Brain Farts

Okay, I know I am not the only one out there that has brain farts! You know those times when you are talking to someone and then your mind just goes blank and for the life of you, you can't remember what you were saying let alone what you were going to say next? Or when you go into a room to get something and forget what you were going for? Those are brain farts, people. Some think they are cute and call them 'senior moments' or 'blond moments' or anything else that sounds nice and prim and proper. You all know I tell it like it is - they are BRAIN FARTS!

Even in the urban dictionary or wikipedia they are described:

A lapse in the thought process; an inability to think or remember something clearly.

A gap, interruption, or uncontrolled shift in a chain of thought resulting in a lull, pause, and/or blank stare during oral communication and sometimes involving the loss of short term memory.

Don’t try to deny it, I know you’ve had them. Everyone does. Most won't admit they have those embarrassing instants of mind-numbing stupidity. You’re faced with a task, question or action that you’ve done a thousand times, and yet, you flub it up. Even worse, you may even recognize the problem as it happens and you may know that you’re about to screw up big time......and yet, you’re unable to stop it. Brain fart.

But rest easy. Brain farts are real. No, the brain does not emit methane gas (aka noxious fumes). They are real, measurable events in the brain AND they are predictable. Yep, I am normal. (okay stop the laughing).

Researchers were looking in the brain for cues that a mistake was being made - hoping to spot some sort of activity blip that signaled an error, perhaps an instantaneous loss of concentration. So participants in the study were given a simple, monotonous game to play, while the activity in their brain was measured via MRI.

Interestingly enough, there was no single event or burp or fart at the instant of the error. Instead, there was a complicated pattern of abnormal brain behavior BEFORE the fart happened - up to 30 seconds before! Now in real time, 30 seconds isn't a whole lotta time but in brain time - that is a really long time.

So what happened in those 30 seconds? In the study, even though the participants were alert and focused on their task, parts of the brain usually associated with relaxation began to light up. At the same time, parts of the brain associated with cognitive control and sustained attention began to turn off. So even though they intended to stay alert, their brain was shutting down, forcing them into a less focused state. So even though the person was paying attention, their brain stopped paying attention.

Tada. Brain fart. Scientific proven study!

The researchers think the brain may be shutting down to conserve energy. Since repetitive, familiar tasks don’t require much processing power, the brain tries to go into a sort of autopilot mode. Sometimes it goes too far, and the result is a mental glitch. Once the participants made and recognized their mistakes, the abnormal patterns vanished - apparently the error woke the brain back up, letting it know it had gone a step too far in its efforts at energy conservation.

With that all important 30 second factor, it might be possible to predict and prevent critical brain fart errors in high risk situations (like I have done giving lectures or seminars or when trying to impress a new client). If the brain activity involved can be detected by lightweight, portable monitors, a warning could be sounded that would “wake up” the brain, hopefully before the mistake was made (yeah like I would wear that along with my 'Forest Gump' braces - I could just hear the comments then).

Of course, it wouldn’t help much with the socially embarrassing times that usually accompany my brain farts. And no, not going to reveal those :)

Interesting thing I found during my research -

Brain Fart Drink Recipe
1 fifth Everclear® alcohol
1 fifth Smirnoff® Red Label vodka
2 liters Mountain Dew® citrus soda
2 liters Surge® citrus soda
1 bottle lemon juice
1 pint Bacardi® white rum
Pre-chill soda, and mix slowly with other ingredients and ice in a punch bowl.

Nope, I don't need to drink that but if provided to others in my presence, it might make me seem 'normal' and not in need of a cranialproctologist because I have persistent cranial gas. It is just part of my make up. Thank goodness my friends and employees always seem to know what I was going to say and will even prompt me with what I was saying prior to the fart. I am proud of them - they were listening!