Excuse me if I seem to be a bit looped but I just finished spending the day with the inlaws aka dementia day. The morning began stopping at MIL's home to pick her up but I had to use the bathroom first. I walked in the door and was greeted by the above picture only the room was dark. I thought it was real. Yes I did have a cup of coffee this morning and yes I was awake and no it wasn't butt early. I about peed my pants right then. What was even funnier was my response to the dog when it barked at me. It is a motion sensor dog and as soon as it senses motion around it, it starts barking. MIL was to see the cardiologist today and I was about to horn in on her appointment. It's not nice to scare someone in Forest Gump braces!
We then proceeded to pick up FIL at his group home and on the 15 minute drive to the hospital for them to have their bloodwork done, he asked the following question 15 times:
FIL: "Where are we going?"
Me: "To the hospital for some bloodwork then we are going out to eat for lunch."
FIL: "Good, I am hungry. They wouldn't feed me today."
Me: "I know - that is because you had to have this bloodwork done and you had to be fasting meaning nothing to drink or eat until after you get your blood drawn."
FIL: "Oh, okay."
FIL: "Where are we going?"
repeat repeat repeat
So we get the blood drawn and then I took them to lunch at their favorite restaurant. (FIL is still asking what we are doing). We get into the restaurant and when I asked him what he wanted to eat, naming some things on the menu I knew he liked, he responded with: "I just want a hamburger with cheese. That boy looks familiar that is sitting next to you. That waitress looks familiar".
Me: "Well, the boy sitting next to me is your only grandson who drove us because I can't drive."
FIL: "Why can't you drive?"
Me: "Remember - because I have a cast on my foot."
FIL: "Why do you have a cast on your foot?"
Me: "Because I fell 2 years ago and need another surgery."
FIL: "Oh sorry to hear that. Who is that boy sitting next to you? He looks familiar. And the waitress too - she looks familiar too. I want a hamburger."
Me: "Do you want cheese on your hamburger?"
FIL: "That would be nice. But I want a hamburger."
Me: "Yes, a hamburger with cheese on it. That is called a cheeseburger."
FIL: "I want a hamburger. That boy looks familiar that is sitting next to you."
repeat repeat repeat
MIL by this time had gotten back to the table and took over the answering and it turned out they did know the waitress as they bowled on the same league with her and her husband over 20 years ago.
Then son went to the bathroom. We asked FIL to see if he had to go but he said no so son went on - wiping his brow that he lucked out and didn't have to take his grandfather to the bathroom and help him.
No such luck. Not 2 minutes than son left the table, FIL said he had to go to the bathroom. So I took him there and opened the door to the men's bathroom and yelled at son to take care of him. I waited in the hallway for them to come back out and got "the stare that I will get back at you for this look" from son. Seemed grandpa forgot that he had to open the zipper so son had to assist him. Son's comment to me: "Next time you get to help him find it and hold it".
So we ate then took FIL back to his home then we left to take MIL to the cardiologist. Son wanted to see how they tested her pacemaker so he came in the room with us. The tech that came in to do the test was teasing MIL that she didn't look old enough to even have a grandchild let alone have a daughter in law. MIL preens and says well I am 82, grandson is 26 and DIL (me) is......she couldn't remember so I said I was 58, then 54 then looked to son to figure out how old I was. Yeah long dementia day that obviously is contagious.
Son hasn't stopped laughing or saying he is going to pay me back for 'having to help his grandfather go to the bathroom'.
As for the title of this post - it kinda went with the day. That was FIL's saying for the entire afternoon - every 2 minutes he would repeat this. It wasn't until we got back to the home that I learned he's been saying this when he is cold.
But you all know me and I had heard the cold hands warm heart before but never the rest. So I googled it. The saying is actually folklore-type sayings that have passed down through generations.
Here are a few more cute ones:
If you see a falling or shooting star, make a wish; It will come true. Just say, "Starlight, star bright, first star I see tonight. Wish I may, wish I might, have this wish I wish tonight." However, if you wish upon a star, don't tell anyone your wish, or it won't come true.
A favorite weather saying is, "The morning rain is like an old women's dance. It is soon over." or "Frost on a moonlit night won't kill." or "Big raindrops, little rain. Little raindrops mean big rain."
A favorite saying about couples is, "One makes the living, the other makes the living worthwhile."
Another funny one: "Eat a bite of garlic every morning before breakfast to ensure against colds, flu, grippe and real close friends." I'll bet this works every time.
Have you heard this one? "What can't be cured, must be endured."
Here's a bit of advice for next melon season. To be sure whether a watermelon is ripe or not, balance a straw or grass blade crossways across the melon. If it is ripe, the straw will slowly turn to a parallel position along the melon.
A last saying: "When a person wants to tell something but can't remember the story, it is probably not true." Now this one I know about only many times I can't remember the names of the people involved or the entire story. Same with telling jokes - I always mess up the punch line.
Dementia day = even loopier me day!
