I bring this up because I was always under the belief that true friends can discuss anything - any hot topic - without walking away from said discussion not ever wanting to talk to them again. I have always been able to in person. I am finding it difficult online.
Ever play the telephone game as a child? You know, the game in which something is whispered to the person sitting next to you and it is whispered to the next person and so on down the line until it gets back to the person who started the game. The trick was to see how much the text given to the 1st person is changed when it goes through even 5 people. Usually the whole context is different. That is because not one of us is alike. Some times that is a good thing. Other times it isn't.
So how can we have friends, be different, yet not destroy the relationship? I think it depends on the situation and the topic. Politics and religion are 2 super charged topics. There are times I just sit a discussion out and other times I get right into the middle of it. I try to remember what my grandmother taught me when I had a tendency to open mouth before thinking: You learn more when your mouth is shut and your ears are open.
Good advice. Hard to do.
So here's some other advice I have also used:
#1. You are never actually going to change anyone's mind. While you assume your logic will persuade another to see your views, the other person is just as determined that his/her logic is just as strong. Both of you have adopted logic that reinforces your own values.
#2. It is a proven medical fact that brain imaging studies prove that the emotional part of the brain takes over when you begin talking politics or religion or any other emotionally charged subject.
#3. Count to 10 before responding to any crass remark about anything you don't believe in. I can't count to 10 because it doesn't work. I find that if I remove myself from the conversation and don't return for a few days, the topic wasn't what I thought it was, nor was I really being judged. And if I still feel that way, I just walk away. They weren't friends to begin with.
#4. Never respond to another in the same nasty manner they have. If you don't have something nice to say, don't say anything.
#5. Don't pressure people to agree with you. No one likes a bully.
#6. Read out loud what others are saying. Sometimes reading something sounds different when actually spoken out loud. Listen to yourself. Reread what you write out loud. Make sure it is something you would want said to you.
#7. Never take the bait of someone who is definitely showing they are itching for a fight. Let them draw another to their level. Consider yourself above that.
#8. Stop when anger flares or everything gets tense. Agree to disagree and walk away. That means stay away.
#9. Debating means one wins and the other loses. A discussion means all the parties involved are mature and are logical. There are no winners and no losers and no hard feelings.
#10. Always discuss points and not people.
#11. Try to remember during heated discussions, there is something likable about nearly everyone.
#12. This one is my favorite: If you can't agree to disagree, rethink the relationship. Did you ever really see the other person or did you see what you wanted them to be?
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