General Atomic Fusion User Service Center
Southern Counties Oil
IBM Canada Ltd
Francis Marion University
U of Ks Center for Research
Smithsonian Institution
Massachusetts Higher Education Computer Network
Consumers Energy
Tyco Healthcare
Southern Methodist University
Austin Independent School District
Lexology Ltd

Maybe I should get a boss like they have!

Recipe Tuesday - Cornbread

Today's recipe is by request from another of my bestest girls since I talked about it in last week's recipe.

My recipe has been handed down generations. In my opinion, there is only 1 way to make true Southern Cornbread and that is in a cast iron skillet. Mine was given to me when my grandmother passed away but I had already found my own at an antique store. Buying a new one just takes way too long to season but it can be done. First check out antique places or farm estate sales.

For those of you who want to just bake it in a pyrex square pan you can but you just don't know what you are missing by not using a well seasoned cast iron skillet - the bestest part which is the really crispy crust.

There is also a difference in cornbread recipes - Northern recipes and Southern recipes. How one tells the difference is the ingredients. A Southern Cornbread is not sweet and does not ever use sugar in it. You are allowed to drizzle honey on the finished product but never evah put sugar in your cornbread if you are serving it to a Southerner! Cornbread is for dinner, not dessert.

So here's my family cornbread handed down lots of generations:

Ingredients:
2 cups of cornmeal (yellow or white)
½ cup sifted flour
1 teaspoon baking powder
1 teaspoon salt
1 egg lightly beaten
2 cups buttermilk
2 tablespoons bacon drippings or vegetable oil

Preheat oven to 450 degrees.
Put the drippings or oil in a cast iron skillet and place it in the oven for a few minutes until it’s sizzling. Mix together dry ingredients. Set aside. Whisk egg and buttermilk. Mix with dry ingredients. (Note here: make sure your cast iron skillet is good and hot because that is what sears the batter and makes for a crispy, crunchy crust which is what makes it a true cornbread). Take cast iron skillet out of oven, and pour hot oil into batter, and mix. Pour batter immediately into cast iron skillet (you don't want the skillet to cool that much). Bake in oven for 20 minutes. Cornbread should be brown on top and pulling away from the sides of the skillet when done. Take out of the oven and cut in pie-like pieces. Serve!

This recipe makes 8 pie slices. I usually double the recipe since I love leftovers. I will zap it in the microwave for 5 seconds in a brown paper bag and voila - my cornbread is warm again. Drizzle with honey and it is a perfect breakfast food!

As a side addition, you can also use this recipe to make hush puppies! I usually add chop a quarter of an onion and mix in the batter and sometimes add fresh corn kernels I have canned to it too. Take the batter then and form it into balls and fry them in the cast iron skillet with oil, turning them frequently. I will also deep fry them in my Fry Baby.

Surviving Facebook

When I first joined Facebook, I had a steadfast rule of close friends only and definitely no relatives. In fact, I repeatedly turned down 'friend requests' from my relatives. I gave them no reason - just flat out denied them and when I would get request after request week after week, they were then blocked from even seeing me.

As I learned more on Facebook and its privacy settings, I allowed more on my Facebook as friends - co-workers who I viewed as friends, and even 2 of my nieces. I found a few people I went to college with and even grade school with and friended them. I had no problems.

That is until my father went to the OK family reunion and mentioned I was on Facebook (how he knew I have no clue unless it was a family discussion on how I won't allow anyone to be my friend on there - believe me - they definitely had this conversation without me around or there would have been a major earthquake in Chicago as I would have erupted).

I reluctantly added a few cousins I got along with or cared what their opinion was.

Then I learned how to set even more privacy so I didn't have to even see them and they couldn't read anymore than what I wanted thanks to my wonderful techie girl who even teaches me how to work my cell phone (okay okay - I admit I am technicallogically challenged).

How did I do it? I organized my friends into lists like relatives, peeps, yuckies, etc. I think it's nifty neato that they can't see my lists so I can name them anything I want to. I have a couple more lists I am going to start - the yakkers (you know them - they have to tell you when they pluck a hair), the gamers who are the ones who play games -like Farmville or Mafia Wars).

Then you just go into your privacy tab and check off who can see what. If you choose that customize button, you can be more a whole lot more specific.

This website is where I learned a whole lot: http://www.makeuseof.com/tag/the-complete-guide-to-facebook-privacy/

So if you are my friend on Facebook, are you a wee bit curious what category you fall in?

Spiritual Sunday - Using New Eyes

The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes, but in having new eyes.
~Marcel Proust

I ran across this quote some time ago, loved it, and saved it in my favorites file (which happens to be pretty huge now). I was scanning that file yesterday for something spiritual to say today and for some reason I kept coming back to this quote.

Does that ever happen to you? It does to me all the time. If I am aware enough, I stop and find out why my brain keeps going back and why it means something to me. I find things like this 'speak' to me when I need them the most.

After re-reading the quote a few times, I couldn't figure out why it meant so much. Then I went to bed. We have had the granddoggies this weekend. Since Trouble (our new male kitten) is still considered snack food to the granddoggies, we have kept them separate. However, yesterday I allowed Trouble full access to our bedroom.

Seeing the bedroom through my eyes is one thing. Seeing the bedroom via Trouble's eyes is another. I had to search for my rosary. Every Kleenex (not used) was out of its box and shredded. The garbage was knocked over. Trouble obviously also learned how to jump high enough to reach the bathroom counters and everything was on the floor. My nice clean bedroom went from clean to chaos in a mere 2 hours.

So to my eyes, there was no hesitation in allowing Trouble access. To Trouble's eyes, it was a whole new playground. As I was cleaning up the mess last night, I looked around at my bedroom with different eyes - eyes from a mischievous kitten but more important, eyes from possible grandchildren. It has been a long long time since I have needed to child proof or kitten proof my house. I have at least a year or two to child proof my house for any grandchildren to come (no - no news yet).

But Trouble - he gets locked up now - in his cage because even the bathroom isn't kitten proofed.

Optical illusions allow us to see things we might not see right away. What do you see in the picture above? A sax player or a young woman?

Swine Flu

Well, I don't know if I have it or not. Here in the burbs of Chicagoland, it is rampant - of course before the first doses of vaccine are available. I wouldn't have gotten the vaccine anyway but it is always ironic how medicine is 2 steps behind.

I have been working all week short-handed and then one of my bestest girls got sick. I sent her home Thursday (part of the reason why I haven't been around). I have been pretty pooped by the time I get home that I was heading to bed and sleeping 12 hours at a time. I knew that was a sign I was getting sick so I upped my vitamins.

I woke up Thursday morning with a slight sore throat - figured it was just from running the fans and is pretty typical for me. But by Thursday night I was totally exhausted. Friday morning I woke up with a slight cold and by yesterday afternoon I was in a full blown head cold. Since everyone and their neighbor around me has been sick with the swine flu, I am not surprised - just that I held out this long from getting it. So far hubs is fighting it.

I called the doctor who does not want to see anyone unless you are on your deathbed and can't breathe or can't keep fluids down. We are to assume we have the swine flu and treat accordingly - Tamiflu if you can find it, plenty of fluids, plenty of rest. So although I have done the fluids and rest, I haven't taken any Tamiflu - there is none in this area to be found. My aunt in Oklahoma said she would send me some but I told her to keep it as the CDC map shows it is coming her way.

So oink oink with me. I will post when I am feel like being up.

Husband in the Doghouse

It’s easy to fire your employer if you aren't married to him. Did you know that more employees fire their employer than employers fire employees? Yep it is a statistic. The reasons why vary from quitting for better pay, better working conditions, to better opportunities. There is also a statistic that an employee will fire 7 or more employers in their working life.

But what can one do if they want to fire your boss that happens to be your husband? I hate Wednesdays during golf season. He gets up at the ass crack of dawn (making sure all are awake if he has to be up) and then goes and walks the 18 hole golf course chasing a stupid white ball around. He then comes home pissed about something he was doing wrong and thus sets the mood for the rest of the day.

When he is tired, he is the crabbiest man alive. Top that with crappy weather or a crappy golf score and the day just goes downhill. Then try to go to work with him.

Is he nasty to the patients? Nope - he's as sweet as syrup. To me? I have learned to just not talk to him at all on Wednesdays because there is nothing that will come out of his mouth that is usually worth my getting upset over. I chalk it up to no sleep. Today he was PMS'ing along with no sleep along with playing golf in a light rain along with getting a crappy score. Yep - he had oodles of nasty permeating his pores just looking around to piss me off.

Today he pushed the right buttons and accomplished his mission to exude the nastiness onto me. I quit and told him to stuff the job you know where. The other girls told him that if I go they go.

He knows he has to apologize. He knows he was in the wrong. He knows he was crabby. And he knows that the crabbiness and nastiness on me was undeserved. We shall see how long he remains in the doghouse. He reminds me of 'The Fonz' - the words "I am sorry...." never erupt from his mouth. Instead, he will go out of his way to do things for me. Tonight I got taken out to eat. Wonder what tomorrow will bring?

Recipe Tuesday - Super Easy Corn Chowder

Easy Corn Chowder

8-10 medium sized red potatoes, peeled and diced
2 cans evaporated milk
2 cans sweet corn with juice
1 can cream style corn
Salt and pepper

Boil the diced potato for 20 minutes. Rinse them and put them back into a large soup pot. Add the cans of milk, corn with juice, and creamed corn. Salt and pepper to taste.

Set to simmer for a couple of hours. Now you need to make sure you stir this every 10-15 minutes as it is very easy to burn the bottom.

For a change of pace, I have added left over crab or lobster pieces and have also added 1/4 cup chopped green onions, and cooked pieces of bacon, 1/2 cup of chopped celery, and 1/8 teaspoon ground cayenne pepper (for a kick).

I usually serve this with cornbread cooked in a cast iron pan although I have been known to just bake it too.

Now to me this is a full dinner (the chowder and cornbread). To my husband, this is the appetizer and he wants a full meal after.

RANT - Nasty Rude People

......can go take a flying leap off the nearest cliff!!!!!!!!!!!!

We are missing an employee due to the death of her father (see Sunday's tribute to Charlie). I changed the answering machine message to state that if you get this machine, to call one office between 9a to 2p and another office from 2p to 7p. Hey - I figured at least I informed them where to reach us.

Want to know how many hangups I got? 15
Want to know how many left obnoxious rude messages? 5

One of the 5 wanted me to pay for her to call the other number. I reminded her she had the option to leave a message and that we would call her back. She didn't appreciate that. Said she was going to report me to the doctor and get me fired. I smiled.......and gave her an appointment.

Another one stated that we should be open. I think her words were: "Awww...come on" (Mind you this same patient missed her last appointment). Thank goodness another girl got her phone call to the other office. This is the same lady who bugged me every hour for 7 hours on the emergency line no less, to remind the doctor to call her. When he did get home that day and called her - it was about an appointment to which he told her to call the office on Monday - that he doesn't make appointments. I think at one point she also was going to report me because I wouldn't let her talk to the doctor.

Then on top of that - I finally friended my relatives to my facebook account. Maybe I should be committed.

Is it a full moon?

/end rant

Goodby Charlie Until We Meet Again

Goodby our dear friend! You have always been in our thoughts and prayers. You were brave in the Vietnam War and have been for the past 5 years since you have been battling the effects of being exposed to Agent Orange. We am glad you are now at peace.

"Those we love never go away,
They're within our hearts everyday,
Always loved and always dear,
Walking with Angels,
always near."
~Author Unknown

No Brain

Usually I have no problems doing things on the spur of the moment. My brain functions that way. I think some of it is the way I was trained as a nurse. We react without thinking. Maybe it's also the mother in me. Dunno why - just do it although it has gotten me into trouble some times when I open mouth insert foot.

It's those times I have to think about what I need to do that I have a huge brain fart. Take for instance tonight. I needed to change the message on our office's answering machine. My son and husband love whenever I do it. They somehow always seem to know when I do it too and come from opposite ends of the house or another room just to watch me do it. It's like they have radar. Husband and son will then take bets on how many times I will re-record the message because I will always flub it up. My usual is 5-10 times according to them. Tonight neither husband or son won. It took me 22 times. I finally had to write it down in order to just read it.

Why can my brain just react without thinking yet I can't compose a simple 1 minute message without flucking it up??????

I Love Fall

I love the colors, the crispness to the air, the scent of wood burning in a fireplace, and I especially love the colder temperatures.

The picture above is a tree outside an office near me. I am fascinated by its leaves and how it changes colors. Does anyone know what tree it is?

**sigh** I can't wait for the snow!

Recipe Tuesday - Apple Crisp

I have over 6 bushels of apples waiting for me to can this weekend. They can wait until I have time Friday, Saturday, and Sunday since the temps are down to the 20's at night and highs of upper 40's so they will keep without rotting. When my daughter heard I picked up the apples, she asked me when I was going to make this recipe. It is one of her favorites.

Ingredients:

6 Apples thinly sliced and cut into bite size pieces
2 Cups Flour
2 Teaspoons Baking Powder
1 ½ Teaspoons Salt
2 Cups Sugar
2 Beaten Eggs
2/3 Cup Melted Butter
1 ½ Teaspoon Cinnamon

Preheat Oven to 375 degrees
Grease 9 x 13 Inch Baking Dish. Place sliced apples in bottom of dish. In separate bowl, mix together Flour, Baking Powder, Salt, Sugar and Egg (Mixture will be crumbly). Sprinkle mixture evenly over apples. Pour melted butter on top of everything. Sprinkle with Cinnamon.
Bake for 30-40 Minutes until the crumbly coating is lightly browned and the apples are bubbling.

Cool slightly. We use plain yogurt in place of ice cream over the top.

Teaching an Old Dog New Words

I have a master's degree. I am a MENSA member; therefore I consider myself pretty smart. I kickass at playing Scrabble. That is until the past few days when I have been learning new words like crazy.

1. Spork, Foon, Sporkula, Foodle - Never heard of these until an article appeared in the NY Times concerning a Cub Scout who brought his brand new Boy Scout Eating Utensil to school and was promptly expelled. At first it was mislabeled as a spork. Seems sporks first made an appearance at Taco Bell and KFC where I don't happen to ever eat at, hence why I had no clue what a spork was. In case you didn't - it is a combination of a fork and spoon. Here's a picture from savagechickens.com which explains the family tree of the spork, foon, sporkula, and foodle.


2. ugsome noob - Now this one I had to separate to find a meaning even in the Urban Dictionary. noob or n00b: Contrary to the belief of many, a noob/n00b and a newbie/newb are not the same thing. Newbs are those who are new to some task* and are very beginner at it, possibly a little overconfident about it, but they are willing to learn and fix their errors to move out of that stage. n00bs, on the other hand, know little and have no will to learn any more. They expect people to do the work for them and then expect to get praised about it, and make up a unique species of their own. ugsome: In the Renaissance, a neat pair of neologisms made their way into English modeled on Latin - “handsome” is now a part of our language but the opposite “ugsome” eventually bit the dust a hundred year’s before Shakespeare. So I conclude that an ugsome noob is an ugly know nothing person who doesn't want to learn or work. Wonder if I call my son that he would 'get it'?

New words are like the stars in the sky. They appear in uncountable numbers, last for just a brief time and soon go away. But some come and stay in our language. But if you think it is easy for a new word to catch on, think again. Most deliberate attempts to make a word popular are bound to fail.

Recent additions to the Concise Oxford English Dictionary, for instance, include biosignature, botnet, locavore, mocktail, plus-one and vanity sizing. I, for one, didn't have a clue to any of them. FYI: locavore which means “a person whose diet consists only or principally of locally grown or produced food,” was first heard of in 2005 by a group of four San Francisco women who challenged local residents to eat only food grown within a 100-mile radius. It was then picked up by like-minded activists around the country. I will hopefully remember this word next time I challenge hubs to play Scrabble.

People who study words (etymologists) usually don't have the foggiest idea of who first thought of a new word and more often than not, it has many inventors. Take the word that has popped up recently: staycation which means stay-at-home vacation. Ever since prehistoric man ran out of things he could draw on a wall, we’ve been inventing new words and shifting meanings of established words, like the making of "issue" a synonym for the word "problem". Just imagine if Apollo 13 said, "Houston we have an issue" instead of "Houston we have a problem". But issue has become a synonym for the word problem. Even I use it.

My last example is the word "green". It used to be just a color and now it is also a way of life.

I find hope for my thingies, whatchacallits, and doohickeys. I invent new words all the time. What is funny is all my employees understand me perfectly! Now to find a dictionary where all my words are and I will challenge my husband to a nightly Scrabble game - the winner to cook, do the dishes, and give moi (the winner of course) a backrub!

Spiritual Sunday - Rules

In today's Gospel Lesson at church, we learned that:

We have no clue to what real life in Christ Jesus means. We usually live in the gray space of grace or in the black and white of rules, the monochrome world of the Law. Why? Because that tends to be where we are most comfortable in life. We want to see and achieve the standards of life. We are ready to defend ourselves quickly by saying things like: "Since when is that in my job description?" or "That's not my responsibility!". We get it into our heads that if we follow all of the rules, we'll be rewarded in the end, that if we cover all the bases, no one will be able to criticize us. Rules - even the rules of God - will never really bring life, peace, joy, strength, or courage.

At first, I sat in disbelief looking at the pastor. Then I realized that Jesus looked beyond the rules, beyond the mistaken understanding that we need rules to find his love. We don't. Jesus loves us as we are. He looks beyond our imperfections, beyond our sin, beyond our vanity. Instead of following rules, He wants us to live abundantly in the wonder of His love.

Last night I finally decided I was ready to watch the movie "Marley and Me". I could never do it before. We had a Marley - he was named Snowball. The memories of Snowball's last day when he allowed us to put him down were still too fresh after 11 years. Watching the movie, I was reminded of all the memories of Snowball over the years. He was Marley to the tee, only smaller and he never ate our furniture. The beagle in him had him howling whenever we played the piano or flute or trumpet or saxophone. Instead of seeing the 13 wonderful years Snowball gave us, I focused on that last day when we lost him. With the movie, I was able to open up to fully encompass Snowball's gift to us and through that, how we lived in God's love. It's the small things in life that show us how God loves us. How lucky we are!

The above picture is of Snowball playing in the snow which he absolutely adored!

Celebration!

Between the economy, swine flu pandemic, political free-for-all because Obama won a Nobel Peace Prize, I thought that today I would look past these things and instead...........CELEBRATE.

Ever feel like breaking out singing? I hate the song "Celebrate" but today I lurve lurve lurve it!

WHY you ask? Well, because FINALLY the weather is going down where I like it.....nice and nipply. No you perverts - I do not notice or want to notice other people's nipples. Nipply to me means the weather is getting nice for a hot flashing momma.

Here in Chicago that means temps in the 20's to 30's - beach weather for me. So a note to all of you who live in either the Keys or Southern States or California when it hits 70 and you begin wearing your furs and Uggs, now is the time to stay where you are so us Northerners can CELEBRATE! We even have a .....loud drum roll.......freeze warning for tonight!

I am all excited. And if I had known it would be in the 20's for the Chicago Marathon, I might have even run in it. I mean that's the only reason I don't run in it - one can't predict the weather in Chicago in October (or any other month).

We had snow flurries this morning......today Des Moines had 1.1 inches of snow! I can't wait.....it feels like it has been summer for soooooooo long.

CELEBRATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dogs Scooting Across Carpet or Doing the Brown Round Eye

Does your dog scoot across the carpet? I nicknamed it "doing the brown round eye" aka scooting around in a circle on the brown eye aka rearhole.

If they do, do you know what they are really doing?

They are trying to open their anal glands which lubricates and stimulates a tootsie roll poop bowel movement. DO NOT LET THEM DO THIS ON YOUR CARPET. Why you ask? Read on..........

Dog anal glands are two small glands located on either side of your dog's rectal opening. Each gland holds a small amount of a noxious smelling liquid brown substance that your pet uses as something of a doggie calling card. (Noxious is not the word - this is the grossest vile gosh-awful smell in the world).

Whenever your dog urinates or defecates, the anal glands receive a small amount of pressure, and a tiny bit of the fluid is released, along with your dog's custom blended scent. Your dog can also express a little of his personal essence when he meets a fellow canine. Have you ever noticed that when two dogs meet, they often raise their tails on high alert? This action applies the pressure to the dog anal glands, and this leads to the traditional butt sniffing we humans cannot seem to fathom. However, to our dogs this behavior is as normal as shaking hands when you meet someone new. By sniffing, the dogs learn to identify each other by their scents. Equate it with exchanging business cards, and you have the idea.

Many dogs never seem to have a problem with their anal glands, but the opportunity for infection to take hold is always there. When the anal glands are not sufficiently expressed, bacteria is given the chance to build up, and this can lead to numerous problems. Your dog can develop an infection, which if left untreated can progress into an abscess. The abscess can then rupture through the skin, leading to further complications.

It's believed that dog anal gland problems can be linked to the quality of pet food a dog receives. Inexpensive brands of dog food use a lot of cereal fillers, which tend to make soft stools. The soft stool isn't able to press firmly enough against the dog's anal glands to provide the necessary pressure to express them, and there the trouble begins. Higher quality dog foods that produce a firmer, more compact stool actually aid the expressing of dog anal glands and, therefore, may be a better food choice for your pet. And there are some dogs who just plain have the problem and no type of food will help. This is the case of one of my granddogs. We have to take her in to express her glands every few months.

So how do you know when there is a problem? If your dog's anal glands fail to properly express, they may actually become impacted, making your dog very uncomfortable. Watch for these signs:
•Your dog begins scooting or dragging his rear across the floor.
•Your dog keeps licking or chewing near his rectum.
•Your dog's stools have become soft and mushy.
•You'll likely notice a foul or "fishy" odor coming from your dog's rear.
If you are noticing one or more of these signs, it may be a good idea to take your dog in for a check up with his vet. The dog anal glands may actually need to be manually expressed, a job best left to the professionals.

But if you are anything like me, I figured I could handle it all on my own. I am forewarning you now - if you think their 'scent' is gross, then expressing the anal glands will not be in your list of things to do. The smell is beyond disgusting. Be prepared to puke. Be prepared to hold that smell days and days and days after. There is nothing that will get rid of it either. Believe, skunk smell doesn't even last as long. Leave it to the experts. Trust me.

Funny Websites

These websites are an absolute riot. I have them bookmarked and follow them at least once a week.

1. http://cakewrecks.blogspot.com/ This is the bestest one - maybe because I also decorated cakes at one time, yes even wedding cakes. I got started after I went to pick up my daughter's 1st birthday cake with the theme Sesame Street and got a sheet cake with plastic figurines of the Sesame Street characters and got pissed when said cake to feed 30 cost me over $50.00. I picked up the Wilton books and training guidelines and tubes and color paste and went to town. Had quite a few flops at first but soon got the hang of it and was soon making cakes for others. That's why I love this website.

2. http://yousayweird.blogspot.com/ This one is guaranteed to crack me up every single time.

3. http://youareatuna.blogspot.com/ Another one guaranteed to tickle your funny bone.

4. http://thebloggess.com/ Another depends alert site!

5. http://www.mommywantsvodka.com/ Yet another good one!

6. http://judgeabook.blogspot.com/ I especially like Phallic Friday!

and 7. http://webupon.com/web-talk/nine-weird-disturbing-but-funny-things-found-on-the-web/ Great site for wacky sites!

Have fun and pass along your funny ones for me! (And did anyone notice I learned how to get a link to link in a post? I am so proud of myself - just have to figure out what I did to do it!)

Training Your Children/Animals

So somehow I managed to raise 2 kids halfway decently. We both survived through all the phases of childhood - the terrible 2's and the tantrums, the grade school need to be like each other, the tween years of bad hair days, the teenage years of PMS days and parties and according to them being grounded most of the life, and into the adult years when I have managed to get one out of the house but trying to make life miserable so the other one will leave too. Yeah, don't think I did so bad.

Then why do I suck at training animals? Demon kitten lives up to his name of Trouble. Blowing in his face when he uses his claws on me as a scratching post or spraying water in his face when he bites my toes or making a loud noise or rattling rocks in a can does not phase him in the least. I know we are to get cats used to water when they are young but Trouble has absolutely no problem with water. In fact, he has learned how to slide open the shower door and get in the shower with you.

That was his newest trick and my surprise of the day. Me stark naked sans glasses so I can't see, encountering fur in the shower (don't go there). Twasn't pleasant.

This cat loves water. This cat loves to do anything possible to annoy me. This cat thinks that anything I bring into the room to drink is a communal cup. This cat thinks that when he can't jump up enough to get onto my vanity stool to get into my makeup, that it is perfectly okay to dig its claws into my legs and climb up.

I realize Trouble was born on 8-1-09 and thus still an infant but can't he be a bit quieter? I know this total frustration I feel with him is just my age and thus why people my age don't have kids.

But then he turns me into a big pile of doo when he lays in my arms purring and snuggling as close as he can get to me.

Sigh........maybe he's just training me.

Recipe Tuesday - Chicken Marsala

Ingredients:

1 Package (1 ½ lbs) Thin Sliced Boneless Skinless Chicken Breast
½ Teaspoon Ground Thyme
3 Tablespoons Olive Oil
1 Package of Sliced Mushrooms
¼ Cup Beef Broth
3 Tablespoons Marsala Wine
½ Cup Grated Parmesan Cheese
Italian Bread Crumbs
Cooked and Drained Spaghetti

1) Coat chicken breasts with bread crumbs
2) In large skillet, over medium heat, add oil and mushrooms – cook and stir 2-3 minutes
3) With slotted spoon, remove mushrooms and set aside
4) Add chicken to skillet and spring with Thyme, salt and pepper
5) Cook chicken about 5 minutes on both sides until lightly browned
6) Remove chicken and keep warm
7) With wooden spoon or spatula, stir beef broth and wine into skillet,
scraping bottom to incorporate browned bits
8) Return chicken to skillet, top with mushrooms and spoon pan juices over all
9) Reduce heat to low and simmer 5-10 minutes until chicken is cooked through
10) Serve over top of spaghetti noodles and sprinkle with parmesan cheese

Double Entendre aka Double Meanings

The above was seen on a church sign and a perfect example of a Double Entendre!

A Double Entendre is a word or phrase which can be taken at least two different ways. Typically one meaning is obvious even to me and the other is actually usually sexual in nature. Even jokes go ****WHOOSH***** right over the top of my head. Their popularity comes from the fact that if you don't get it, you won't realize something dirty just happened. (I will admit the sign had me going the sexual way and not the innocent way).

Disney is famous for double entendres - they keep their movies or shows 'family friendly' by allowing children to appreciate the joke on one level but most adults enjoy it an another level all together (note I said most adults). I am one of those who doesn't get it until I have it pointed out to me. Maybe because I am so innocent and think such pure thoughts all the time. If you believe that I have some swampland to sell you . But really, I actually never knew until researching this topic that Disney is one of the most famous for the double entendres which is why their movies appeal to both young and old.

I remember the first time I watched Shrek - I got that one right away. I couldn't believe my nieces and nephews raving about it. I looked at them like they sprouted horns and had grown up or knew a whole lot more than I did at their age. Then they talked about the jokes as they understood them and I realized we weren't even on the same page let alone saw the same things.

FYI - a trivia fact: If someone makes a Double Entendre, but the recipient fails to see it as anything other than a literal statement, it becomes Entendre Failure. If someone makes a perfectly innocent statement that others interpret as a Double Entendre anyway, it becomes an Un Entendre. Ummm....I am usually in the failure category!

Here are some examples:

1. Groucho Marx: Animal Crackers gives him the line "We took some pictures of the native girls, but they weren't developed." and has him present Margaret Dumont with a large wooden box. While describing it as "a magnificent chest", he accidentally points at her torso.

2. Shrek's line "Do you think maybe he's compensating for something?", upon seeing Lord Faarquad's towering castle, could both be interpreted as Faarquad compensating for his height or... something else. Of course, "Lord Faarquad" itself sounds like something else entirely... Well, Faarquad's face was modeled after then-CEO Michael Eisner, and his name sounds a lot like a popular nickname that Disney employees had for Eisner at the time... So Yeah.

3. Three words: Bond. James Bond. (this is one I had to have explained to me)

4. "Kate and Leopold": the man announcing the Brooklyn bridge; "And in the future I believe men will be judged by the size of their erections!"

5. "Mr and Mrs Smith" are a little ambiguous about just how many:
Mr. Smith: I don't exactly keep count, but I would say... high fifties, low sixties. I've been around the block, but you know the important thing is—
Mrs. Smith: Three hundred and twelve.
Mr. Smith: Three hundred and twelve? How?
Mrs. Smith: Some were two at a time.
(For those not in the know: they were discussing how many people they'd killed, not slept with. Yeah I was one not in the know - hubs explained it to me.)

6. "Who's the black private dick that's a sex machine to all the chicks? Shaft!"

7. "Rules of Engagement" features more than a few, usually delivered by Russell. However, one of the funniest episodes features a woman who speaks in nothing but double entendres, seemingly without realising what she is doing, and this drives Russell nuts. Her best effort occurs when she is talking about the new nightclub she is starting:
"You guys should totally check out my opening. It takes a while for things to warm up down there, so try not to come too early."

8. "Two And A Half Men" is also fond of using double entendres, sometimes excessively, which shows in this example of Charlie talking to Herb in the garden.
Charlie: You know, Herb, that is a fine, fine hat.
Herb: Gotta wear it. Otherwise I freckle like a banana.
Charlie: Well... I wouldn't want your banana to get freckled.
Alan: Let's go, Charlie.
Charlie: Hang on! Hang on. We're having a real interesting conversation here. Hey Herb, tell Alan what you told me about how you plant seeds.
Herb: Well, first I make sure the soil is moist.
Charlie: Uh-huh. And tell him how you do that.
Herb: Well, I just stick my finger in the old Mother Earth. If it comes up dry, I just whip out my hose and give it a good spritz.
Charlie: And then?
Herb: And then I carefully plant the seed in the soil.
Charlie: Carefully? Why carefully?
Herb: Because if you just fling that stuff around, half of it's wasted!
Charlie: You hear that, Alan? If you fling your seed around it gets wasted.
Alan: Fascinating. Let's just go.
Charlie: Now hold on, hold on... How do you feel about bushes, Herb?
Herb: Well, I like a full bush. The way God intended.
Charlie: I like 'em trimmed. What about you, Alan?
Alan: We're going! Bye Herb.

9. Jimmy Buffett has admitted that he specifically wrote his song "Why Don't We Get Drunk And Screw", which is about, well, getting drunk and screwing, because he was sick and tired of hearing double entendres in other people's songs.

10. The Queen song "Don't Stop Me Now" is just one big Double Entendre from start to finish.
"I'm a shooting star leaping through the sky
Like a tiger, defying the laws of gravity
I'm a racing car passing by like Lady Godiva
I'm gonna go, go, go, there's no stopping me!"

11. Harry Potter fans have found dozens of unintentional (and some intentional) innuendos:
"What d'you mean, I'm not brave in bed?" said Harry, completely nonplussed.
There was a groan of bedsprings, and Harry's mattress descended a few inches as George sat down near his feet. "So, got there yet?" said George eagerly.
"He's having a go at my mother!" Seamus yelled.
"I thought not," said Snape, watching him closely. "You let me get in too far. You lost control."
"Manners, Potter," said Snape dangerously. "Now, I want you to close your eyes." Harry threw him a filthy look before doing as he was told. He did not like the idea of standing there with his eyes shut while Snape faced him, carrying a wand.
He was on all fours again on Snape's office floor.
"Well, we'll soon find out, won't we?" said Snape smoothly. "Wand out, Potter."
Harry moved into his usual position...
He came quickly, as if a white flag had come out of his wand.
Harry enters the Chamber of Secrets to find Ginny, his future wife. And has to fight a giant snake with a legendary sword. He ends the episode by flying out of a deep shaft, with Ginny hanging on to his leg.
"She tasted disgusting, worse than Gurdyroots! Okay, Ron, come here so I can do you."

12. In "Get Smart", The Chief mentions that they need to employ a new agent, unknown of KAOS who's acquired a list of all CONTROL agents and is eliminating them.
Larabee: Let me out there, sir, I have no problem exposing myself.
Agent 99: Do you ever think before you speak?
Larabee: No, I just whip it out there. Seems to work best.

There are so so many more. Do you have any good ones?

Spiritual Sunday - The Simple Things

From Ralph Marston and one of my favorite links: **http://**greatday.**com/motivate/

When you place too many conditions on your enjoyment of life, there is no enjoyment. You can end up working so much to get the conditions just right, that there's no time left to really enjoy yourself.

Let go of the need to have everything just so. Simply and fully enjoy being where you are.

In every moment there is beauty. Rather than striving to make that beauty into what you think it should be, just enjoy it as it is.

Happiness is not something you must prove. Find enjoyment in simply letting it flow.

Instead of working to do happy, be happy. See that the possibilities for joy are far greater than anything you could ever contrive.

There is plenty of joy to be lived in this moment. Let the uniqueness of the moment help you discover new ways of tasting life's real pleasures.

This is a hard concept to actually do - take joy in the simple pleasures. I try to remember to remind myself to look around and see things that I normally wouldn't see. We all get busy in life and forget to stop, look, and listen.

I was having a hard time getting up the enthusiasm and energy to attend my husband's 40th high school reunion last night. I don't really believe in reunions and have only attended mine once and left within 30 minutes - I plain didn't know anyone but 3 people there. The 3 of us with our spouses left and went out ourselves and totally enjoyed the evening. High school was a difficult time for me and I worked a lot, was in band, and didn't associate with a lot of my own classmates. So to me reunions were pointless. I even did a post about them with statistics to prove my point.

The last reunion I attended with my husband was horrific and only confirmed my opinion. Most of the people knew each other - they married within their own community and most still saw each other - so I was the odd person out. Everyone was so busy reminiscing that there wasn't room to get to know anyone else there.

Reluctantly I went last night. This year I found people who introduced themselves to me and wanted to talk to me, and these were even classmates. I learned to stop, look, and listen. I found real caring and real people who cared for each other.

So last night on our way home, I was left thinking about the differences in the last reunion with these same people I had termed snobs and this reunion. I wondered at first if the reason was that when people aged, were they more open to talk to someone else? I realized that no, it was because I took the time to stop, look, and listen to them. The more I did, the more they opened up to me. The more they opened up to me, the more I enjoyed myself. I ended up with many phone numbers and email addresses and promising people that I would contact them the next time I was going to be out helping my inlaws - that we would get together with our parents and inlaws and have lunch together. When I told my MIL today, she was ecstatic because she knows many of these people when the kids were growing up.

The simple things somehow exploded into many things that will find pleasure in not only my life, my husband's life, but other's lives as well. All because I took the time to stop, look, and listen.

Banned Books

Here is the American Library Association's list of top 10 most frequently challenged books of 2008, their author and the cited reasons:

_"And Tango Makes Three," by Justin Richardson and Peter Parnell. Reasons: anti-ethnic, anti-family, homosexuality, religious viewpoint, and unsuited to age group.

_"His Dark Materials trilogy," by Philip Pullman. Reasons: political viewpoint, religious viewpoint, and violence.

_"TTYL" (series), by Lauren Myracle. Reasons: offensive language, sexually explicit, and unsuited to age group.

_"Scary Stories" (series), by Alvin Schwartz. Reasons: occult/Satanism, religious viewpoint, and violence.

_"Bless Me, Ultima," by Rudolfo Anaya. Reasons: occult/Satanism, offensive language, religious viewpoint, sexually explicit, and violence.

_"The Perks of Being a Wallflower," by Stephen Chbosky. Reasons: drugs, homosexuality, nudity, offensive language, sexually explicit, suicide, and unsuited to age group.

_"Gossip Girl (series), by Cecily von Ziegesar. Reasons: offensive language, sexually explicit, and unsuited to age group.

_"Uncle Bobby's Wedding," by Sarah S. Brannen. Reasons: homosexuality and unsuited to age group.

_"The Kite Runner," by Khaled Hosseini. Reasons: offensive language, sexually explicit, and unsuited to age group.

_"Flashcards of My Life," by Charise Mericle Harper. Reasons: sexually explicit and unsuited to age group.

I have read "The Kite Runner", "Uncle Bobby's Wedding", "Flashcards of My Life", "The Perks of being a Wallflower", and "And Tango Makes Three" so half of them. Don't quite know what that says about me - I loved "The Kite Runner" and the others were good. Wonder if that makes me a liker of those things banned or a liker of sexually explicit books or dunno.......maybe just have eclectic tastes.

TGIF - Update on Tampon in Ear, New Kitten, and more

I don't know about any of you but I for one am going to be glad to see this week end. I had already pretty figured out it was a full moon week without looking at my calendar that keeps track for me. Sure enough, full moon due October 4, 2009 which is just 2 days from now.

Tampon update: I went back to the ENT this morning and he pulled the rest of what was still buried in my ear out. The culture he had taken on Monday was back and said I had Pseudomonas aeruginosa which is actually a common bacteria but naturally resistant to a large range of antibiotics. From Wikipedia:

It is found in soil, water, skin flora and most man-made environments throughout the world. It thrives not only in normal atmospheres, but also with little oxygen, and has thus colonised many natural and artificial environments. The symptoms of such infections are generalised inflammation and sepsis. If such colonisations occur in critical body organs such as the lungs, the urinary tract, and kidneys, the results can be fatal. Because it thrives on moist surfaces, this bacteria is also found on and in medical equipment including catheters, causing cross infections in hospitals and clinics. It is implicated in hot-tub rash.

It is also associated with acrylic nails which is how I got it - 3 weeks ago I had 2 nails with it. Acrylic nails coming off for good in 3 weeks (have to get past the fancy smancy dance first).

So although I am glad the ENT put me on a really strong antibiotic that I take orally and antibiotic ear drops that I have to put in my ear three times a day, they are doing a number on my intestines. I have been downing Probiotics and Acidophilus almost every few hours which helps but my appetite remains crappy, and I am exhausted both from the effect of the antibiotic and the antics of the 4 crazy animals which keep me up at night. But the ear was 90% better and I don't have to go back for another 3 weeks when he does a hearing test and an Eustachian tube test to see how my Meniere's is doing and to see if I lost any more hearing in my ear.

I am sure the full moon is what is affecting the animals. Yeah, that has to be why they aren't letting me sleep and think each other are a food group.

Tomorrow is hubs 40th high school reunion. He's at the first part tonight which I refused to go (it's raining and the last thing I want to do while sick is stand in the rain with a temps in the 40's watching a football game with people I don't know nor associate with and even hubs hasn't seen in over 15 years). I plan on going to bed early and finish reading book 3 of a series from Joey Hill (will report on it when I finish all 4 books). Haven't decided to go tomorrow for the dinner dance for definite - will depend on how I feel. Definitely not going to the brunch they have planned for Sunday since this is our week to help at church which is where we will be.

TGIF!

Crazy Animal House

That is our home right now.

Because the kitten still isn't declawed (we declaw the front ones only), the kitten is banned to the master bathroom. Our 12 year old female cat is on top of the fridge. The 2 bulldogs have the rule of the house (yes, we are dog sitting while their parents are on vacation, hopefully making me grandbabies).

So we play musical chairs with the animals. If we allow the kitten to come out, the dogs are locked up. The 12 year old female cat sometimes deems it okay then to come down from her perch on top of the fridge but we have "the disdain look" or the "I am chief cat look" and won't even let the kitten get close which is fine as we are trying to avoid bloodshed.

Last night, the kitten was locked in the master bathroom, the dogs were in their beds at the foot of our bed, and who decides to enter our bedroom but the cat. So the dogs go to chase the cat who manages to get the door open and escape before the dogs get there. With all the excitement which the kitten hears, he now thinks it is time to meow for us to let him out. The dogs now go to the bathroom door and head butt it, trying to open it, then start barking at the kitten who is now meowing louder. I finally get the dogs to their beds, the kitten shuts up since it doesn't hear anything, and peace reigns again for another 30 minutes when we repeat the entire scenario.

Hubs didn't hear a thing. I, however, am an exhausted new mom. I AM TOO OLD FOR THIS. I NEED MY SLEEP. I can only hope this all calms down.