You know when you are old when.....

....you program channel block on your own TV and can't remember the password!

Now I can't even watch my own TV.

Any bets on how long it will take me to figure it out? Those guessing less than 4 hours are already out!

Putting things into perspective

Ok ok I am into this website big time. It helps.

The life that you have
There will be times when you find yourself in extremely difficult circumstances. When those times come, it's important to put things in perspective.
Whatever else may be going on, always remember that you have been blessed with life and the ability to live it as you choose. Think of how completely awesome that is.

The idea that you are a victim of any particular circumstance is simply not accurate. For when you look at the big picture, you're not a victim at all.

You are a very fortunate beneficiary of the greatest circumstance that you could possibly imagine -- being alive and able to direct your own life. All other circumstances pale in comparison.

The transitory ups and downs are merely tiny threads in the overall fabric of your life. Each one ultimately adds to the richness of your experience.

The quality of that experience is up to you, and the fact that you're aware and able to think and act confers on you an incalculable wealth. See it, value and appreciate it, and spend each day being truly worthy of the unique, precious life that you have.

-- Ralph Marston

**http://***greatday.com/motivate/080807.html***

Changing your thoughts

I ran across this fantastic website a few years ago and visit it at least once a week. The inspirational messages given by Richard Marston are indescribable. Whenever I start feeling pretty crappy or the world seems to be completely upside down and backwards and before I blow (ok ok sometimes after I blow), I go to this website and always find peace. I will admit that I will also tune everyone and everything out and just go into my 'cave'. Yep I have a cave just like the men do. I go to it when I am really tired or upset about anything. Both seem to be my mantra lately. Like men, don't talk to me. Don't tell me things will get better. Don't do anything to make me laugh. I will be quiet or angry. I need to work things out myself and until I do, I won't emerge.

This message I have been rereading almost every day. It helps.

Thoughts lead the way
Your thoughts have great influence on your life. So get them working in your favor.
Those things you've convinced yourself you cannot do, you will not do. By the same token, whatever you're absolutely certain that you can accomplish, you will indeed accomplish.

Your thoughts directly and persistently control your actions. And through your actions, you create much of the reality of your life.

Every achievement begins with a thought. And every achievement is supported all along the way by a continuous flow of positive, empowering thoughts.

You won't make something happen just by thinking about it. Yet the things you do cause to happen are those things upon which your thoughts are steadily focused.

Fill your mind with thoughts of positive purpose, joy, and meaningful achievement. Let your thoughts lead the way to the life of your dreams.

-- Ralph Marston

http://greatday.com/motivate/080813.html

Contest with Free Books And More......

This is very good friend of mine.....fantastic author! Check out her site (link after the info)

Over the next several weeks, I’m going to be holding a number of contests — there will be a chance for several visitors to win an autographed copy of Sacred Heart Diaries (3 or 4 winners), a gift certificate to Changeling Press, a copy of the upcoming EC/Pocket print anthology “Bad Girls Have More Fun” (which includes my novella “Saturn Unbound”), and whatever else comes to my mind. However, I don’t want to run the same contest every week, so I’m looking for contest ideas!
So, to enter this week’s contest, send me (see below) a suggestion for the type of contest I can hold. I will pick one winner randomly and you do not have to be the first person to suggest the type of contest in order to be entered to win. The entry period for each of the subsequent contests will last approximately a week, so your suggestion can include more interactive types of contests.

Send your suggestion by 11:59pm EST, August 30, 2008, to annvremont [atsymbol] gmail.com - include “Contest #1 Entry” in your subject line. ONLY ONE ENTRY PER PERSON PER CONTEST. By entering, you give me permission to use your first name and last initial if you win. The winner will have until September 30, 2008, to claim their prize or forfeit it.

The prize for the contest ending 11:59pm EST, August 30, 2008, is a USD 15.00 gift certificate for amazon.com — winner will be announced Sundary, August 31, 2008, and notified by email.

Here is the link: http://www.visualsnark.com/?cat=131

Happy 29th Anniversary!

Some special anniversary thoughts for our 29th anniversary, slightly altered to be a wee bit more specific:

By all means marry; if you get a good husband, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, there are always batteries.

If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

Most modern calendars mar the sweet simplicity of our lives by reminding us that each day that passes is the anniversary of some perfectly uninteresting event.

Marriage is the perfection of what love aimed at, ignorant of what it sought.

Then there was a woman who said, 'I never knew what real happiness was until I got married; by then it was too late.'

The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.

A good husband always forgives his wife when he's wrong.

Love seems the swiftest, but it is the slowest of all growths. No man or woman really knows what perfect love is until they have been married a quarter of a century.

24/7/365 we are together and while I can't always state life is a peach, it sure has been interesting. I love you honey honey honey!

Weekend Away

We had a fantastic time. It was so good to get away and not see the same walls at either the offices or at home. We seem to always want to go away but somehow it never seems to happen. Our last trip away from the offices was a year ago when we went to Philly and took 5 days before our seminar started. Contrary to popular belief, most doctors don't take time off, well at least we don't. But every time we do, we kick ourselves for not doing it more. It just makes us so much more relaxed.

We stayed the Mill Creek Hotel in Lake Geneva, Wisconsin. It was absolutely fantastic and I highly recommend it to anyone looking for a romantic no kids place. There was not a restaurant in the place but our suite had a full kitchen. We picked up a few things for breakfast and ate out the rest of the time. It was peaceful. No one screaming down a hallway. No screaming kids. Very quiet but close to everything.

We visited with friends who have a condo up there, walked the lakefront, went shopping at Maxfield Street Days, and got some fudge for the kids from a store that is also on Mackinaw Island. We had a riot in this one store - I can't remember the name but it had the word Memories in it. Anyway, it was chock full of lunch boxes, games, candy, etc from the 50's and 60's. It was a really neat store that I bet we spent a couple hours in alone.

We slept a lot and had a very nice relaxing time - the perfect way to celebrate our 29th wedding anniversary.

Running Away for the weekend

Have fun everyone.....we plan on it.

Sitting Still

I can't sit still for the life of me. My parents always said I have 'ants in my pants' since I just can't sit. No I don't ADHD. I just plain have to be doing something in order to sit. Sitting still isn't in my vocabulary.

Today was the worst. Something last night happened to me which made it even harder, actually this:


Yep the township decided to do their mosquitoes spraying last night. The mosquitoes decided to avoid the spraying and come directly to our house, probably singing the song "This house...is a very very fine house...with two cheeks to bite...life used to be so hard....until we found this house"

Now in an attempt to organically get rid of the buggers, I planted a lot of basil and lemongrass plants in our yard. I use both in my cooking so also am eating them. I also take an extra dose of Vitamin B6. Don't tell me to use Deet because I can't and won't. I also got a bat house and yes, I have bats. They are supposed to be helping me here but I don't think they got that message yet.

Even with all the preventions I take, mosquitoes see me coming and feast on me. I have been adding at least 1-4 per night to someplace on my body. Last night I added 4 - 2 to each butt cheek. Yeah....they itch like crazy. Not easy to sit still.

So my solution for the itching is a Girl Scout remedy: clear nail polish. Only now I had to figure out how to get it to said places. I consider myself flexible but not THAT flexible. I can't do this which was the only way I could think of to put it on:


So what does any good wife do? Yep they ask their husband.

After I picked him back off the floor and gave him 'one of those looks', I handed him the bottle of clear nail polish and told him to put it on the spots.

But he must have missed a few areas. They still itched like the dickens. Do you know how hard it is to sit still and act intelligent and dignified and friendly when all you want to do is scratch your a**?????

Finding Answers

Yesterday I posted about fashion no-no's. Tate and Anon brought up a term I had never heard: camel toe.

So curious me decided to Google camel toe. Then I Googled camel toe in Google Images. OMG....I about peed my pants. I sure wish I had known last night when I spent 45 minutes looking at male fashion blunders to find a pic halfway representing someone I saw yesterday. I honestly will attest I had never looked at so many male crotches last night ever in my life just to find ONE - yes only found one where the manberries were present. Seems all I had to do was know the correct term for letting your manberries show: and that word my dears is camel toe or moose knuckles. Who knew? Ok ok I didn't.

So that got me to thinking....hush I do think once in a while. What is the craziest thing you have Googled? Then have you put those words into Google Images? Now that is where I found the funniest things.

Camel Toe:



Now the funniest thing I found Googling Camel Toe: Yep if you don't have one you can create your very own!


I dare you to Google moose knuckles.

Fashion NoNo

So many things happened to me today that I could blog about. There were a couple that stood out, I am going to post on the one that got my attention.

Now I am going to append this right now: normally my eyes do not go to a man's crotch. I realize I am a woman. I realize...a lot of things. But I gotta assert once again, normally my eyes do not go directly to a man's crotch. Their eyes or their face or their demeanor, yes. But their crotch? 99.9% of the time no.

But today that changed. I gotta say, men: if you wear slacks that are at least 3 sizes too small and your manberries are very prominent, I will notice. And my thoughts are not nice. It's right up there with seeing your crack and overhanging bellies. yuck yuck yuck

An funny oldie but goodie!

While on a road trip, an elderly couple stopped at a roadside restaurant for lunch. After finishing their meal, they left the restaurant and resumed their trip. As they were leaving, the elderly woman unknowingly left her glasses on the table and didn't miss them until they had been driving about twenty minutes.

By then, to add to the aggravation, they had to travel quite a distance before they could find a place to turn around to return to the restaurant to retrieve her glasses.

All the way back, the elderly husband became the classic grouchy old man. He fussed and complained and scolded his wife relentlessly during the entire return drive. The more he chided her, the more agitated he became. He just wouldn't let up one minute.

To her relief, they finally arrived at the restaurant. As the woman got out of the car and hurried inside to retrieve her glasses, the old geezer yelled to her..."While you're in there, you might as well get my hat and the credit card."

This coming week is National Mental Health Care week.

You can do your part by remembering to contact at least one unstable person to show you care.

Well ... my job is done. Your turn.

But really, have you ever done this? I sure have. Usually though we go back to the place and I realize I had whatever I had thought I left behind in my purse the whole time.

Today I was wracking my brain, trying to remember whose chart I needed from our one office. For the life of me, I couldn't remember and thought I had put it on a post-it but couldn't find it in the 20 some post-its in my pocket. So I started going through every chart when I got sidetracked with another patient. Then hubs wanted the labs from another patient so I went to the computer, opened up IE when my email pops up with messages. I peeked in and saw the email I had sent to myself to remind me (been trying to do that since I either lose or try to launder the post-its all the time). Now I have to remember to check emails for my post-it reminders. **sigh**

Wrong Number

Have any of you ever been annoyed by a persistent wrong number? For the past month, we have been receiving on an average of 1-5 phone calls per day, all asking for the same person. This includes bill collectors, hospitals, cell phones, and regular phones.

I usually just say, sorry - wrong number. But when the number of calls increase, so does my annoyance, especially when it is the same numbers all the time that are calling. Yep, the same exact numbers.

Whoever Dan is, he is not located at our home number. There has never been a Dan here. As far as I know, there will never be a Dan here.

Calling me at 4am is not nice. Waking me up is not nice. I am not a nice person when awakened, especially when the same person using the same cell phone is asking for the same person and I have repeatedly told them the same thing.

THERE IS NO DAN HERE. THERE HAS NEVER BEEN A DAN HERE. YOU HAVE THE WRONG NUMBER.

So, does anyone have any ideas on how to get rid of our wrong number caller?

How to tell you are old!

Well, other than the obvious things, you can tell you are old when you get told what a 3 year old wants for his birthday and you have NO CLUE what it is.

So to determine what store I had to go to, I called my niece who has 1 year old L and his sister S who is 3. I thought my niece was going to need depends. She told me I have been hanging around old people way too much and she would send her kids for the weekend to update me. I said, ummm....yeah I will call you on that! I just needed her to inform me what toy it is and where to find it.

I thought a wiggle was a new hula hoop, or a bug that wiggles, or maybe some new snake or caterpillar - anything that wiggles was going through my brain (ok that one occurred too but just for a split second). Guess I don't get out much.

It isn't wiggle, it is The Wiggles - and not the sound my body makes jiggling either. It's a children's musical group of 4 men from Australia who have managed to rewrite the book about how children can be entertained with song and dance.

Their music is funny and entertaining if you are a child. I didn't get into it that much. The Wiggles state that they are a kid's first rock group. Dunno - my kids grew up with Motown and it didn't hurt them.

Just in case you were as unenlightened as I was, here is a song of theirs and I gotta say they are more annoying than Mr. Rogers.

One interesting day in my life

A few weeks ago I was sitting at my desk pondering what to blog about. My mind was blank. I had no clue what to say or blog about. Yeah yeah, I know those who really know me, know that I am usually never at a loss for words. In fact most will say I usually never shut up.

The past couple of weeks have given me so many blog ideas, I can't even remember them all. They float through my mind like critters, talking to me all the time. I was always in awe of authors and how they say stories just write themselves. My mouth can do that but I could seldom put it onto paper. I am still a much better speaker if you can keep up with my brain.

So today's blog is about what happened today.

Today we spent with the inlaws again. We had to take MIL to the cardiac surgeon for her first visit after her pacemaker was put in 12 days ago. We arrived at their house and thus began our conversations with FIL for the day. Yep almost an exact repeat of the same ones.

We get to the hospital over 30 minutes early only to confront a 6 page new patient registration form which threw MIL into a tizzy. I took the board and started filling it in, leaving hubs with his father, still in the 20 question game.

It took me 40 minutes to help her finish filling out the form. I took it back to the receptionist and kindly asked for a copy. I knew we had another doctor in a week or so and this form would be repeated. Now I would have the answers.

Next was into the exam room. MIL got into a tizzy because the blood pressure machine they were going to take her blood pressure with wasn't the same as hers. The result: yep sky high blood pressure to which kept elevating the more she heard the numbers. I motioned to the nurse to let me take it. I had her deep breathe and calm down then I took it. I hid the numbers from her and said: "See? If you calm down it's better."

So next hurdle: doctor came in. MIL had 18 pages, single lined, front and back, filled with questions. Now mind you if I had seen said list I could have combined said list down to probably 5 questions because they were all basically the same: "When can I use the vacuum?" "When can I rake?" "Can I use a cell phone?" "Can I use a portable phone?" "Can someone use a portable phone in the same room as me?" "Or do they have to go into another room?"

Hubs finally grabbed her list. The doctor pulled a bible out of a drawer, made MIL look her in the eye, put MIL's right hand on a bible, and repeat after her: "I am not going to lift my arms above my head; I am not going to do any pushing; I am not going to do any lifting over 5 pounds; I am not going to exert myself in any way; I am going to call my doctor if I feel anything at all, no matter how small or insignificant I think it is; I am going to behave myself."

While hubs was looking at the list, I was sitting there with my mouth gaping open, and all I could think of was, why was there a bible in the drawer?

So when the doctor got done, she turned to hubs and said: "Is there anything on that list that I haven't already told her?" Hubs had a few things, more if she needed a medical alert bracelet (yes), if she needed antibiotics before any surgery or dental work (no), and when she needed to come back (when the cardiologist said she needed a new battery).

So all questions answered and we started out the medical building next to the hospital. We had asked FIL every single time we passed a bathroom if he needed to go and he kept saying no. So we got outside and were waiting for the car to arrive when he said: "I think I have to go to the bathroom."

So while hubs waited for the car, MIL and FIL and I went back inside to find a bathroom. Thankfully it wasn't far. FIL went into the man's, MIL into the women's. I waited in the middle. MIL comes out so I say I am going too, just wait for me. I come out. MIL is standing there. I ask where FIL was and she said she didn't know.

Ok, how could you not know? So I patiently asked: "Did he come out?" She said no. So I open the male bathroom door, holler in (not peeking) and ask if *** was in there. He said yes. I asked if he had a problem. He started crying. So MIL and I went into the male bathroom (thankfully no one was in there). He had locked himself into the stall and couldn't figure out how to get out.

Ok, no problem. I crawled under the stall and opened the door. (Yeah my post on one of the top dirtiest places came to mind.) MIL went in. FIL is still sitting on the toilet. I tell MIL I am going to the door and hold anyone from coming in. I washed my hands really well. Then went outside the man's bathroom door.

From the door, I am hearing the following:
MIL: "OMG, what did you do?"
FIL: "I did something?"
MIL: "You shit all over yourself."
FIL: "No I didn't. Someone else did."
MIL: "No you did. Now get out of those slacks so I can wash you up."

I hear the sounds of cleaning going on. In the meantime, there is a line forming to use the bathroom. I tell the males to use the female bathroom and I will watch the door for them. They look around like they are about to have a practical joke played on them but finally go in when they see I am not going to allow them into the male bathroom. I had to put my hand up and Girl Scout swear I would not let a female enter the female bathroom when they were there. I am sure they thought I was crazy or someone was going to pop out and say "Smile - you are on candid camera".

Next thing I hear is:
FIL hollering to MIL: "I can't go without underwear."
MIL: "Well, you are. Your underwear is all wet."
FIL: "Why did you get my underwear all wet?"
MIL: "You messed your pants. I washed them."
FIL: "No I didn't. Someone else did"
Yeah you can see above conversation to restart the entire thing. And the entire conversation repeated itself about 10 times.

So the 2 males I let in the female bathroom come out, still looking at me like I was the crazy person. In fact, they never left my sight - they walked away from me backwards until they were far away. I think they ran then.

MIL and FIL finally come out. So we head to the car where hubs has no clue where we have been (45 minutes had now passed).

Hubs is parked right outside the main entrance to the hospital. Note there are a lot of people around. We get to the car and hubs comes out and asks what took you so long. I give him a look like don't even ask.

I shouldn't have bothered. FIL who can't remember a flippen thing, suddenly remembers and YELLS - yes YELLS - "Someone shit in my pants and your mother washed them and wouldn't let me wear them because they are wet so I have no underwear on. Think anyone will notice?"

Yeah real fun day we had.

Don't Get Old!

The blog title says it all. We left his parents alone the past 2 days. We have had 15 phone calls yesterday and today, mainly concerning their water softener which is not working. We said, we will be out Thursday and we will take a look at it then. Did they listen? Nope, MIL called the water softener company which said the output plug was clogged and they needed to empty out the entire water softner of salt and call a plumber to clean it. So instead of listening to us, MIL and FIL hand dipped almost 2 - 50 pound bags out of the softener container. She called us to let us know she did it but they had to stop because they couldn't reach into the container to get the rest. Of course, we about had a heart attack ourselves.

Today MIL calls and says she made her cardiologist appointment for the 19th. I told her that I couldn't do it that day and I had told her that. I told her to get her list of dates I could take her and to see if that date was a good one. She hung up on me. 15 minutes later she calls back after finding the list (might have been nice to have a 'let me call you back while look for the list.' No, I get hung up on. So she says well, yes that wasn't a date you said you would be free but I didn't think it mattered that much.

I am taking deep breaths by now. Why on earth would I bother to make a list of dates I was available if I didn't mean it?

I take a really deep breath and tell her I can't possible take her that day. I had to assist her son in a surgery. She had to change the appointment to another one of the days I gave her. She hung up on me again.

Next call: she made it on another day that was not on the approved list. But the date was doable....just not the time. I asked for the doctor's phone number. She started yelling at me to not treat her like a child. I said then stop acting like one or your rear will be in an assisted living place before I count to 10.

I called the doctor and got an appointment earlier in the day. I called MIL back and FIL answers. I ask where MIL was. This is our conversation:

FIL: "I don't know."
Me: "Is she in the house?"
FIL: "I don't know."
Me: "When did you last see her?"
FIL: "I don't know."
Me: "Will you please look around for her for me?"
FIL: "I don't know if I can do that."
Then he hangs up.

I call back 10 minutes later. This time MIL answers. This is our conversation:

Me: "I called about 10 minutes ago and dad said he didn't know where you were. Is everything ok?"
MIL: "Yeah, I guess. He didn't tell me you called."
Me: "I am not surprised. So what's wrong?"
MIL: "Well, I was outside making sure that foreign lawn mowing company you hired was mowing our grass the way we like."

Ok now I will readily admit I have no clue how to even turn on the riding mower. I am sure I can figure it out. After all, I am woman. But there is a way to mow grass properly? Learn something new every day.

Me: "Ok, but you are not supposed to be outside and you are not supposed to be leaving FIL alone, remember?"
MIL: "Well, this was important. I had to let them know how to mow our grass the way we like it done. But no one spoke English. What kind of company did you hire?"
Me: "I hired a reputable company owned by the son of a friend. They cut over 10 lawns per day, I am sure they can do yours and don't need any instructions."
MIL: "Well, I don't like foreigners on our property. We can just cut the grass ourselves."
Me: "You have over an acre of grass to mow. You are not allowed to mow it. Those are not foreigners and they are trained in what they do. If you fire them, I am putting you in the home this weekend. Now the reason I called was to let you know that I changed your cardiologist appointment on the 25th from the afternoon to the morning. I will be there to take you."
MIL: "Well, I am not sure I like that early in the morning."
Me: "Well, that is the only time I can take you so you will just have to get up a little bit earlier that day. Besides it is your son's and my anniversary. I am giving the morning up to drive you."
MIL: "Well, I don't want to put you out. So I will make dinner for you."
Me: "Don't bother making dinner. I have to be back to work by 2pm and we will be working until 9pm."
Me: "Did the lawyer come by today to revise your healthcare power of attorney and power of attorney for property?"
MIL: "No, I cancelled him. I just can't think of that right now."
Me: "Ok, so your power of attorney is still in the hands of a man who doesn't know what year it is, thinks he is still working, and doesn't know who or where people are. You realize that, right, and this is your choice?"
MIL: "You are making my heart go funny thinking of everything to do."
Me: "Well, you are making ours go even funnier thinking of what you are doing that you are not supposed to be and worrying about it, and cancelling things we have set up to keep you in your home which is what you want. So you have to really really think about this and realize either you slow down and stop this stuff or we will have no choice but to put you in assisted living."

Don't get old. I am revising my healthcare power of attorney to say: Just shoot me!

Stress

I was browsing one of my practice management monthly magazines last night before I fell asleep and came across this:

No Offense, But....
Never speak what's on your mind if you feel the need to preface your comments with the words "I don't mean to offend anyone..." Warning others that you are about to say say something risky does not immunize you from the words' impact. The warning does not let you off the hook. If you think that your words might offend, rework your comments or save them for a more appropriate time.
Source: Adapted from: "Lessons from the Humor Police" by Joni Johnston

Yep should have gotten that a couple of days ago or maybe even years years years ago.

I have this habit of speaking without thinking. Sometimes it is ok but other times it's best to heed the above lesson.

You all know I missed my family reunion since we were/are dealing with the crisis with the inlaws. We had planned for a family photograph for one of the days. We try to take one every year to capture each new member of the family but honestly, with as many people in my side of the family, it just isn't possible. Someone is always missing.

Well, for my parent's 50th anniversary, they sprung for a 7 day Disney cruise for all of us, visiting the Virgin Islands, Jamaica, and the Bahamas. I got sick - actually really sick so hubs and I stayed home. A formal family picture was taken then too and hubs and I missed it. A few of my family have never forgiven me for missing the cruise. It happens even in the best of families. I moved on.

But I committed the same sin once again - I missed the family picture. This time the photographer stated she could photoshop hubs, son, and I into the picture. I guess there were dissenting members of my family. I just found out about it. So before I thought, I got pissed and sent an email to the entire family, letting my feelings be known.....in yep, an angry and pissy tone of voice.

I am now paying the price of that email. But in my defense, I didn't begin the email with the words "I don't mean to offend anyone...". And honestly, I don't regret one word I said in the email.

Does that make me a bad person?

Life

No longer counting days - they are all just starting to blend in. Well, maybe I should count the number of days we actually get off without visiting parents or working. Right now that number is zilch. We have been working and visiting parents every single day.

Yesterday we spent the day with hub's parents again. We arrived out there and were presented with this huge list of places his mother wanted us to take her. We got about half the list done and told her we would do the rest of the list next week when we go back to take her to the cardiac surgeon.

1st on her list was their car. I knew she would try and drive and so her boys disabled the car. She wanted the part back they took out. We said no - not until you get the clearance to drive. She looked to me for support. I said I would have no idea even how to raise the hood of the car let alone know what part was missing.

Next was the pharmacy then the grocery store. Now it wasn't just one grocery store but 5 different ones. She spent the last few days picking what she wanted from each store because this was on sale here and that was on sale there. We vetoed the driving around and said one store only. Put the one that has the most on sale there and that is where we are going.

This woman's heart stopped multiple times last week. One week ago today she had a pacemaker inserted. You would never have believed it last night. I swear at 81 she could try out to be an Olympic sprinter. She left us in the dust. I was left with FIL who was quite upset we didn't know where she went. I said just stand in the middle of the aisle and she will come out. After doing that a few times, I got him interested in helping me pick up a new feather duster as mine had few feathers in it anymore. By the time we had done that, she was done. 20 minute shopping trip which would have taken me an hour to do.

Today we were supposed to spend the day on the lake with a former employee and friends. We are still planning on going - we are just going to be a bit late. One of our patients is back in the hospital and needs a wee bit more of his foot amputated. When hubs gets done with his surgery we will head north.

Day 5 - Who Am I?

No one who knows me would ever label me as a typical or normal person. The accounting of my days lately prove it. This is why I am not normal, just sayin'.

This morning hubs and I were awakened at 6am - ok really, do people really get up this gosh awful early when they get to bed at 2am?

The phone call was from MIL. She was whispering, saying someone was talking in the other room. I woke up instantly and asked where FIL was. She yells - yes YELLS "he's in bed next to me." So I tell her to hang up and call 911 and call me back.

Does she do this? Nope. Here is the conversation I hear (this is all said by her and mind you, in a very loud voice:

"I am grabbing a flashlight." (no clue why but maybe she figured she could use it as a weapon.)

"I am now walking out of my bedroom." Ok, why is she announcing to the person there she is doing this? Me - I would be calling 911 and hiding in the closet or something.

"I am walking down the hall." I hear her literally stomping her feet as she is walking. She is definitely announcing her arrival.

"I am entering the dining room." Ok the kitchen is next to the dining room. Whoever is there has run for their lives!

"I am in the kitchen. This is strange. There isn't anyone here but there is still someone talking. ................Oh my goodness, my phone is talking to me." I try to get her attention and tell her that no I am still on the phone and I wasn't talking.

"Why is my phone telling me how to use it? Any idiot can use the phone. Why is it talking to me?"

Then she hangs up.

I promptly call her back. She answers the phone and starts yelling at me that I just scared the beejeebies out of her because she was investigating why the phone was talking to her when all of a sudden it rang and it wasn't nice to scare an old woman who just got a pacemaker. Then she starts explaining what happened.

I responded: "I know, ***, I heard the whole thing. Are you ok?"

MIL: "Well my nerves are going a bit. I think I should take my blood pressure."

Me: Thinking to myself, yeah I should be taking mine too.

She comes back on the phone and says her blood pressure is ok but she's got a cough. I told her to go back to bed. She said no, she was awake now. I said well make yourself some coffee and drink it and then call me back.

I got up, made coffee here. She calls back and called me a miracle worker. The coffee cured her cough but she was tired and was going back to bed.

Good - great - whatever you say. Thanks for waking me up!

I will leave the phone call from my mother for another day.

**sigh**

Day 4 of Hell Week

Yesterday I took MIL and FIL to her regular doctor's appointment. She had been telling me that she forgets half of what she wants to say and then gets home and remembers. I told her that's normal even for people my age and younger. I showed her how to sit down and write out a list of every single thing she wants answers to and to start that list even the minute she leaves from a prior appointment and save it for the next appointment. I had 5 specific items I wanted answered and done.

Her doctor had prescribed this expensive blood pressure drug. She has a Medicare drug prescription card which doesn't cover it, so instead of her asking the doctor's office to precertify it with her insurance program or change it to another drug that is allowed, she was paying over $600.00 per month for it. Got that changed. The office learned not to mess with me again because I said I would file a complaint against them if they kept gouging seniors (they were also billing the difference Medicare paid them for her visits and the amount they billed which is a huge no-no with a federal insurance program - you are locked into a rate and only allowed to bill what Medicare says you are allowed to bill). So I had gone back through a year's worth of bills and got her over a $3500.00 refund from the doctor's office. I gave them 15 days. They were going to give her a credit on her account. I said nope. Cold hard cash only. I knew that as soon as this ordeal is done, we were changing her doctor. Her heart problem should have been caught long before this. Normal people do not have a resting pulse rate of 40.

So, then I changed all her medications into 90 day orders. This gave her the same copay as a 30 day order. I explained the difference to her and that if she was changing a medication, to stick to the 30 day until she found out it worked. But after that 30 days if the medication worked, you get the prescription turned into a 90 day prescription - way cheaper then.

Now FIL: I think I would be in a psychiatric institution if I had to be with him day in and day out. Every 2-5 minutes we repeat the following conversation:

Him: "Who are you?"
Me: "I am **, your son **'s wife."
Him: "Why are you here?"
Me: "To help ** after her surgery."
Him: "Why wasn't I told about this?"
Me: "You were and have been here the entire time."
Him: "Was she in the hospital?"
Me: "Yes, at **. But she's out now and taking a nap." (This was after she was home. Before it was a few different lines in there."
Him: "Well, I need to go see her."
He then reaches into his pocket for his keys.
Him: "Who has my car keys?"
Me: "You haven't driven in 8 years since you had the stoke."
Him: "Well that just isn't true. I drove here."
Me: "Where is here?"
Him: "Well, I don't quite know."
Me: "Who are you?"
Him: "***"
Me: "Good. How old are you?"
Him: "I don't remember. I think I should know that though."
Me: "You are 90."
Him: "Really? Time has sure flown by."
Him: "Where's mom and dad?"
Me: "They died 15 years ago."
Him: "Why wasn't I told of this?"
Me: "You were and arranged the entire funeral."
Him: "Oh."
Me: "Do you need anything?"
Him: He would sit and scratch his head, shaking it to clear the cobwebs, then sit still for a minute or 2 and begin this whole conversation over again. You begin to automatically answer after repeating the same answers every 5 minutes. At times he would see me in the kitchen, etc and call me the babysitter. He had no clue who was President, what year it was, or anything.

Hub's other brother yelled at me for telling him the truth about his parents, etc because he would get depressed. I said that crying, etc was a normal reaction to people who had the type of stroke he had. It had nothing to do with depression. Plus a small fine point: If he couldn't remember his parents were deceased even after 5 minutes, then how can he get depressed about it? He didn't have long enough time to react to the news his parents were deceased before it left the memory area.

But ask the man about his march in WWII with Patton and he is as clear as day. He would never talk about those times before. Now I know why. He still has nightmares about the trenches and foxholes because he will wake himself up and need to stretch his cramped legs. When he does, he crouches so his head won't be shot off. I know only 8 men made it out that were in his squadron. I made him an appointment with a cardiologist since his cramped legs are a sign of blood circulation. He has no pulses in either his feet or ankle areas. That might be why he is cramping up and is relating it to the feeling he had when he was in the trenches or foxhole for hours and days.

While picking up their meds and a few groceries MIL wanted, I got a melamine board for them and hung it on a wall with the date, etc. I then told him to look at the board and tell me the date and year. At least part of the conversation was eliminated then. I also picked up a couple of thick hard puzzles one gives 1-4 year olds with 10 pices max. He was still working on the 6 piece one when I left but at least it keeps him occupied.

I then left them and drove the hour and half into work and began a crazy loony day at the office.

Today I just got back from their house and am getting ready to go to another office to work there until I return there to make sure things are ok and make dinner for the 4 of us. I arranged a neighbor to watch them when I am not there.

I have to arrange to have lifeline come out and talk to us about installing it in their home. She has discarded any talk of assisted living or anyone coming into their house to help her. I told her if I found anything done that I told her not to do, she was being packed and shipped to my house or assisted living and I was declaring her mentally incompetent then. I think she got the point.

Is this week over yet?

Day 2

And home tonight. MIL did great today. She just did her normal thang and I watched her. We would record her blood pressure after every activity or if she even felt a twinge. MIL and FIL walked to their mailbox at the street then around their house twice for exercise. I took her blood pressure then and all day long she did great. She has the normal tired feeling but nothing unexpected. I wrote out a list of everything she has to do and update (their health care power of attorney which was to FIL who doesn't even know who he is and property power of attorney). The guys next door to them are going to watch them as is their other next door neighbors as well as the neighbors across the street from them. I arranged for a church lady's daughter to come in for 1-4 hours 3 times a week to get her some respite care and this daughter can even drive them places. She is in nursing school and welcomes the extra job and eliminates MIL and FIL not knowing who was coming into their home. When she graduates in 3 years I will worry about someone else then. I set up a lawn service to mow their lawn once a week and they will also provide snow removal in the winter. I arranged for the one neighbor's son to put salt in their water softener once a week if they need it and to bring things up from the basement for them. I laid down the law and said if any of the above people are cancelled for any reason, they go immediately into assisted living.

So after I made dinner for them (spaghetti) and made extra marinara and froze that. Then I made a meatloaf, baked chicken, and turkey breast and froze all them into portion size dinners for them. So they should be set for a bit. Or at least until the weekend.

So I get to sleep in my own bed and not hotflash all night long.......joy joy!

Day 1

MIL was released from the hospital today, way too soon in my opinion but Medicare doesn't think so. Since she was released on a Sunday, of course no social service so no home care so guess who got the job? Yep moi!

I have been with his father day in and day out since Thursday. By Saturday morning and little to no sleep in 3 days, I had about reached the end of my rope. I told hubs even my family was easier to deal with. Hub's brother said he would take care of his father yesterday and overnight and I didn't give him a chance to say change his mind. We left. I pretty much went to bed as soon as I got home and slept 12 hours straight.

The morning was spend arranging things for the office for hubs to take in, doing laundry, then packing so I can stay at his parent's house for the week. On our way over, I stopped at Best Buy and changed from a card with prepaid minutes on it for the internet to adding this nice doohickey with unlimited whistles and bells (as long as I have cell access). Which is how I am on here....nifty gizmos they have out now. Not a clue as to what it's called but the Geek Squad must be used to the word doohickey and after asking me what I wanted it for, they went right to it and then it was activation and voila...after a short install, I am set to go.

Hubs stayed for dinner. I made swedish meatballs for them with steamed veges the low fat and low sodium way. Hubs or his parents didn't have a clue until I told them.

So far we are doing ok if you count going to bed before sundown ok. I am more of a night person but lately it's been anything goes so guess I will be adapting over the next few days.

We've had just a few minor repeats of who I am, why I am here, etc. I hear them snoring right now so hopefully they will stay that way for a bit.

To catch you up: hub's mother was admitted Friday for blood pressure problems although on admission her pulse was pretty low so while they had taken her down for tests, I had the nurses put a heart monitor on her. Luckily I did because she didn't just have high blood pressure, she was in 1st degree heart block. She was brought back to the room and switched immediately to CCU. She progressed from 1st degree to 2nd degree and so defibrillator pads were placed on her. They finally got her blood pressure down via IV meds when she developed congestive heart failure so they flooded her with Lasix and put a catheter into her bladder. She progressed to 3rd degree block and they inserted a temporary pacemaker until they could get a surgeon. She had a pacemaker inserted Saturday am and has been doing fine since. She was discharged this afternoon straight from CCU. So she's my problem right now until we decide what she is capable of and what they need here at home. I swore I would never move back to my parent's house and yet here I am taking care of the MIL and FIL.

**sigh** day 1 and counting down.......at least I have internet!

Family

Family = there are no longer any words. Yep they have now made me speechless. I know why you lose your mind as you age. You take care of elderly parents.

Hubs and I got a call from his mother Wed nite. She was highly agitated and psychotic saying she felt a darkness coming over her so she took her blood pressure and it was 260/50 or she got a reading of E which she interpreted as go to the ER (like a machine can tell you that). So I calmly explained the E was an error reading, to make sure she had new batteries in the machine and retake it. So she called back in 10 min and had worked herself up even more, so we told her to call 911and go to the er and we would meet her there. She was protesting because of hub's father - she just didn't know what to do with him (he's had 4 strokes in the past 3 years and he's lucky to know his name let alone anyone else).

So we took off and spent until yesterday afternoon at the hospital ER. Basically she had every orifice examined, probed and prodded, along with heart tests for a possible heart attack and brain scans for a stroke. I said call a psychiatrist. I swear she wanted to be admitted because when they would rule one thing out, she would say something else hurt or she hadn't taken a shit in 4 days, yanno all the bullstuff you knew she was full of.

In the meantime. we are trying to keep his father contained (a struggle itself) and I swear if it wasn't the middle of the night or hubs needed his belt I was going to tie his father to a chair or bed. He would keep getting up and trying to tell us he was going to go on to work. He would bring out a hankie and would say it was his car keys. (He retired in 1985). He wouldn't let me take him home because his mother told him to never go with a stranger (he's known me for 31 years). So I had hubs take him home and put him to bed then a neighbor would watch him for us.

So the end result was she was released to go home. Hubs and I took them home and got them situated. We had already cancelled all patients for the day because we didn't know what was going on so just easier to cancel - besides we had been up all night and we are too old for all nighters.

The reason why she did what she did. well, besides being a PITA, she takes her blood pressure medications when she feels like she needs them and not on any regular schedule. I swear she is doing this to herself purposefully because she is in the role of primary caretaker since hub's father had a few strokes. She was always the pampered taken care of person. Her doctor who I think is a quack and my thinking is backed up by investigations into him, changed her blood pressure medicine because all he saw was the other one wasn't working. He never bothered asking her if she was actually taking it and she didn't volunteer it either. That medicine tends to lower your pulse rate. Her pulse was running in the 40's which is way too low for a 200 pound woman. She had not taken her medicine for 3 days prior and so when she found it was high, took a double dose of the medicine instead of a regular dose. It dipped her pulse but didn't do diddly squat for her blood pressure because by this time she had worked herself up into a tizzy.

So she was sent home on a different medicine which immediately lowered her blood pressure but doesn't affect the pulse as much and she felt 100% better. That is, until she got home and hubs and I sat her down for a good old fashioned blunt talking to. We basically told her that we would be by next week and we were going to look at assisted living facilities for them. That she couldn't handle it and we couldn't trust her to take her medicines so we would have a nurse around all the time to take care of both of them. We found out she was leaving hub's father at home alone (he fell once and couldn't figure out how to get up and laid there for probably more than 2 hours while she was shopping). Another time she left him, she came home to find the oven on and stove top on but nothing cooking and he was in the basement (she had left the gate unlocked). He was trying to get his workbench saw started. I guess after this she started taking him with. Once she left him in the car with the keys. She came back out of the store 20 min later and he was in the drivers side playing with the controls. She's lucky he didn't try to drive. (We found this all out yesterday). We called hub's brother and told him to get his tuckus down to their house and watch them for the weekend. I arranged for a nurse to come by the house 5 hours a day until we can get them into a facility.

So that's been our last 24+ hours. Now I am getting ready to take off for a family reunion (my family). For 3 days I get to spend with my siblings, their spouses, their children, their children's children, my own family, and my parents in a 10,000 square foot air conditioned old farmhouse we rented out that has 10 separate bedrooms, one kitchen, no utensils, no microwave, 1 oven, 4 cooktops, and 1 frig. Anything we want to cook with we have to bring with. But it is nice in that we have exclusive use of 10 acres of land, an inground pool, hot tub, lighted tennis courts and basketball court, horeshoe pits, volleyball net, fire pit, and an indoor game room. Every year there are complainers. Every family has them. Maybe it's the sheer number of people in my family but it always seems somehow my family has more than most. Me? I enjoy my peace and quiet. I also enjoy seeing my nieces and nephews and siblings. I just can't stand the fighting and bickering. There are times I don't know who is the youngest - the actual one that is youngest by age or the one who is acting younger than that.