Yesterday I took MIL and FIL to her regular doctor's appointment. She had been telling me that she forgets half of what she wants to say and then gets home and remembers. I told her that's normal even for people my age and younger. I showed her how to sit down and write out a list of every single thing she wants answers to and to start that list even the minute she leaves from a prior appointment and save it for the next appointment. I had 5 specific items I wanted answered and done.
Her doctor had prescribed this expensive blood pressure drug. She has a Medicare drug prescription card which doesn't cover it, so instead of her asking the doctor's office to precertify it with her insurance program or change it to another drug that is allowed, she was paying over $600.00 per month for it. Got that changed. The office learned not to mess with me again because I said I would file a complaint against them if they kept gouging seniors (they were also billing the difference Medicare paid them for her visits and the amount they billed which is a huge no-no with a federal insurance program - you are locked into a rate and only allowed to bill what Medicare says you are allowed to bill). So I had gone back through a year's worth of bills and got her over a $3500.00 refund from the doctor's office. I gave them 15 days. They were going to give her a credit on her account. I said nope. Cold hard cash only. I knew that as soon as this ordeal is done, we were changing her doctor. Her heart problem should have been caught long before this. Normal people do not have a resting pulse rate of 40.
So, then I changed all her medications into 90 day orders. This gave her the same copay as a 30 day order. I explained the difference to her and that if she was changing a medication, to stick to the 30 day until she found out it worked. But after that 30 days if the medication worked, you get the prescription turned into a 90 day prescription - way cheaper then.
Now FIL: I think I would be in a psychiatric institution if I had to be with him day in and day out. Every 2-5 minutes we repeat the following conversation:
Him: "Who are you?"
Me: "I am **, your son **'s wife."
Him: "Why are you here?"
Me: "To help ** after her surgery."
Him: "Why wasn't I told about this?"
Me: "You were and have been here the entire time."
Him: "Was she in the hospital?"
Me: "Yes, at **. But she's out now and taking a nap." (This was after she was home. Before it was a few different lines in there."
Him: "Well, I need to go see her."
He then reaches into his pocket for his keys.
Him: "Who has my car keys?"
Me: "You haven't driven in 8 years since you had the stoke."
Him: "Well that just isn't true. I drove here."
Me: "Where is here?"
Him: "Well, I don't quite know."
Me: "Who are you?"
Him: "***"
Me: "Good. How old are you?"
Him: "I don't remember. I think I should know that though."
Me: "You are 90."
Him: "Really? Time has sure flown by."
Him: "Where's mom and dad?"
Me: "They died 15 years ago."
Him: "Why wasn't I told of this?"
Me: "You were and arranged the entire funeral."
Him: "Oh."
Me: "Do you need anything?"
Him: He would sit and scratch his head, shaking it to clear the cobwebs, then sit still for a minute or 2 and begin this whole conversation over again. You begin to automatically answer after repeating the same answers every 5 minutes. At times he would see me in the kitchen, etc and call me the babysitter. He had no clue who was President, what year it was, or anything.
Hub's other brother yelled at me for telling him the truth about his parents, etc because he would get depressed. I said that crying, etc was a normal reaction to people who had the type of stroke he had. It had nothing to do with depression. Plus a small fine point: If he couldn't remember his parents were deceased even after 5 minutes, then how can he get depressed about it? He didn't have long enough time to react to the news his parents were deceased before it left the memory area.
But ask the man about his march in WWII with Patton and he is as clear as day. He would never talk about those times before. Now I know why. He still has nightmares about the trenches and foxholes because he will wake himself up and need to stretch his cramped legs. When he does, he crouches so his head won't be shot off. I know only 8 men made it out that were in his squadron. I made him an appointment with a cardiologist since his cramped legs are a sign of blood circulation. He has no pulses in either his feet or ankle areas. That might be why he is cramping up and is relating it to the feeling he had when he was in the trenches or foxhole for hours and days.
While picking up their meds and a few groceries MIL wanted, I got a melamine board for them and hung it on a wall with the date, etc. I then told him to look at the board and tell me the date and year. At least part of the conversation was eliminated then. I also picked up a couple of thick hard puzzles one gives 1-4 year olds with 10 pices max. He was still working on the 6 piece one when I left but at least it keeps him occupied.
I then left them and drove the hour and half into work and began a crazy loony day at the office.
Today I just got back from their house and am getting ready to go to another office to work there until I return there to make sure things are ok and make dinner for the 4 of us. I arranged a neighbor to watch them when I am not there.
I have to arrange to have lifeline come out and talk to us about installing it in their home. She has discarded any talk of assisted living or anyone coming into their house to help her. I told her if I found anything done that I told her not to do, she was being packed and shipped to my house or assisted living and I was declaring her mentally incompetent then. I think she got the point.
Is this week over yet?
