My Wish List

I think I did this before but don't have time to go back and check and anyway since I am a woman. I have the right to change my mind and my wish list.

My revised wish list is based on the following:
1. My MIL won't call and cancel Christmas because she is a passive aggressive and feels the need to play martyr every few hours.

2. My inlaws are put into assisted living so I don't have to worry about them. They were both outside removing the 8 inches of snow they got yesterday and slipped and neither could get each other up so a neighbor saw them and came over. Neither were hurt. But that could change today when I see them. Did MIL have the cell phone on her? Nope. It was in the house once again. Do they have to worry about snow removal? No - I hired a service to take care of it. Why were they outside doing it? They wanted their mail. I.Have.No.Words.For.Them.Anymore.Except.Please.Feel.Free.To.Shoot.Me.If.I.Ever.Become.Like.That.

3. I want a husband who sleeps and is not an insomniac. Why you ask? Well, he got up in the middle of the night which he usually does. It stopped bothering me long ago. Only this time, the TV wouldn't work. He determined it was the satellite dish outside that had too much snow on it. Did he wait until morning? Why no - why should he do that? He instead got the extension ladder out of the garage (mind you he is still on the 10 pound max lifting restriction from his surgery). He took said ladder to the dish and then got a bucket of hot boiling water from the kitchen. Took said bucket up the steps of the ladder and threw the water on the dish. Not once but three times he went up and down that ladder. Wait - it gets better. We have 22 inches of snow on the ground. A sane person would realize that ladder in snow = slippery base of support. I am surprised he made it up and down 2 times. Third try he wasn't so lucky. The ladder slipped when he was tossing the bucket of water. He fell. Now if he had landed in the snow he should have been cushioned. But no, my husband had to fall feet first and one foot and leg landed in the window well and broke it the window well. It took him 20 minutes in 10 degree weather to get out of said well. He got inside and looked at his leg and decided it was a small gash only. Now you are thinking - where I was, right? Sleeping - where all people should be at 4am. Do you think he carried his cell phone on him - nope. Parents and son = same genes - no wonder they are like that. He.Is.Getting.A.Room.Next.To.His.Parents.

So my revised list would be at least ONE STRESS FREE DAY............
pretty please?

Christmas Spirit

I don't know about all of you but I have been working my rear off getting ready for Christmas. I took off this week to get things done.

First up this morning was to take my inlaws to their doctor appointment. The roads are icy since temps here are below zero. I confirmed yesterday with said inlaws about the time. I show up at their house to pick them up. No one is home. I happen to have a key so I let myself in. Nope - no one at home. Note here I arrived at their house a full hour before said appointment which was only 15 minutes away. I had the surgeon's phone number so I called their office and they had not arrived yet. I call hubs who says he hasn't heard from them but to call his mom's cell which I already had and heard it ringing in the house. 15 minutes later I get a call from the doctor's office - they had arrived. I talked to MIL who said she forgot I was coming to take them. She figured that if they went early they could get in early and then go to a Christmas party at the senior center. So I got up at the butt crack of dawn to drive an hour away just for nothing.

Ok, I figured I had a few more gifts to pick up and now I had time so I braved a few stores. Big mistake! I remembered why I get my shopping done early and don't shop during the day when the crazies are out. I pull into this parking space but noticed when I got into said spot, the car next to me was parked crooked and I didn't want to get hit so I backed out and pulled back into the spot, thinking nothing of doing that. Well, according to this really crabby male, I committed a moral sin of the utmost because he saw me backing out and wanted to take my spot. So he was pissed I was taking the spot back. This guy ranted for a good 5 minutes. I stood there looking at him and then said, "Sir, pardon me for my ignorance. But clearly, you need this space more than I do so I am going to get back in my car so you can have said space and I will go look for another one". He uttered a few obscenities and I replied: "Thank You and may God Bless you too and you have yourself a very Merry Christmas!" I got in my car, backed out, and parked in another spot that was actually a lot closer.

I figure I found the Christmas spirit since I didn't call him for what he was and I was rewarded with a closer space.

But inlaws? No words are available yet.

Beware the nosy neighbor!

I swore I would never ever be a really nosy neighbor but today changed all that.

I was calmly sitting at my desk in between batches of cookies, making cappelletti, and making my list of stuff to do for this week, when I looked up and the house right across the street had 3 guys walking to their front door. Ok....I am thinking....owner of home (a widow) is in the ICU on a ventilator and son is in the hospital too and those 2 trucks are not any I have seen before. So I get out my binoculars (yes I have them to.... um....for football games and ummm....birdwatching - yeah birdwatching. I get in close. 3 really young guys with hoodies over their heads. They go to the door. No one answers. 3 minutes later they get the door open.

I am starting to get a wee bit nervous since there have been 3 breakins in our area in the past week and this is an empty house. Wait....one of the guys comes back to one of the trucks and gets out a dolley and heads back to the house. I get out my phone book and call the house thinking if they are the grandchildren who are never over there but are legit, then they will answer the phone, right?

They didn't. I hung up and dialed 911. Since we live in an unincorporated area, the surrounding towns responded before the county. There were 6 cars in total responding before the county showed up 30 minutes later (he was at the scene of an accident).

So, turns out it was their grandchildren coming to snowblow the driveway and check on the house since the one son will be released from the hospital tomorrow. So my worry was all in naught.

But I was a good neighbor and made a huge pot of hot chocolate and gave the officers and grandkids some cookies that had just been made to go with the hot chocolate.

My husband and son's impression of the whole thing: Nosy crazy neighbor! Ok, can I help it if I am still in my robe, my hair spiked in every direction, flour strew on my robe and over my arms, barefoot (yes even in this cold weather), and very very beet red eyes (from wearing contacts last night)? I might look a bit crazy but....it could have been a whole different scenario.

Checking My List

Yep I am an anal list person. If not for my list, I would have no clue what is done or not although my mind is constantly running through said list and adding to it. However, the past week or so, I have almost completed all my shopping. One of my employees is picking up a gift certificate for me since I avoid malls with a passion. And I have to hunt down a Hallmark Christmas ornament and pick up my husband's present. Had planned on doing and finishing today but Mother Nature had another idea. Here's what we woke up to this morning:


I picked this one off a local newspaper showing how the snow is building up:


So instead, I am staying all snuggled inside, eating homemade turkey soup and making Christmas cookies and biscotti's. Up today are Spritz cookies, decorated sugar cookies, peanut blossoms, pizzelles (anise, lemon, and chocolate), and biscotti's (anise, chocolate, and another type I have yet to determine (depends on what I have on hand).

So are you done and what do you have left to do?

Being Evil - finding fun in ordinary things

Ok, 3/4 of the shopping done. I found a fun thing today that is a flippen riot. I had to stop at Hallmark to get our yearly collectible ornaments - daughter gets the house collection, son gets the old car collection, son-in-law gets the motorcycle collection, and hubs and I pick up one that is dated.

Anyway, I saw these bags called "Peek Buster" and I just could not resist.



I got the "No Peeking" bag which has a motion-activated sound that plays this annoying alarm sound. You can hear them at Hallmark's website (www.hallmark.com).

Now my initial intentions were innocent I am telling you. I was going to use it for hubs and/or son. But my evil side came over me when I brought it home.

We have a cat that loves to climb the tree and hide on the branches. She scared one of my nephews last year when he was looking at an ornament and had a paw come out and swipe him. So I was curious what the cat would do with the bag. I decided to put some catnip in there - the lure. Yep the cat (Ms Curiousity) went over to check it out and got a wee bit too close. It went off. The cat literally hit the ceiling. Haven't actually seen said cat since. I think she is in hiding.

So then I decided to see what the granddoggies would do. I put in a slice of cheese on top of a slice of roast beef (their all time favorite treat) - I did lay them carefully on saran wrap so they wouldn't mar the bag.

Then I waited. It took about 20 minutes but soon one of the dogs went up to the bag sniffing and got close. The dog jumped back and hasn't been near the tree since.

10 minutes later the pokey dog decided to sniff out the bag and got close and bumped the bag with her nose. Oh yeah that one was priceless. The dog that will not jump on anything - jumped. She won't even come in the same room as the tree now. I probably scarred her for life.

I am evil - BUT - found a new way to keep the animals away from the tree.

Bah Humbug!

I don't know about the rest of you but I just cannot get into the holiday spirit. All I see is more crap to do in an even shorter period of time on an already overloaded schedule. Husband is running a temp again. Doctor appointment Monday. FIL still recuperating from this past Wed surgery but still under the effects of anesthesia (the elderly take longer to get it out of their systems) and is feisty and combative and a real PITA - he's usually a softie and sweetheart.

Here's my list for any of you willing to help out:
1. Finish buying gifts but really thinking on giving cash this year only.
2. Plan for making 3 full Christmas dinners - one Christmas eve for 10, one Christmas Day for 5, and other the 28th for 50.
3. Work full days Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, and Saturdays until the 28th. Full days mean 12 hours then there is dinner to be made, dishes to be done, laundry which doesn't disappear just because you are busy.
4. 3 Christmas parties to attend.
5. 1000+ cappelletti to make.
6. 14 dozen + cookies plus biscotti's to make.
7. Take care of sick husband.
8. Take care of sick FIL.
9. Compose Christmas letter and maybe I will get it mailed out before Easter next year.
10. Clean the house.
11. Did I mention the pain in my ankle is so bad that I am scheduling the cat scan and am back in my walking boot?

Bah humbug!
Helpers welcome - and at this point I will pay you to be my wife.

Musings

This is kinda how I have been feeling. Life has a way of whacking you aside the head a lot of times. So until you get a handle on everything and start coping with it all, you sit there wondering what the h happened and try to process it. Once that happens, you pick up the pieces and move on.

Yesterday my father-in-law had surgery to remove a parathyroid gland. He is 90 almost 91. He's already confused after his strokes but the anesthesia is making things worse. I am heading back to help MIL out since she isn't very healthy herself.

I brought a book to help pass the time. There were a few passages that just leaped out at me and I wanted to share them with you. The book is My Sister's Keeper by Jodi Picoult and I rate it a 15 star - a must read book!

Here are a couple passages:

In any moment of time, one can be facing each other and be poles apart, yet we can flip like a magnet and instead of pushing each other away we suddenly seem to be on the same side. We are young and pulse-to-pulse for the first time; we are old and wondering how we walked this enormous distance in so short a period of time.

Life sometimes gets so bogged down in the details, you forget you are living it. There is always another appointment to be met, another bill to pay, another symptom presenting, another uneventful day to be notched onto the wooden wall. We have synchronized our watches, studied our calendars, existed in minutes, and completely forgotten to step back and see what we've accomplished.

Time Flies

This is how fast Chicago changes. One short month ago this was our view.


Currently there is 6 inches of snow on the ground. Our forecast for the next 10 days has only 1 day without snow predicted. Today, tonight, and tomorrow they are predicting another 3 inches. Tuesday into Wednesday this is their prediction: significant snow which means we can get anywhere from 6+ inches. Perfect weather for making snowmen and snow angels. Here's my niece enjoying the snow.


How time flies.

Bad Patients

Who are bad patients? Those of us in the medical field will point them out immediately. They are:

1. The know-it-alls who come in all diagnosed via the Internet or by some relative or neighbor who had close to the same thing.

2. Men - 'nuf said.

3. Any medical personnel - Because they think they would do a better job, as they know their symptoms better than the doctor that is treating them, and they become a sort of "back seat driver."

4. The demanding ones who want a specific appointment time and don't call until that day and then get angry that 'their time' isn't open.

5. The ones who hear only what they want to hear then complain we didn't tell them something.

6. The ones who think we overcharge and therefore are not entitled to their deductible or co-insurance even after their cheap insurance knocks off 3/4 of their bill and I have to accept that and have not gotten a dime yet off them.

7. I am sure I can come up with many many more but those were just today's.



Now who makes the worst patient? In my opinion, my husband who also happens to be a doctor. Why you ask?

Let me begin.

Wait - how much time do you have? I am hoping there isn't a word count on here. I will try to keep it brief.

1. Me: He's demanding and never lets me sit down. Just as soon as I have sat down is when he will deliberately ask me for something.

His reply: We're not used to being. We're used to doing. Our minds are not as organized as yours.

Me: His idea of placation. It didn't work but I did get what he wanted with the stipulation that if anything else was needed it would wait 30 minutes before being gotten.

2. Me: He won't follow the doctor's instructions.

His reply: I am usually the one telling others what to do therefore I already know what to do and nothing you say means diddly squat.

Me: I got to say I told you so when he has had to call the doctor not once but twice because he did something he shouldn't have.

3. Me: You need to move around.

His reply: My Inactivity forces me into the existential exercise of confronting who I really am. You don't want to do that when you're well. By the way, these are good drugs.

Me: Bullshit. Move.

4. Me: How many pain medications did you take vs how many were you supposed to take at a time?

His reply: I think I took 3-4. I dunno, I didn't read the instructions. But I feel good.

Me: I took the bottle away from him. He has to ask me for them now although I will admit he was a whole lot mellower doing it his way.

5. Me: What would you like to eat - jello or broth?

His reply: A thick juicy steak with a Manhattan on the side.

Me: Try again.

Him: Well, I farted so I can have food now.

Me: No you can't. You just get to elevate from clear liquids to full liquids or in other words you may now have cream soups and pudding. So what do you want?

Him: Potato soup - homemade.

Me: Made the potato soup for him. Took me an hour. Served it to him.

Him: I don't feel like this anymore. I want pudding.

Me: I made banana. I will get you some.

Him: I don't feel like banana. What other flavors did you get?

Me: He got the other pudding flavors all right. He got the boxes and I set the bowl and the mixer out for him and put the milk in the bowl. I said choose and make it yourself. You haven't moved in the past 2 hours anyway.

6. Me: Do you really have to get up again? You just got up an hour ago. You are not an infant. I am too old for this. I need sleep. This is night time. You know - the time we are to sleep.

Him: I am not comfortable and I am not sleepy.

Me: Well, I am. So lay the f down before I strap you down.

Him: You are crabby.

Me: I am tired. Now shut up and go back to sleep. The next nite: he got a crushed Ambien in his food. I got 4 hours of blissful uninterrupted sleep. It was heaven. There is a reason why women my age don't have children. We would kill them.

7. Him: I didn't get any rest times today at work.

Me: Well, I scheduled them. However, during your first hour break you decided to call your friends and chat. During your 2nd hour break you decided at that moment, all the calendars in the office had to changed that instant. During your 3rd hour break, you decided to check the supply list we were making and give your input, searching the books for the best prices. During your 4th and final break, you decided to spend the entire hour bitching you were exhausted to whoever would listen to you. Just to let you know though - you talked to yourself.


Take my word for it: A sick husband is to be avoided at all costs. His main objective is to have you holding his hand, awaiting his beck and call, ready to serve his every whim. DO NOT, under any circumstances, give him a bell or any similar instrument so he can summon you. He will take advantage of the situation, and you'll be sorry. If they keep complaining, ship them back to their mothers. They created them - they can take care of them.

Monday

Kinda how I feel today. I knew I would. Tis what being 'off' for almost 2 weeks does to one.

We woke up to 3 inches of snow although we were expecting 6 inches plus - the storm tracked more north of us. I will have pictures later since I had to do the snow blowing this morning. Took us an hour to go the normal 15 minute drive to the 1st office for today but that was only because there was a major power outage on all roads leading east and to get to the expressway to go south, we had to go east first. But even the side streets are clear although some are snow covered from the blowing snow.

The trees are gorgeous. It's the only good part of this being my 1st day back to work and it being a Monday that is fantastic.